Let refresh She has ten times the experience than me in the "sac, i constantly do the cooking cleaning, the 7-5 job, buy flowers and nightgowns and make her feel wanted and what not. she is the one that doesnt want sex but trust me i do all of the chores around the house on top of a full and a part time job....take her to dinner or to the movies and i still cant make her feel whatever it is she needs to feel to make love to me! Before we got married it was spuratic in the bed but it was atleast once a week.... we waited 9 months before we made love the first time and it was her that wanted it so i dont understand now that were married and i would like it atleast once and a while all she has to say is NO and tells me thats all that i think about... but seriously she hasnt slept with me in atleast 2 months at all! i am really seriously thinkin we ought to just take seperate bedrooms!
2007-03-04 00:24:34 · 20 answers · asked by Joseph S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You might try talking to her.
2007-03-04 00:29:03 · answer #1 · answered by Dharma Nature 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
There could be lots of reasons for this - having an affair, unsure she really wants to be married, asexual, but most likely she has some issues from her life prior to you. Did she ever sleep with someone and then get completely hurt and dumped? I'm not a psychologist, but I'd guess something must've happened to her. I'd suggest somehow getting her to agree to go to a counselor, even if it is under the guise that you must have some type of issue, just to get her there, and the truth will eventually come out. Your wife may not consciously realize that her actions are a problem and may believe in her mind that she is the 'normal' one in this regard.
2007-03-04 00:37:51 · answer #2 · answered by J D Jr. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep, i was married twice and i married a virgin filipina lady who had no children and don't wanty any as she was always a nanny for her life.
we have a zero sex life and we have been married twenty one years.. she does all the work in the house..she cooks like an angel and she is very thrifty with the money..and she does not smoke, drink or gamble. her only vice is playing games on the computer.
So I am sixty two and don't miss the sex part too much as my first two wives were more woman then i could handle but they had issues with drugs and alcohol..see the difference?
i gave up sex to have a more stable home life..these first two women (plus a lot of fast women in between) are fun but they are not a good way to live your life..it was fun while it lasted but sooner or later the best of sex gets stale.
but good luck..with you doing all those chores most women would want a guy like you..but it don't usually work that way as most women would take advantage of a nice guy because they lose respect..look at ZSA ZSA's husband..how pathetic
2007-03-04 00:36:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You work a full time job, 8 hrs, plus a part time job say 4 hrs and do work at home plus 2 hrs. Dude you are a donkey working 14 hrs. Do you know where she gets her fill when you are not around? Put a camera and see if the neighbor is lurking in your bedroom
2007-03-04 00:35:25 · answer #4 · answered by nice guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things to do or think about:
** The realities are that some partners are asexual- which may be the case here
*** see if there is emotional damage that doesn't allow her to connect here
** examine you behavior throughout the day- are you setting the mood all day or just ignoring her and then wanting to jump in the sack the minute the lites go out
** and about all that advice about spicing it up in the bedroom is all about technique- ignore those folks as they see sex as mere strategy, cool moves, techniques and bluster w/o real love and compassion
** if you need techniques, consider books on Tantric sex, 100 nites of great lovemaking, 52 weeks of great sex, etc.
Good luck!
2007-03-04 00:28:45 · answer #5 · answered by Wisdom??? 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try giving her lots of oral first then see. If still no luck flirt with other woman when she around. Give them all your attention and her none. If this does not work invite family to see her for last time for she is a walking dead person
2007-03-04 00:41:32 · answer #6 · answered by sara a 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depression is the enemy of women's libido. Also it sounds silly but it is easy for some women to get out of the habit. Work up to it---back rubs-kisses-compliments and love talk (not sex talk). Good luck
2007-03-04 12:36:04 · answer #7 · answered by Midwestgal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all you can do is just talk to her, tell her that you feel like she doesnt fancy you anymore because your not having sex ! ask her why she doesnt want to have sex with you and if things dont change then you seriously need to think about your relationship and what its all about. if she says that sex is all you think about, say no it aint and that your just wondering why she's not attracted to you anymore and that your scared that if things dont change then things will go terribly wrong and you will end up hating each other.
2007-03-04 00:32:56 · answer #8 · answered by vicki 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't say how old either of you are. Has she gone to the doctor??? That might help. Is she on some kind of medication that might alter her libido??? You can even go to the health food store and get herbs to help this. Good Luck.
2007-03-04 00:29:58 · answer #9 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you love her, get counseling, if she loved you she would be
making love to you.....................................................................
I have had this problem from someone, I eventually gave up
and after 2 years and 5 months am now on my own...............
He does nothing on the sex side and expects everything to
be laid on for him daily, I broke off with him 2 years and 8
months ago now, and now he wants me, but after the
sexual rejection I decided to look elsewhere............................
If you are in love persevere, if not then find someone else......
Or you will end up rabidly hungry for sex, and it shows ask me
I know, separate rooms, as well but get out of the relationship
find someone who sees you and wants to be with you...............
Believe me the other alternative is not worth the hurt it brings....
2007-03-04 00:33:10 · answer #10 · answered by gorglin 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Communication. Everyone has different sex drives, but a healthy couple should be able to reach a compramise.
2007-03-04 00:30:39 · answer #11 · answered by QT 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋