My boyriend and I live together happiily (in my apartment)....for the most part. My boyfriend and his "baby mama" have a temporary court agreement that states he gets his daughter ever other weekend. Well the issue I'm having is her. She is abnormally controlling and is the typical "loud, ghetto girl" and is impossible to reason with, and whenever she feels that she wants their daughter back, she starts drama. She'll come to my home and bang on the door for hours, she ripped the numbers off my door, and when we called the police, they couldn't didn't do anything to her, but tell her to leave and never come back...again. My issue is that this is a continous battle. THEY are going through a battle but I am constantly caught up in it. What are my rights?
2007-03-04 00:10:03 · 12 answers · asked by Hmmm? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get a restraining order, not much more you can do. Or wait for her with a bat (actually, that's a bad idea)!
One more thought, what role does he play in this? A truly caring BF would make adjustments to protect you from this abusive situation, and if he doesn't, then you have another problem
2007-03-04 00:14:37 · answer #1 · answered by Wisdom??? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The most frustrating part: you don't have any. You have no rights when it comes to their court battles or any other battles, I know because I'm married and I have no 'rights' when it comes to my husband's ex and their current situation (too long to get into). If she presents a physical danger to you you could bring a restraining order against her. Your b/f could also do the same, however, it would only increase the feelings of animosity that everyone has. You could suggest mediation. There are professionals who could help you hammer out the issues and maybe find resolutions. It's a very difficult situation and the best thing you can do for yourself is stay out of it. Good luck to you.
2007-03-04 01:21:37 · answer #2 · answered by Yogini 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is riping things off the door at your apartment YES, the police can do something about. Fill out a police report and if you can take a picture of the damage. Not on a cell phone, with a real camera so you can show people.
Also since it is your apartment, along with your boyfriend, You are with in your right to not have her come over there at all. Your boyfriend can go and get the baby and then drop him/her off. If the mother does not like this then it can be explained to her the reason as to why you do not want her over there at any time.
I would start documenting ever thing that is done and said by her. It will help later on it necessary..
You might also have to understand that she may not like you because of the father. she may not like him either but may not want him with you. It is that way sometimes.
It also might be a good idea since you might not be able to get a lawyer, but write her a letter and send it certified explaining that you no longer want her to come over to your home, that the father will come and get the baby and he will drop him off, If she wants to make sure the home is safe for her child to be in then she is more the welcome to send Social Services at anytime to check and give her a report. That you are finding it unhealthily for your home that she comes over and is destructive.
Sending it certified will make sure that you know she got it and also will state what you wish to have happen in your home. You are in no way telling her what she should do in hers or what she should do with child but that you no longer what it at your house.
It will also show as a record that you made an attment to keep things peacfull and gave her options.
Good Luck.
2007-03-04 00:28:28 · answer #3 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say get a restraining order, but if you live together with your boyfriend, she cant drop off the kids someone else would have to. I think there is a certain amount of feet she needs to stay away from you, your home and vehicle.Its a shame that she has to be so unreasonable and that the kids have to hear all this. I wish you luck, she sounds like a nut.
2007-03-04 00:21:30 · answer #4 · answered by mlock123 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the restraining order is the best way to go and make sure you document everything as well and then submit a copy of it to the courts pertaining to the custody case it might help show the mama is unstable.
2007-03-04 00:18:18 · answer #5 · answered by Just Me 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may be able to get some sort of restraining order on her, but considering you're not biologically involved here, you really don't have any 'rights'.
Try calling your local sheriff's office to see if there's something that can be done and if not, try contacting child services to see if she can be escorted when coming to your house so there's less chance of her causing a scene.
2007-03-04 00:16:16 · answer #6 · answered by Bobbie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All you could do is get a restraining order on her to keep so far away from your home but then someone would have to pick little girl up from hers but at least then if she comes a knocking she gets banged up :)
2007-03-04 01:06:01 · answer #7 · answered by clare w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a right to kick your b/f out seeing how he is walking all over you and should spare you from this kind of thing, or he can go to juvenile court and have her appear and let them set up visitation most likely he will need to see a lawyer seeing how she seems to be unfit because she can't control her behavior or he can limit his visitation so she won't be bothering to be pounding on your door.
2007-03-04 00:18:10 · answer #8 · answered by Denny O 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can put a warrant out so she can not come near you or your place.It can be arranged so that the daddy and ex meet at police station to exchange child.That way she isn't as likely to start stuff.But your boyfriend has to be willing to go along with it also.
2007-03-04 00:24:05 · answer #9 · answered by Dixie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you have no rights. If you want to avoid the fighting you could ask your boyfriend to get his own place. Although I can't believe the cops wouldn't charge her with anything. She must have talked her way out of it. Good luck.
2007-03-04 00:24:49 · answer #10 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋