Living with my mum, but we keep having the same old fights, my parents separated 6 months ago and she keeps coming back to the same old issues with my dad. shes angry i still talk to him, even though she and my sister dont, she sees this as betrayal. She's very sick, and her father just died, and I don't want to leave my sister, but I can't see the situation getting any better, she keeps attacking me, I'm usually very busy, so the time I do spend with her, she seems intent on ruining by starting a fight.
But, my dad is living with his mother at the moment and is seeing another woman (another reason shes mad), but he always makes me feel welcome and says i can live with him whenever I want. it seems it'd be better If i just move out alltogether (without either of them) but I can't afford It. Help, to move or not to move
btw i'm 20! when is she going to let go??!!!
2007-03-03 23:23:32 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I have tried talking to her, time and TIME again, the problem is she can't stick to one argument, one minute she hates that I see my father, the next, she hates that I work, or she hates my boyfriend or when i'm home (inbetween my 2 jobs and uni) i don't do enough housework (which is crud considering i'll get in after work at 2am and empty the dishwasher and do the laundry and clean the house), arguments with her are definitley not rational. it seems all im ever doing is running around like crazy dodging bullets. Argggghhh. so complicated!
2007-03-03 23:37:53 · update #1
You're 20 and you're asking if you should move out? And why at that age would you not be able to 'afford it'?
It's wrong of your mother to make you feel guilty for having a relationship with your father, but you're old enough to make the choice to not let her manipulating actions/attitude control what you do. It's not your responsibility to fix the problems the 2 of them created, nor should they expect that of you. You need to be clear with your parents that you're not getting involved when either of them start going on about the other one. Suggest they go to a shrink if either of them feel the need to ***** about the other one and keep you out of it.
2007-03-03 23:56:16 · answer #1 · answered by Bobbie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother will always be mad at you until you turn against your father. And thats not right and not something you want to do. Im sure you have told her that He is your father and that you will continue to love him, just as you love your mother.
It will take alot of changing on her side before she can actually be okay with this all.
Moving out might be a good idea, if your mother isnt making your life happy at home, and if you cant afford it, then why not move in with your dad? Sounds reasonable to me.
2007-03-04 07:32:18 · answer #2 · answered by Encouragement 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Son,
Continue to see your father regardless of the situation or whose at fault. The relationship with your father is very important.Sorry!! to say but your Mom needs counseling, you must get out or the house will self-destruct.Also,I don't know how old your sister is, but If you leave then we know that your sister will then become the target for your Mom anger, This why she needs therapy...She coping with the death of her father, She's dealing with a break up and most of all she's ill, This is too much for one person to deal with all at once. I know she will probably refuse the help and it may anger her if you even suggest such a thing, But your situation is a tragedy waitng to happen.........Please seek Help for the whole family. I don't want to read about in the paper.
Love and Peace
2007-03-04 08:14:20 · answer #3 · answered by Prophet Field 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom should not put you in the middle. They separated from each other...you didn't separate from either of them.
You need to talk to your mom and let her know that you still love your dad too. Tell her how she is making you feel and that it is not right. See if she will understand and change her behavior...if not, maybe you should try to stay with your dad for awhile if that is possible since money is tight for you. Tough situation!
be cool...
2007-03-04 07:30:17 · answer #4 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your mother is hurt.Sit and talk to her, she is not seeing things clearly from your side at the moment.If that doesn't help, then try moving in with your father.Sometimes distance does help.
2007-03-04 07:30:55 · answer #5 · answered by mother hen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got enough on your plate, move in with your dad. She'll get over it when she finds a new boyfriend.
2007-03-04 07:48:49 · answer #6 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋