48yr f been with partner 10yrs. Lack of sex prob for me. He self satisfies 4-5 days wk. nearly 18mths nothing.

Question

Spoke to him bout it excuses (tired, timing). I feel alone and unattractive. He treats me like queen in all other ways but the way I need. HELPPPPPPPP. Even sent him emails telling him how it is making me feel (unopened). When I approach subject now goes on defensive. Don.t know what to do. Could live with fact if there is no chemistry or he is not attracted to me in that way anymore. Not knowing hurts. Knowing there is no medical problem as he can satisfy himself makes me think there is nothing there anymore. My doctor does not have answers. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP

Answer 1

A relationship shouldn't be based on sex, but when there isn't any at all...there is a whole lot of problems. Is there any chance he could be cheating on you? When men don't want sex from their partner, there has got to be something wrong.

Answer 2

Excuses like tired etc...I can understand...but the last 18 months...he is tired ...cant believe...better talk to him openly first...like what is the reason? what makes him freeze...?

Did you try like to attract him ..like after wearing sexy,good looking dress etc
Did you try to seduce him etc.

if you tried all those whatever I mentioned above..and nothing got worked..then think about a counseling session (sex and relation ship/family ..I don't know in your country what type of counseling they are providing and what they are calling for that.) any how try to find out and don't hesitate to take advice/session from them but make sure he be there with you.
After reading some of the answers above me...I have decided to add some more cause some of these young guys/girls thinks that when a man reached 40 plus or rather 45 plus he cannot ejaculate or he cannot give full pleasure/satisfies her....these are all rubbish....if I am wrong ..try ask those men. and ..why I have written these here...is cause pls.don't get confused after reading all those answers.

Answer 3

Sorry honey but you have a hard choice. Stay with the man and for get sex or dump him and find someone new to love. You could try to demand he go with you to counseling but he most likly will not go. You need to sit him down and face to face confront him and ask what is going on. Tell him you are about to leave him over this and if things do not change fast you are gonna divorce him .... and then do it. Otherwise you are just gonna go on the way you are right now. If he is really worth it in ALL other respects, I'd say get you to Xaviera's secret and get a nice assortment of vibrators and take care of yourself like he does. I am afraid those are your only real choices. Good Luck

Answer 4

Hey, Im sorry this is happening to you, it really is a kick in the guts to a woman when they treat them this way. I know how it feels cos Ive been there myself. It is easy for people to say that a relationship shouldnt be based on sex, but this isnt wat its about, is it! It hurts and the constant rejection just about sends you nuts, and not knowing why they dont want you! Well, I reckon give up on trying to find out why, chances are you will never find out why anyway. And if he is *****ing himself - well obviously there is no medical problem.... I feel sorry for you, but really the decision is going to be yours in the end... If you stay with him is he going to listen to you and change? Can you deal with this for much longer without going insane? I think if he doesnt respect your needs (yours are just as important as his) then get rid of him / or take a lover!!! I wish you all the best babe!

Answer 5

there could be lots of reasons....but the reason doesn't really matter...he is treating you like a good friend or roomate and you feel alone and unattractive....is that how you are supposed to feel when you are in a commited relationship with someone you love....don't think so....I would sit him down and have a serious talk...no email crap....and put the cards on the table...tell him exactly how you feel and how the fact that he will masturbate 4-5 days a week but can't find time or energy in 18 months to make love to you is bull and is breaking your heart.....he either comes out with his issues or I would pack my things and move on with my life...you are too young to be in a sexless and dishonest relationship with poor communication and no respect...good luck

Answer 6

Sounds like a classic case of a guy treating his wife like his mother.

He needs some retraining.
You did not marry a 35 year old that was living at home did you?

Answer 7

Please talk to him. Tell him in a non-threatening way how you feel when he does what he does. Maybe he feels like he cannot satisfy you....many men at this age are beginning to have problems ejaculating. If you are comfortable with it, help him masturbate or perhaps you can self satisfy yourself while he does his thing. ONLY if you are comfortable with it.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

maybe momma need anew bag... I would look closer and think about your needs and if he does not want to fulfill any longer you have to take a walk or he does. does he pleasure himself in front of you or he tells you? could he have a pron problem?

Answer 10

try doing sumthing you dont usually do to turn him on, instead of talking about ,it just do it.Try massaging him first and get the blood flowing start at his feet and work your way up and dont be afraid of trying something new