There was once a man, who had some great vision
In taking his time, with every decision
But there were some, who pulled at his leg
Who cried to him, and then they would beg
He knew in his heart what they really wished for
When push came to shove, they wanted to score
He was born with a curse, which tore him apart
It was known far and wide, that he had a great heart
They all sure did try, to give it a go
Hoping his money, to them it would flow
He usually tried, to help those in need
Hoping their word, was true and not greed
But in the end, he always gave in
In his mind saying no, was surely a sin
He always found out, their words were not true
They never paid back, like they said they would do
And there came a day when his wealth went away
Not many more, would come and visit and stay
It came to him clearly, when those days were done
The ones who came calling, they wanted none
2007-03-03 22:58:12 · 11 answers · asked by gary_b04901 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It's...different. It does rhyme. xD Um, 7.5/10. Just some wordings are a little bleh, but what really bugs me is you use "Hoping his money" and then "Hoping their word" in the same stanza. I like the topic of your poem though, it's interesting to read.
2007-03-03 23:24:55 · answer #1 · answered by ♫ Melody 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5
2007-03-03 23:03:07 · answer #2 · answered by AJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An 8...are you going to place up it to a mag...i will see it in some style of booklet. the reason i did not provide it a 10 is as a results of the fact it actual rhymes slightly lots. this is friendly, something to think of roughly.
2016-10-17 05:50:58 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really nice 9
2007-03-03 23:38:21 · answer #4 · answered by Trisha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I give ya a 10 plus.
2007-03-03 23:56:54 · answer #5 · answered by majean52 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i give it a 10 for that is the way my in laws was with my hubby,,thay were always there wanting something and crying about there lifes,,but he always gave to then and listened to them,,but when he got cancer and couldnt get out of bed there was none there for him then,,so that poem reaches my heart so much,,thank you for sharing it with us all,,and god bless ya
2007-03-03 23:08:20 · answer #6 · answered by vera e 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Woow man that was cool...9 outta 10!! Did u make it by ne chance??
2007-03-03 23:04:44 · answer #7 · answered by Choco 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10!
really eerie and sad. don't publish cause it gives a chill down my spine.
2007-03-03 23:04:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good. 8+.
2007-03-03 23:02:18 · answer #9 · answered by zaytox0724 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'll give it a 4 !!!!!! THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!!!!! I'm very emotional at the moment???? JUST GIVE ME A SECOND ????? while i wipe the tears off keypad !!!!!! YOU are very talented!!! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!!!!!!
2007-03-03 23:11:59 · answer #10 · answered by Spanky the monkey !!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋