Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

Answer 1

Because in the beginning, he was my dream. We danced in the rain, walked hand in hand in the park, and I fell truly in love. He was so kind, caring, and (I thought) loved me so much. As the years passed, we began to argue more, I began to see signs... but as they say, Love is blind. I loved him so much by then and we had built so much of our lives together.. I thought it was just a rough patch and would go back to the love we'd had.

Then, one day, he got very angry... he hurt me though he didn't hit me... I tried to leave and he grabbed my arm so hard he put bruises on me and pulled me back, kept me from leaving. I was outraged. Though I had no where to go and no way to get there, the moment he left the house I tried to pack and called my family for help. - their response was that these things usually work themselves out and to try to stay.

I didn't know of shelters then... thought I was all alone. Started making a plan to get money saved up, find a way to get out.... I was so isolated by then and hadn't realized it all along the way, it came by such tiny steps..

Then, he was so sorry, he had learned from that and would never ever touch me again. He loved me and realized he could have lost me. We went back into what I now know is called the "honeymoon phase" where it was back to dancing in the rain, walks in the park, days on the beach...

3 weeks later, I found out my daughter was growing inside me. By then, the bruise was fading and he was so loving. It would all be better now. He had learned from his mistake and knew he couldn't do that again.

She was 6 weeks old the next time he got so mean - but still didn't touch me.

Sure, there were lots of control, mean comments, petty arguements.. hurtful words, hitting walls, throwing cups, but I had my fairy tale and when he wasn't angry, it was soooo good.

Then, when she was about 2 1/2, he suddenly turned on me, over nothing - taking a pizza out of the oven, went from kissing me on the neck right before that, next thing I knew he was callling me a f-ing little b---ch and coming straight at me... I've never had someone come at me like that in my whole life. Swinging, screaming cussing... I had my hands out in front of me defensively, he ran into me so hard he pushed me back about a foot into our daughter which I was trying to protect. I didn't know where all the rage came from.

Luckily, I managed to duck at all the right times and he didn't actually hit me. I grabbed our daughter and ran for the door. He got there before me, held it shut and wouldn't let me out. I begged, pleaded, promised to come back when all was cool again.

He finally let it go and I ran with my daughter, threw her in the backseat, said baby do your belts... locked the doors in the backseat with her and frantically climbed through to the driver's seat locked all those doors too.

Slammed it into reverse (thank god keys in my pocket and purse by the door.) Was watching the door the whole way thinking he'd come out with the gun and shoot me. Didn't have anywhere to go, didn't grab anything except her and my purse - didn't know what to do next. Went to the Sheriff's office to tell them what happened... from there I slowly built another life.

At times, I so wanted to return home, to go back to my fairy tale - the good parts, but the knowledge that sooner or later it would happen again and probably worse kept me away. Listening to my daughter scream for daddy not to hurt mommy reinforced why I couldn't go back. There were so many low times where I would have had my support system of friends not surrounded me with love and support. I cannot tell you how much strength it gave me. Two friends in particular (who weren't really friends before all this) would follow me at work saying it's not your fault, you didn't do this, you have to be strong for your daughter... and it helped.

So, after a page of narratives, it's because they love the other person and the relationship fulfills a part of them, when it's good... so when he's angry, you think if you could just make him laugh or do something right, it would go back to the good ... but the bad always is lurking, waiting to come back in... And it's so darn hard to "wake up" from the fairy tale and admit what a fool you have been.

Answer 2

Because chances are he made you believe that you won't make it on your own, you'll loose the kids and definitely the house...
Abused women have low self esteem and depending on circumstances it may just be easier to put up with it all (don't forget the endless apologies, this time he means it...) then face life on your own, or restart your life with nothing. That can be a REALLY scary thought. Or he may threaten to find and hurt her and /or the kids. That threat may be enough to keep her there.

Secondly, it may be a subconscious comfort thing. If that's the scenario the woman grew up in, she often looks for the same traits in her partner. Not purposely, but chances are she'll end up with it. It takes a strong woman to break the cycle. And a strong support network.

Answer 3

adult men will consistently have skill over women people. no remember how useful or doubtless self sufficient women people could become or how generally they bypass out walking or to do palates you basically would be unable to get away that fact. An aggressive, threatening guy to a girl is definitely extremely frightening. maximum killings from kinfolk violence certainly happen while the girl has basically left or is making an attempt to bypass away. If there are teenagers in touch this complicates issues much greater. Calling the police generally gets social centers in touch. instead of assisting the girl and her toddlers locate someplace secure to stay, the youngsters generally get taken into care so as that social centers can income from them. yet another element an abusive guy or woman can do is threaten to wreck the youngsters if their sufferer does not do as informed or make it look like the sufferer is the only abusing the youngsters. Many kinfolk violence sufferers are muslim or Sikh women people from countries like India, Pakistan or Somalia. Their kinfolk could disown them in the event that they divorce their Husband or perhaps worse they could properly be killed in a ill honor killing. i'm additionally exceedingly valuable that abusive people have their 'marvelous' moments too, the place they seem to rather love their better half. Many abusive people additionally decrease their better half off from acquaintances and kinfolk, giving them nowhere to run to in the event that they bypass away the courting. a lot of people have not got families to run to and the area they proportion with their better half is their basically domicile.

Answer 4

The most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship is when she tries to leave. That's when the abuser feels a loss of control and turns to even greater violence in order to regain that feeling of control.
If are trying to leave someone, have a plan and a place to go, and leave while he's at work. Do NOT give him any warning.

Answer 5

There are many different reasons why SOME women stay in abusive relationships. One is that they are truly in love with the abuser. Another reason is maybe they were raised in an abusive relationship. Like their father beat their mother up and they think this is normal. Another is that maybe they like to be controlled. And they could also be afraid that they cannot replace this woosie who like beating up on women and as such they stay in the relationship. Hopefully ANYONE in a relationship like this WAKES UP before it is too late.

Answer 6

Sometimes in abusive relationship, the man can criticise the lady until she truelly believes she cannot do better them him and that she is worthless. Maybe they feel they have no where to go and think it would just be easier if she stayed. Woman can love a man, then have him turn into a monster, but he apologises and says he loves her and only acts that way because he loves her, then the female starts to truelly believe he does love and care for her. And it makes it harder if she has children as she doesnt want to be the one responsible for breaking up their family.

I know you just feel like yelling "What are you doing you stupid woman, just leave him" But in the end, the choice is hers.

Answer 7

i think that when you are in an abusive relationship women are afraid of the man and think thay are going to be hurt worse or even killed if they try to leave but they still may have feelings for this man and not want him to get hurt and i think that the man can sence this and will do everything in his power just to keep her around like theatening to commit suicide. but if you are in an abusive relationship you need to get out ...FAST

Answer 8

They stay because the abuser has pushed down their self esteem so low that they think that they can not do any better than the person that they are with.

Other reasons include: financial reasons and for the children.

Answer 9

becoz women view relationship as a big part of her life ... n hence its hard to let go ....hoping that all will change for the better , hoping that mayhaps its just once in a blue moon thing that such abusive behaviour occurs , hopiing always hoping n forgiving just becoz the abuser apologise ...

Answer 10

well i have a friend of mine we have been friends for many years she is only 21 and she is in a abusive realtionship why i have no idea i have fought for her i have fought her boyfriend and i have tried to get her to realize this is not good, i think she stays with him cuz she has low self esteem and she has no self cofidence and no self worth and she just dosent feel good about hrself she allows him to take a little of her self respect away each time he puts a hand on her or calls her out her name i tthink thats why many people stay....

Answer 11

women are emotional and they treasured relationship alot. they can be many factors on why they stay on, either they are just simply so used to it, or they had children or they have no financial ability, or they had been too abused till they do not know what to do or who to turn for help? My mother was one victim of an abused marriage, but because of her 3 children, she struggled on to survived his alcoholic, absuive and jobless husband. she endured this for 20 odd years until finally, after we are grown up and we wanted her to get a divorce. she plucked up her courage, at age 58,dump that jerk. it might be common in western country but not in asia whereby women at that time are more conservative. I had friends who had abusive husband and funny its usually after marriage then they turn abusive but i advised them to get out and also use my mum's example to encourage them. TO women who are facing this suitation, Please be brave and step out of this, we are all humans, nobody should be abused by anybody. Love is not everyting in this world. But love is also the thing to blind us women. Let's pray for women who are suffering now and cheers to those who had gotta out of it.... God bless...