why do ppl stay in relationships/marriages that are empty and admittedly feel "stuck" and "settled"..only because they like being in a "relationship" and don't like the dating scene...my thought is if there is nothing there...why stay. your thoughts ???
2007-03-03 22:22:47 · 28 answers · asked by susan c 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I honestly think people "hope" things will get better. Something will come along and that "love" they once felt will come back again. You know, I experienced this in my marriage a few years back. I wanted out so badly, but at the same time I was scared of losing my "security". I think that is a big part of why people do this. Even though they are miserable...this is all they have known for how long? Trying to imagine life outside of this, no matter how much happier they might be, is difficult!! So they cling on to this relationship and just wait for something to give. Sometimes it does and things turn around.
In my marriage it became a situation where we literally had to get away. We had to have the time away from the kids to feel that "romantic honeymoon feeling" again, a chance to fall back in love. It was one hell of a fight, but worth every second of it. So in my case, it was worth hanging on to that empty relationship...because in time it became completely fulfilling again.
2007-03-11 17:30:29 · answer #1 · answered by Angels 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think sometimes people stay because of the fear of the unknown. Especially when they are in a relationship for a very long time. They don't know what is out there in the dating scene and they haven't had to deal with it for so long. Plus, even though they aren't completely happy, they know what is at home.
I hate to admit it, but that is why I stayed in a unhappy situation for so long. After a 7 1/2 year relationship that was not all that great, I finally left a year ago and things are much better and I have no regrets.
2007-03-04 07:07:02 · answer #2 · answered by You Don't Know Me! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can honestly say I don't know. I have a few friends in marital predicaments and they stay, God knows why, and I don't think they know either sometimes. I think some people feel that if you have someone you are safe and it doesn't matter how horrible they are because the alternative is even more worse. I also see some of my friends who I think have "settled" think they have a great partner, whereas I would have killed that person long ago. I guess it is easy to pick apart relationships on the outside because honestly no one knows what happens between a man and a wife behind closed doors other than themselves.
2007-03-11 00:06:50 · answer #3 · answered by Rhode Island Red 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe they feel that they can't do any better. or another way to look at it is that maybe some people just have been hurt so much in prior relationships they might just be tired and would rather stay in the mess that they are in after all they are "familiar" with the current relationship and they know what to expect from it. and it might just be easier when neither one of them cares about the relationship then actually there are no stakes. the bills are paid and they have a roof and food so what more could they want. sad to be that way
2007-03-11 13:15:01 · answer #4 · answered by cuRiOuS 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do we as a people feel we have to be "fulfilled" all the time? Do you really think that after 10-15 years your relationship doesn't mellow? If you think your gonna be as passionate in a relationship after a few years as you were in the beginning, you're setting yourself up for failure. Relationships grown and mature as you do. Do you still do the same things you did when you were younger? No, and as you grown and change, so should your relationships.
Marriage is SUPPOSED TO BE TIL DEATH. Not bored to death. It is a working, living, growing, changing thing. Everone wants instant gratifcation nowadays. Some things need to be worked at to make them succeed.
2007-03-04 07:24:27 · answer #5 · answered by Ann S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think people stay in bad relationships because they are afraid taht no-one else will have them. Its easier to sit and complain about how bad life is then get up and change it. If a relationship is not working, you are to blame too and your are at least 50% of the problem. It takes hard work and many people are not prepared to do this work beacuse basically they are incapable of being honest with themselves.
2007-03-12 02:45:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you described me. All the answers are right. Plus, for me, it's gratitude. She saw me through a really rough time. I'm the one that changed, tremendously. I'm not the person she married years ago. And then there's being cut-off for the past few years. Then there is respect. Then there is a lack of emotional and physical intimacy (for me). Then I talk her into counseling. Then nothing changed. Now we're back to gratitude, we don't fight, don't dislike one another, have a kid, just live in the same house. But there is still something there.
2007-03-10 00:41:47 · answer #7 · answered by WILLIAM W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many people mistaken that "stuck" or "settled" feeling for insecurity, or lack of self esteem, and use the excuse they do not like to date, they need to build the self confidence and start admitting that Life is too short and precious to waste with a feeling of emptiness.
2007-03-04 07:07:45 · answer #8 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While i agree with you, everyone has a different out look on the subject. Maybe it is the slight chance that there is something there keeps us goings or maybe it is the stubborn drive that wont let us fail in something we could have, at one point, sworn that death would be the only thing to separate us.
That is not how i feel how ever, I do not feel that strongly for anyone.
2007-03-12 00:16:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever heard of the expression, "I know what I got, but don't know what I will get" So if it is a comfortable relationship, and it is just that the passion is not there anymore. It is better to stay in the marraige/relationship.
2007-03-10 18:15:31 · answer #10 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋