Been married for over 3 years and my wife seems to have lost interest in me? I consider myself to be an average guy. I do most of the house work and have tried chucking money at the problem by buying her a new home but nothings working. The hardest part is trying to accept its me and theres nothing i can do?
2007-03-03 22:20:23 · 20 answers · asked by idai 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've tried talking and our sex life is rapidly going down the slippery slope ie once a week, twice a month, none. I feel there may be someone else but i'm not 100 percent sure.
2007-03-03 22:48:18 · update #1
I felt sad when I read the part where you say the hardest part
is trying to accept it's you. Why are you blaming yourself?
I do know through experience that there are woman out there
that are never satisfied with their lot.
You have bought her a new home. You help around the
house and give her money. How is your sex life? If that
is lacking you need to seriously talk.
If you don,t sit her down and try to sort out hers and your
feelings you will drive a wedge between you. Until one day
you will just give up on each other. That is when one or the
other starts having an affair. Just because they want some
fun, and something is lacking in their own marriage.
You could try going to Relate - ask your wife if she would
be interested. They will help you sort your feelings out for
each other. You do not want to waste any more time on this.
Strike while the irons hot. Sit her down today and whether
she likes it or not tell her how you feel.
As I said there are woman who are never satisfied - do you
want to go on forever trying to please her? I'm wishing
you the very best of luck.
2007-03-03 22:34:32 · answer #1 · answered by Minxy 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
That's a very common problem. People get too complacent in marriage. Try a mini-vacation. Take her somewhere special for a few days. Try massages. I don't mean rubbing her back, I mean learning how to give GREAT massages. There's a book called, "The Complete Book of Massage by Clare Maxwell-Hudson". It illustrates how to do it for every part of the body. When I do it with my wife, we always end up 'doing it' afterwords. Sometimes, she cant wait until then.
But the most important thing to remember is to focus entirely on her. Learn exactly what she wants and give her 200%.
2007-03-03 22:53:24 · answer #2 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I believed you and your wife have passed through the "honeymoon" period where you all as a couple were so lovely.. I don't think your wife seems to have lost interest in you. Maybe you should bring your wife back to the restaurant where you all had your first date? Bring her to a beach, hug her and watch sunset together? Refresh those precious memories you all spend together? I guess you guys must have had a busy lifestyle. Going for a holiday would be good too!
2007-03-03 22:28:16 · answer #3 · answered by Nameless 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In life in general, and particularly in a marriage it is essential to understand NOT to worry about things that you cannot control. From your brief description you seem like a pretty decent guy, so it might be something with your spouse that's the matter. Has she had some major changes in her life recently? Lost a job? Promotion? Menopause? On the other hand, it's extremely important to always keep your relationship fresh and exciting. It has nothing to do with material things (eg. buying a new home) but rather with a sense of humor and simply paying attention and compliments to your loved one. Best of luck to you!!!
2007-03-03 22:33:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Firstly money doesn't buy love so stop spending. Have you been showing your wife some loving attention. Do you tell her she looks lovely? These words are better than money, put your arms around her and romance her.
I doubt she is having an affair, have you tried talking to her about your worries ? (I wouldn't accuse her of having an affair though). Ask her if there is anything bothering her and listen to her reply even if it hurts your feelings.
I hope you can sort your problems out.
2007-03-04 00:52:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
maybe your being too nice....or trying too much....
trying backing off a little bit, & you start having a bit of fun yourself so you start having that glow of happiness which attacts the ladies! ; ) while she see's you having fun I'm sure she will want to join in on the fun, Do something different,change you rountines, spice up your life, she might be bored of you being a little lap dog... try some of these before you spice up the bed room activities ; ) Be a man (treat them mean keep them keen)
GOOD LUCK!!!
If you think there might be someone else you need to talk to her, tell her how your feeling, if she has any respect for you then you'll find out what's going on, even writting her a letter so she has it in writting so she can sit with that & understand how upset your getting. I hope you sort things out, as every deserves to be happy.
2007-03-03 22:45:53 · answer #6 · answered by Toby G* 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are probably some underlying issues going on with the pair of you. You should see a marriage counselor or go on Dr. Phil to get help, but I would say just try to be more romantic and treat her with the utmost respect. Also, if you are not as attractive as you were when you first married, maybe it's time to care more about your appearance.
2007-03-03 22:27:52 · answer #7 · answered by Stormy 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you want to get the spark back the stick a firecracker up your
A S S and light it because right now it sounds like the only thing up there is your head.
2007-03-04 01:39:30 · answer #8 · answered by Bobby B 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Book a short trip away from the out side world at a secluded cottage where its just you two and see how that goes.
2007-03-04 04:21:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
your question is wide open there,,,do you take her out to places that she enjoys to go,,,really listen to what she is saying to you,,ask her what she is missing that was there at one time,,,there is lots you can do to try and save what you have there,,marrage isnt all ways a bed of roses,,you will have ups and downs,,i know i was married for 30 years,,,i wish i could go back to the 3 year mark,,,but he passed away so please let her know you love her with all your heart and soul each day and every day,,just really listen to her,,
2007-03-03 22:30:38 · answer #10 · answered by vera e 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋