The sunny sites of spring appearing, Daffodils opening, pansies smiling. Then suddenly sun turns to rain in my brain, the pain is insane, the river slowly shrivels up into mud, then the sudden down pour of my lonely heart turns to a flood! and covers my long lost luv!
2007-03-03 21:35:56 · 14 answers · asked by Katja ie tattybow 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
Please read my other poems!
2007-03-03 21:55:17 · update #1
I was inspired by where i wnet out with my boyfriend yesterday!!
Im 13
2007-03-03 22:16:08 · update #2
I love it as prose. You are talented, but as poetry it lacks:
1. The meter.
2. The rhythm.
3. The Rhyme.
Carry on!
2007-03-03 21:55:39 · answer #1 · answered by Aadel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are as pretty as your poem, your parents better have a big frontyard for that long line of boys who are going to be standing there -- rain or shine -- when you are 16!
2007-03-10 04:45:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anpadh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try laying it out better. The rhyme was a little strange, but the words were really effective and would so make my teacher cry!!
2007-03-04 00:53:49 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep it up and don't mind other people carping about metre and scanning and such. If you are happy to express yourself, then keep doing it. Best of luck..
2007-03-03 22:37:20 · answer #4 · answered by checkmate 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is the best poem that I have read on Yahoo Answer to date. Keep writing poetry; it is you calling.
2007-03-03 21:53:16 · answer #5 · answered by Bud#21 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ooo very good! I like, have you written many more like that then?
Emotion is always very good grounds for writing poetry.
2007-03-06 23:45:47 · answer #6 · answered by andri_uk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awwww,very nice.
2007-03-03 22:09:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
pretty good, youre still young trust me you will get better
2007-03-04 03:43:44 · answer #8 · answered by love_fool 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a thumbs up to you girl!
2007-03-09 22:25:23 · answer #9 · answered by tachabei 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its pretty good. i like your use of personification.
2007-03-04 12:29:24 · answer #10 · answered by jTb<3 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋