Husband not interested in sex?

Question

I'm 27 weeks pregnant and starting to feel really really insecure. My husband just isnt interested in sex (with me at least). Dont get me wrong he's a lovely guy and I know he loves me very much but I cant help feeling unwanted. I dont know what to do, I've tried talking to him, with no success. But I'm worried about how badly this is affecting me (I've suffered depression in the past and dont want to again... especially not whilst pregnant). Has anyone else been through this? I just feel really low and need some kinda reassurance I guess.

Any advice is welocme
Thanks

Thanks. I dont think he's affraid of hurting the baby as he was fine up until the bump started getting really big.

to the first response....I'm not worried about keeping him happy in bed, he's the one that isnt interested at all.

Answer 1

Even though he was okay with sex towards the beginning of your pregnancy, doesn't mean he's NOT scared of hurting the baby now. You actually look pregnant now, so the fact that you are isn't something so easily forgotten. It's highly possible that he's scared of hurting YOU or the BABY. That's what my husband said when we had our first. He was scared of hurting ME.

Second, there's the chance that his labido has just deminshed for now. Perhaps he'd rather do something else romantic? Stick it out. There's not much you can do about the sex part. As far as your self image....there's nothing in this world that's more selfless as giving up your body for 9 months! You're doing a wonderfu thing!

Answer 2

This is how he has always been with you, but you made the choice to stay with him. It's not true when he says "most people are like this." That's just his way of deflecting the problem. Although some people may suggest he's cheating or even gay, there's also a possibility that he really has a low sex drive. Many men love to have sex, but there are some nuts and berries that simply don't. Does he watch porn? Does he masturbate? You need to know if his sexual energy is being directed elsewhere or if he simply doesn't have any. Does he take any types of medications such as anti-depressants? There are many things that can contribute to a low sex drive, even stress. Find out the "why" part of it first. He can at least try to please you other ways as well, you guys need to talk about what your needs are and come up with what he's willing to do to contribute.

Answer 3

Men need sex. But they are attracted to what they are attracted to. If your husband is turned off by a woman with a larger stomach, and you become such a woman due to pregnancy, it's unrealistic to ask him to suddenly develope some sort of super power that give him the ability to make his penis erect on command. Despite that, he does love you and love is indeed a superpower. It usually is a slow moving force though so give him some time to get used to you having this 'bump' as you call it. Once he's seen it enough his mind will realize that it's a part of the woman he loves and he will crave you again. Also, you say you have talked to him and had no sucess. Did he give a reason for his lack of lust when you spoke? Because you need to keep talking to him about it until he does. Maybe it's not you at all. Maybe he's just having a bad month. It could be as simple as that. But you need to get him to open up to you. And once the problem is ascertained, you need to both work towards a solution.

Answer 4

Some men just aren't interestd in having sex when there wifes are pregnant..it is not you...there are different reasons why they don't want too. I'll be honest with you when I was pregnant I didn't want sex, my husband did...and my sexual drive was always high before I got pregnant. Our son was wanted but it was me who didn't want it.I just didn't it and I had no reason, the urge/drive was gone for me?? All I can say is take care of yourself!!! Don't push your husband and eventually he will come to you.Alot of the time if a man feels pressured he will back away. Just give it some time. Pregnancy can be an emotional time....but for him too...

Answer 5

Claire, you say that your husband isn't worried about hurting the child, isn't he human, hasn't he got emotions for the child or at least you, who is sharing life with him. Men tend to hide feelings that are sensitive in nature. Every event has different effect on every individual, it may increase your interest and reduce his or vice- versa. Instead of taking it to heart (which will, as you also have agreed, harm the child) try to find the solution.

But the problem is there, as you don't want to feel neglected. I put forward what my friend's wife did as he was overactive in earlier days and suddenly lost the drive when he heard from the doctor that third trimester brings additional responsibilities on both the parents to be (specially because she had two miscarriages), he overnight lost the drive. In fact, in the first week he went out of station, leaving her to the care of my family.

She had a brilliant idea. They used to stand in front of full sized mirror for body watching in earlier days. She used that ploy to make him play with her breasts and made him masturbate in the crack of her hips. After a week, they were back to finger fucke and masturbations, which lasted till the baby arrived. This may not have gone to the extent she may have wanted (I didn't discuss the situation with her) but at least she could reduce the pressure on his mind and get through the position of unwanted feeling she must be having.

What I want to say is do something which he craves and makes him remember the past times. This seems the possible way to me. Hope, it works for you. Good luck.

Answer 6

Sometimes a man gets nervous that sex will harm the baby and they don't want sex anymore once they find out that their wife is pregnant. I would suggest that he go to the Doctor with you the next time you have a check up and then you can ask the Doctor those kind of questions, this may just put his mind at ease. I don't think that it is you, I think that he may be afraid of harming the baby. Check it out and ask him.

Answer 7

Guys are wierd, in that they tend to get scared for both you and the kid toward the end of the whole adventure. He still loves you, and you're still the one that he will stick with, but don't take it personal if he doesn't want to have sex. He's just scared he'll do something to harm you.

Answer 8

i do not understand. how can you be pregnant while your husband is not interested in sex.
anyway, maybe you should sit down with him and tell him how much you love him and how much you care for him and keep praising him. tell him of your predicament and tell him how you really want a third member of the family. if he is the lovely guy you described him as, he should agree with you. if thisdoes not work, you might try wearing more revealing clothes when near him so as to get him in the mood. this options should work. hope this helps you.

Answer 9

I got the same way with both of my pregnancys. The fix that helped me, and it may sound a little weird...but it helped my hubby and me was......Have him take nude pics of you. Do it with a dig camera and print out the pics....put them in his nightstand. My hubby first "did his own t hing" to the pics....which also made me feel better about myself and soon enough he was more interested in experimenting with the "real thing". What your feeling is completely normal. Men are scared to hurt the baby, or scared of what it might feel like inside of you, or maybe even they arn't attracted to you, which is understandable if your hubby normally likes thin women....But the nude pics give him the chance to check you out and see what is Awesome about a prego bod.....bigger boobys etc. haha. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 10

You need to get him to open up to you,It's the only way you are going to resolve this problem.Quite often,Problems in the bedroom are a result from something else happening in your lives.Good luck.