My wife is making me choose between her and my old parents. What should i do? Help me i am broken.?

Question

I had a good job which was cut short by a severe injury i sustained while working. I and my wife and two children(Infants)moved with my parents and started living with them. My wife went to my inlaws for 1 month telling me that she is going for a holiday. Now my wife says that my parents stay in a very small town and there is no future for her there and she wants to move out to the same town and colony as my inlaws. She has consulted lawyers and she knows in my country the custody of the children will go to her. She has given me an ultimatum that either i move and leave my old parents or she will divorce me. She is doing this on the pretext of staying independently away from my parents though we will be in the same town as her parents. Help me. What should i do? The choice between parents and wife and children i hope no man should ever have to make.

Answer 1

dude she will divorce you sooner or latter any way you choose make it as easy on yourself as you can she wouldn't talk to the lawyers unless her mind was already made up

Answer 2

This sounds quite complexed, not a subject to be answered by everyday people. She appears to be controlling and if she loved you, she would not have you choose between her, the children and your parents. I would reccomend you consult an attorney in family and law. Know what your rights are. If there is hope for this marriage, it has to be team work not only you trying to make it happen. She married you for better or worse. Do not let her control you through threats. Sit and discuss options with her but before you do, consult your own attorney so you know where you stand, with....or without her. Dads have right too now a days, not always the mothers get custody. If there is a bonding with you and your children, you can put up a fight....if ending in the court system but know your rights first......then take action. She would have a much harder time alone raising children then with you and she knows this so dont let her get your goat, let her know you're no dummy and want to work it out for the best for everyone involved, not just her alone. Be the man you are, stand up for your children's and your life! Chances are she would not want to be left to raise the children alone. Don't feel threatened, stay wise and strong!

Answer 3

Rama, it sounds like you could really use some good advice. Listen hun, I know you love your parents but sweetie there is a fine line between your parents and your wife that you must never cross. What I mean by that is that it is one thing to honor your mother and father vs. love, honr, cherish, and obey your wife in sickness and in health til death do you part. Honey, I certainly have to agree with you that your wife is being extremely selfish and only looking out for her feelings and not yours. Nor is she looking out for the children's feelings either and that is not good. I think it would be wise of you to swallow your pride, although it may be tough to do seeing as it is your parents you are being forced to give up and go and move with her and the children, for they are your family now and always will be. I think maybe it's time for yiou to cut what apron strings need to be cut and get away from your parents and save your marriage. Sweetie, you never, never put your parents above your wife for any reason. My husband did the same thing to me and she was bipolar, so imagine all the stress and chaos I had to endure all those years. Things happened and now we no longer communicate because I too like her gave my husband the ultimatum of it was either me or her, but not both.(this was after a fist fight she and I had and she called my 2 week old son a spoiled brat.) I totally understand what you are going through because my husband and I have been through something similar and I too have experienced things like that with my parents with him as well. It is totally natural to not get along with one another's in laws. However, I do say she had no logic or reason behind her accusations, therefore that makes her in the wrong and not you. If you love your wife and children as much as you say you do, I surely hope you would go with them and not choose Mom and Dad. Imagine how heartbroken your wife woud be. Please keep the peace and reconsider. Good Luck and God Bless!!!

Answer 4

You idiot, it's not a choice between your parents and your ******* wife, you don't have to stop visiting/talking to your parents, and and it's not like they can't visit/call.

You're feeling sorry for yourself for no goddamn reason, how old ARE you anyway? And what are you, a momma's boy? Do you need your mother around because you are injured? That's what your wife is for, and it's NOT FAIR cooping her up in a small town with your PARENTS!

Would you actually want to live with her parents, a month is a long time to live with people that you don't want to live with.

At least she not asking you to live with her parents, it's okay to move near them you know, you're being selfish if you don't, because she played your little game of living with/near your parents, did she not?

Do you care nothing for your marriage? Or Children? There's two sides to every coin and it sounds to me like you're just bitching because you wanna stay stuck up your mother's ***.

Maybe you do need a divorce, it sounds like she deserves someone better, who is worried about whether her life is or isn't miserable!

Answer 5

The Bible says that when a man marries, he is to leave his parents and "cleave" to his wife.
This says nothing against you in specific, but I have to say that I am seriously SO disappointed in the lack of marital sanctity these days!
I understand that parents are important, but they do not hold a candle to the person with whom you are physically and spiritually unified! The Lord gave you your wife and your children for a purpose (as a blessing), and you're wondering whether you should throw that away in order to live with parents again?
Please sit down, and think clearly about what it is you're proposing. And considering she's one of the best things that's happened to you, please don't let her go so easily. You have the opportunity to make this right with her...

Answer 6

How much do you think your wife really loves and respects you to hold your kids over your head as a bargaining tool to gain what she wants. She`s selfish and disrespectful to you, your parents, and your children .Don`t forget about her lying about going on a holiday. In my opinion your parents come first for they are the only ones who will love you unconditionally and they took you all in when you needed help.She won`t stop at this if you give in and she will have you right where she wants you at all times.Trust me women play alot dirtier than men.I would hate for you to regret hurting your parents and never forgive yourself after they`ve passed on,and resenting your wife over the ultimatium.She should be ashamed of herself.

Answer 7

well your right noone should have to choose between the ones you love but unfortally this kinda thing happens in relashionships more then you think! You have to stop and ask yourself whats important in life! YOU KIDS! nothing worse then growing up with out one of your parents its very mentally harmful to a child, trust me, plus you have t o ask yourself if the love for her is TRUE! If so you go with her and love her and raise your children together but in the same breath you let her know those are your parents and you will still have contact with them,dont tottaly shut your family out,ON the other hand, she is the one you chose for life she is your chosen family!! YOUR kids come 1st though over wife anf parents chose them if noone else!!!!

Answer 8

I feel for you. Maybe you should try to divide your time. Stay the weekdays w/ her and the weekends with your parents. I never knew a person could be so cruel to use the children to get what they wanted. Good Luck with that.

Answer 9

Explain to your wife that she, your kids and your parents are important to you. Let her know that you understand what she's going through. Let her know that your parents are old and there is a need for someone to take care of them. Ultimately, they will have to die. Advise her to be patient. Meanwhile, speak with your parents and let them know that it isn't easy juggling as wife, mother and daughter-in-law (all in one). Tell them to be patient with your wife and to stay out of your wife's way, i.e. the way she cooks, discipline the kids, etc... In the worst case scenario, you may eventually have to move out. When this happens, let your parents know that its no faults of theirs. Let them know that your family need some personal space.

Answer 10

What would Dr. Phil say?

You have responsibilities FIRST and foremost to your wife and your children. They should be #1!

You said it was because of YOUR problems that you moved in with your parents to begin with, so I imagine you had them taking care of you're whole family.....so obviously they are able to take care of themselves!

Answer 11

once you desperate to remarry, despite in case you meant to have extra childrens or no longer, you made a dedication to spend your existence along with her. Do you nonetheless have a dedication on your son with the help of previous marriage? of direction, yet your first priority now, surprisingly with a sparkling born is on your new spouse. i'm ill to my abdomen listening to how lots time human beings placed money into "elect" activities. I had my son in that league for a pair years and could no longer have confidence it. on the tip of all that dedication, he nonetheless did no longer make the extreme-college team, and of the youngsters who made the extreme-college team, one or 2 earned a scholarship to a junior college. the probabilities your toddler will play expert soccer are the comparable as you turning out to be a effective rock musician. besides, I digress. you may desire to have an person communication alongside with your new spouse to be sure what's a functional volume of time you may desire to spend going to practices and video games. in my opinion i think of you may desire to attend no practices and attend one pastime each week. You started out a sparkling existence and a sparkling kinfolk, and additionally you are going to could desire to sacrifice a number of your old existence to make it artwork. in short, you will no longer be able to have your cake and consume it too.