She is a good person but sadly 4 years ago she lost her son and husband 5 months apart and since then she has become bitter to the world and so so NEGATIVE with everyone. I just clash badly with her now and its hurting my relationship with my wife. What do I do, its killing me???
2007-03-03 20:09:45 · 10 answers · asked by eaglewings4101 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Show respect, but quietly ignore her rudeness. Remember that she is your wife's mother. If you make an issue of it, you will get your wife really pissed off. A women is not going to side with anyone, even her husband, when it comes to her mother.
It may be very difficult, but there is nothing you can do, but find a way to live with it, unless you are looking for a divorce.
Think how you would see the world if your wife was killed, and a few months later, your son dies. Hurts, doesn't it?
2007-03-03 20:35:56 · answer #1 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Perhaps she has reason to be negative but nobody enjoys being brought down. Negativity is a form of depression and as we all know, is also contagious. Why not try this when she starts up.....instead of listening to the hohum of her darkest emotions,anger, crying etc....plan an outing. It may take time for her to adjust to this new way of seeing life but in time, stay positive, keep going places like twice a month with her and your wife, fun places, sight seeing and so on.......dont get trapped in the livingroom talking about sad things or unhappiness......go places where other people are there, museums, concerts etc.....and in time, if there is no change, then talk with your wife, ask her what you BOTH can do as a team to remedy this negative syndrome she seems to be handing down to the family.....if you have children, this is not good for them either. As negativity is bad......being positive can also be catching. Have you ever been in a room where someone is laughing and in no time you cant stop laughing? try it.....it may take time but losing loved ones is not an easy thing......so if she sees the living are willing to help, in time, she may come around. You say shes a good person, so if shes as good as you say, shes worth a try!
2007-03-04 04:21:59 · answer #2 · answered by momwhiz3 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know where your coming from. If I could get along with my mother-in-law, then you can too.
Getting along with your wife should have priority over her mother.
Just kill her with kindness. You will be glad you did. Your wife needs her mother and so do your kids need their grandmother.
Just be cool, kind and collected.
It will take everything you can muster up but at least you won't feel guilty for not trying your best.
In life we have to learn to get along with all kinds. You will be a better person for it.
Good luck and love your wife.
2007-03-04 04:24:05 · answer #3 · answered by DeeJay 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her nicely. Show her you care by doing the smallest things like making a cup of coffee for her or making her breakfast or buying her a lovely vase to brighten up her day as well as to improve your relationship with her. All the best and don't forget to pray to God in helping you too =]
2007-03-04 04:13:22 · answer #4 · answered by Clemence 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It takes a very long time to learn how to deal with losses like that. I would probably be bitter too. Give her some time and try to put yourself in her shoes if you can. If you got along with her before you can again.
2007-03-04 04:15:00 · answer #5 · answered by MeanKitty 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
dear! I think in this case you must understand her sitiuation and be more kind to her. she is in a bad part of her life and she needs some time to deal with it.
dont forget your KIND GOD is watching you, how you are dealing with her and will help you more and more as you cant believe in the future difficulties.BE MORE GODLIKE TO HER AND WAIT FOR THE MIRACLES IN YOUR LIFE.
good luck
2007-03-04 05:48:03 · answer #6 · answered by *Grace* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to understand her son died that must hurt terrible losing a child then her husband she is grieving and taking it out on people just be patient
2007-03-07 01:17:32 · answer #7 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay out of her sight as much as possible. encourage her to seek some good companionship away from home.
2007-03-04 04:14:26 · answer #8 · answered by Alag N 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
just tell her to stay away and tell your wife you married her not her mom she will be mad at first but it will sink in
2007-03-04 04:13:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Give her a(nother) grandchild.
2007-03-04 04:12:34 · answer #10 · answered by Debi in LA 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋