very upset.?

Question

Hi all,
I am not coping well at the moment. It all first started when I found out I was not pregnant yesterday. I was very teary all last night trying to take it all in. By this morning I had gotton over it and went out for lunch with my boyfriend and his parents but got home and I had made a decicion I am not going to worry about getting pregnant anymore if it happens it happens. I told this to my boyfriend but i think he took it as I never want to have kids. As I wanted to tell everyone else I dont want kids to stop them from talking to me about the subject. He snaped a little at me and again for the last few hours I have not been able to pick myself up and be happy like I normally am . I feel like I have no energy and I just want to curl up in a ball and lock myself away from the real world. Life doesnt make sence anymore im so confused. And as you all can probly tell this is not a question really. What it is just needing some comfort from peole to let me know it is all ok I guess.

Answer 1

It is all going to be ok. I hope this will cheer you up or at least crack a smile.

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Answer 2

Why would you have a child and not be married to this man?One way to stop your boyfriend from putting pressure on you about the baby thing is to tell him that you would like to make sure that your child has a father and a mother that are married and not just living together. If he is committed enough to get married, then he will probably be committed to hang around and help you raise the child. I would NOT have a child with a man that I am not married to. They can run off and avoid helping you raise and pay for the child. To give a child a good life they need both parents, a strong home foundation, a mother and father that are willing to invest time, effort, and energy into raising them and teaching them all of the things that they will need to learn so they can grow up to be a positive contribution to the community that they live in. Raising children is hard work if you do it right. If you get this upset with him now, things will only get worse when you have children. I would rethink staying with a man that snaps at you when you are feeling upset, or sad. I am also shocked that people would be encouraging you to have a child out of wedlock. That is really irresponsible and stupid. I question the mentality of a parent that would encourage their child to have a child without being married. Who are these people? I get the feeling that they do NOT have your best intrest in mind. You may want to step back from this relationship and take a good strong look at where you are going. Do you have a college degree? Do you have a career? What have you done to secure your future? You are young and have the world a head of you. Don't jump into the baby thing just because of pressure from family and friends. You get yourself a good education so that when YOU decide to have children you can give them a good home and a stable family.

Answer 3

My husband and I tried to conceive from 10-2-1982 through September of the following year with alot of upsets so in September I decided there wouldn't be a baby in our future so we decided to move and buy a new home we found one like instantly we closed the deal 10/7/1983 I had started my period that morning it was a very heavy one with all of the excitement of moving I forgot about my period the first week in dec my husband told me on one Sunday Morning that there was something different about me I had no suspicions He went and got my pregnancy test back then it took 45 min for an answer mine positive showed up in about 15 so even if you give up never quit trying cause it can happen

Answer 4

Don't be so hard on yourself. You're right, the more you stress out about conceiving the less likely it is to happen. Not worrying over getting pregnant is no indication that you don't want kids. But your decision may seem sudden to your BF which is why he reacted as he did. This week, focus on you. Get plenty of sleep and fresh air, have a massage or a facial. Take care of you for once, no need to wait until you're pregnant. Feel better soon.

Answer 5

It sound like he is going through the same emotions you are, but men go through them differently. Try and be patient with each other, because you can help each other through- you both understand better than anyone what each other is going through.

Can I ask you a question? Do you ever babysit? I don't know if that would help you feel better or make you feel worse- but I do know that it's a huge distraction. Take a walk and get some sunshine if you can. I'm a firm believer that sunshine works for people in a similar way that it works for birds. Birds absorb vitamin D3 from the sun's rays. They need it because their bones are hollow, but I think we need it for our moods. It's just a theory, but I do know that it helps me. So does listening to music. Download "Everybody Hurts," and cry for 15 minutes, then turn it off and go take a walk. I hope it helps.

Answer 6

You need to take time to deal with your "loss" your hopes were high and you came down fast and that is a loss. Take a few days to be sad then you will have to put one foot in front of the other and move forward. There are plenty of opportunities to get pregnant...took my mom 5 years to get pregnant with me with no medical assistance. God probably doesn't think its the right time.
If you are still feeling like locking yourself away after 2 days please call your doctor and explain your feelings..they can help either getting you someone to talk to or explaining things more thoroughly. Life is too short to let it pass you by. When the time is right you will know it ...I promise.

Answer 7

Well, first of all, you need to talk to your bf and tell him that you still want to get pregnant but just told everyone that you don't want kids to get them off your back about it. He'll understand once you tell him that you don't want to talk to anyone about it but still want kids very much. You need to be open and honest with your bf or things will start to go horribly wrong. You are right about just letting it happen when it happens. There's no need to stress over it. Just hang in there and things will get better once you talk with him about how you're feeling.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Things will be better. Your time will come to get pregnant. don't hold your life if you aren't getting what you want. You'll be OK and happier than before in the long run. Take care of yourself. No need to get depressed when eventually you'll succeed at what you want.

Answer 9

I think your boyfriend is full of it. its not your faut your happened to not be pregnat! just relax and no that everything happens for a reason. you and your boyfriend need to see a relationship specialist or something becuase how he lashed out you sound like an abusive or the begining of an abusive relationship! be careful and god bless

Answer 10

Que Sera Sera.. Whatever will be, will be. It sounds to me like your boyfriend interpreted what you said wrong and since men get touchy about their spawn too we get irrational and emotional about it. Try talking to him and explaining what you meant. Otherwise, you're right. Eventually it will be alright.
--Jazz