How would you handle talking to a teenager about being sexually active?

Question

It's my step daughter and we have a pretty decent relationship and I would like to keep it that way.

Answer 1

Stay calm and don't make her feel like she's doing something wrong. Let her know that she can trust you, or she won't talk to you again about this stuff. Be honest with her and let her know that she needs to be using protection if she continues to be sexually active. Explain to her what can happen. Pregnancy, std's, aids, etc. Even tho you don't want her to be doing this at such a young age, maybe you should provide her with a condom. This way she'll be prepared when she decides to do it again and doesn't get caught up and do it unprotected.

Talk to her and be honest. Good luck.

Answer 2

I'm a teen, and it's totally embarassing when your parents (or step parents in your case) try to talk about sex stuff. I don't really know how do give you a definite answer, because you haven't mentioned how old your step-daughter is, and whether you have reason to believe that she may be sexually active. But maybe some things to consider are that most teens don't really want to TALK about sex stuff with their parents, but most are usually willing to at least LISTEN while the parent talks. My mum talked to me like that, and it was cool how she didn't really expect me to participate in the discussion. I think you can learn just as much from listening as what you can by actively discussing something.

Also, maybe you could buy her some girls magazines. A lot of my friends and i read those, and most of them usually have a section where people write in and ask questions about sex, love, life etc. If she reads those, she can learn about sexual issues in her own privacy.

But like you said, if you have a decent relationship, maybe just approach her one day and ask her if she has anything she'd like to discuss. If she does, then discuss it. If she doesn't, then maybe you could talk about some of the issues on your mind, and she could just listen.

Hope this helps, good luck!

Lani

Answer 3

Most importantly you should talk this over with her mother, if she is involved in her daughter's life. I admire you for being concerned and I wish every girl had the chance to learn about "the birds and the bees" from a male point of view. I think what works best is if you are blunt yet sincere in what you say. (Depending on her age of course.) When you do talk to her about sex, do so with a plan. You can't just talk about condoms and intercourse without talking about everything that comes with it. AIDS, STD's, rape, crabs, menstruation, ejaculation, inappropriate names for body parts, these are just a few of the things you should discuss. I say this because if you put it on the table first she is less likely to go to her friends for advice, which is ALWAYS a bad idea. If you want to keep her trust, you must be open minded to what she will experience or has already experienced. NEVER under any circumstances can you get too upset if she comes to you concerning life's curve balls. The number one reason children don't confide in their parents is because they know their parents will "flip out". You must also tell her the mind set of some boys and also let her know that she is smart enough to use her head and make smart decisions concerning her body. Build up her confidence and she will realize (with your help of course) that she is worth the wait if a boy is really interested in her.

PUT IN ALL ON THE LINE and you can't go wrong.

Answer 4

That really depends how old she is.

You should make it so that there is contraception available for her, as if she is going to do it then you should at least make sure she is safe.

You shouldn't rely on her to tell you if she becomes active, could you imagine telling your parents about that kind of thing as a teenager?

If she is WAY to young (pretty much 13 or less) for sex, or just plain immature, then you should stop her from dating. Especially being alone with boyfreinds.
If, however, she is old enough for it, and has the means of doing it safely, you should not obstruct her from being alone with boyfriends. It would only make her push you away and do it anyway.

Answer 5

No one ever talked to me about sex, because they were too nervous, as they told me later. Well, when I was 14, I was raped. No, not stachetory or date rape, the real thing. I had no clue that it was wrong, or what the consequences would be, until my doctor told me I was pregnant. I now have a wonderful daughter who I love more than chocolate ice-cream, but it does not always work out so sweetly. Sex too young is the dawn of heartbreak. She may feel wonderful at the moment, but imagine how she will feel when he breaks up with her, she turns up pregnant, she has to tell her parents, her friends all think she is something rotten, her reputation goes to trash, and she has to go in to the doctor to get tested. Not lots of fun. And show her what stretch marks look like. She may not think so right now, but I found out quite quicky who my real friends were when they got to party, and i was being a responsible mother. and tell her that no matter what the other girls say about her being a virgin, she can at any time become like them, and they can never go back to being like her.

Answer 6

Im a teen and I would say is not bring it up (super embarrsing) but make sure you have a open realationship with your step daughter so shes not afraid to ask but remember you proably cant stop her telling her about protection would be most impotant

Answer 7

Just start by saying something like: "Listen... this is probably gonna be as embarrassing for you as it is for me, but I think we need to have 'that' talk..." - be candid about it at first, just to get things rolling, before tackling the serious part of it. You say you have a pretty good relationship with her, so you shouldn't have anything to worry about. Good luck!

Answer 8

I think it is admirable what you are doing and believe more parents should do the same. My husband and I talk openly and honestly together with my kids (they simply are not comfortable talking to their dad or his wife about sex or the changes their bodies are going through). Just talk with her openly and honestly, you may want to talk things over with your spouse beforehand or, if they are really close suggest you all have a discussion together.

Answer 9

Let her know that you are there to listen, not judge. Make sure she knows about condoms, birth control and STD's. Let her know that sex is not just physical, but emotional as well and as her age she may not be ready for sex. Don't accuse her of anything, let her open up and honestly answer any questions she may have, even if they are difficult to answer.

Answer 10

talk to her like an adult about it tell her your opinions and the facts let her know you will always be there for her and make sure she knows all there is to about birth control