Please read... I married my highschool sweetheart we've been married for 10 years and we have two boys together 7&9. We moved to a very remote town in Oregon 5 years ago to manage my husbands fathers cattle ranch. I had a gambling addiction about 3 years ago and it bankrupted our family. Then about 3 months ago I started an affair with a social studies teacher where I work, I work in the cafetera. Well my husband found out and divorced me because I told him that I love my new man. The thing is is that I have no family and get no alimony or child support because we have joint parenting time. What will happen to me if my new relationship fails? Can you predict my future? I'm 30 years old. My husband has a legal contract that I signed that states the children must stay in this school district until 18. So if I move I only see my kids on the weekend. I'm starting to worry
2007-03-03 18:50:46 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
life's choices do carry consequences. wrong desires ruin lives. guess now that u have had time to think about it, it is a real possibility that the new romance could go bad. karma always come back to us, when we have hurt others. if i were u i would make some changes in my life. as we do seem to reap what we sow. plant bad seeds and a bad fruit comes up. as u can't really get anything good from what u have caused for your family. sounds as if u are screwed if the new relationship fails. sounds as if the guilt is now being felt.
2007-03-04 07:56:01 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every contract has holes in it. See a lawyer and see what holes he can find in the contract. If you signed the contract under duress then the contract is null and voild, eg, if your husband put you under pressure to sign then that is grounds to have the contract voided...but you have to prove it....speak to your lawyer. What will happen if your new relationship fails? You will pick yourself up, find whatever strength you have, which I believe you have plenty of because you have certainly shown a lot of strength to do what you have already done....You have overcome a gambling addiction....You have moved to a remote town to make your husband happy. To have an affair in the first place you must have been unhappy, so maybe instead of asking yourself what will happen if your current relationship doesnt work, tell yourself how strong you are and that you will be able to cope with anything. You are stronger than you think, and regardless of what you think now, you are a beautiful strong person in your own right and you dont have to identify yourself by the man in your life. You are a personality in your own right, and if this current relationship doesnt work then you have lots of strength and common sense to draw on. You will do well with whatever happens in your life....simply because you have strength....Your strength will see you through....believe it, but more so, believe in yourself.
You dont need luck...you have all the strength you need...you have proved that......take care.......be kind to yourself.
2007-03-03 19:36:58 · answer #2 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have been worrying BEFORE you had an affair and gambling problem and maybe tried to focus more on your kids and family. I hope you get some counseling and figure out who you are as a person and focus on being a responsible mom first. Then worry about screwing up with the guy you are now with who is no better than you for messing with a married woman.
2007-03-03 18:58:45 · answer #3 · answered by Big Mama 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all dont gamble , I once addicted to it for short time.
if you continue gambling ,it will ruin your new relationship again.I tell you with 100% certainty.
now you dont have money so you cant gamble , but this doomed habbit can occur at any time.
I guess you are kind of pleasure seeker. less sense of responsibility than ordinary wife has.Gambling and having an affair tells it.
but its OK. I dont blame you.But I think to get real pleasure you need to be happy.
now you are worried about your future . ITS not a pleasure at all. It all came from your misbehaviour.
Your ex husband will not accept you anymore , so you d better make solid healthy relationship with your new man.
If its only for pleasure , enjoy it but it will not give you security now you need.
Your future depends on only you . you already learned alot.
dont lose self respect and courage.
about your children , you can consult with local lawyer.
good luck.
2007-03-03 19:14:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not, to be mean but, when you married did you have VOWS? Why should this affair work if you didn't put forth effort for the prior? You are 30 now so you should have figured out to give those kids the best because it only gets worse.
2007-03-03 18:57:08 · answer #5 · answered by thadrizzle2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your NEW RELATIONSHIP IS FINISHED BEFORE IT GOT STARED!
You cheated your family, he cheated because he went and had sex with you against your family and those relationships generally end in a 2 year period, and god help you if you have children by this man because violence against new 1/2 siblings is in the 60% range and more the 20% of those end in death for new siblings all because you could not keep your legs closed!
Your husband could and should on behalf of his children and get full custody because your a cheat, and the courts still look at cheats, like "doge Sh*T" especially scenes you are a a self professed addicted gambler and you destroyed you family, and stole form you kids time that belonged to them by right of you being there mother! Your husband should take both of you to CIVIL COURT and sue you both for inflicting physical harm on him for having unsafe sex with him and could have been exposed to STD,and children AND SUE you for damages "seen it done on four different occasions and cheated SPOUSE'S WON" every time!!!!!
Be glad he's not because if he did you'd and boyfriend loose everything, and the kids because you would have no money to support yourself little lone money to support them!
I have no pity on cheats, you made a choice and now your reaping the the rewards of insecurity's that you did to yourself.
ONE DAY YOUR KIDS ARE GOING TO FIND OUT THE FULL STORY AND HATE YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO THEM!!!!!!
I still hate mother for what she did to use and have not spoken to her since I was 14 years, old I'm 41 now.
She's a "DIRTY HOE" who has no value in my life or my family's lives.
DUMP NEW MAN NOW AND TRY TO BE FRIENDS WITH EX HUSBAND before you end up loosing everything!
I have no pity on cheaters.
2007-03-03 19:25:16 · answer #6 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had better quit messing around and quit gambling and get your life together before you go on another disasterous turn. You have two kids to live for. What happens if you get pregnant Miss no alimony. Grow up and be responsible.
2007-03-03 18:53:57 · answer #7 · answered by demilspencer@yahoo.com 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you in your situation I would most definitely start working towards a future for yourself--not who you're with--but YOU!
Life happens and no one can predict it. But being 30 isn't old and you have plenty of time to make your future stable..for you and your sons.
2007-03-03 18:57:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
what possessed you to screw up your perfect life?
2007-03-03 18:56:04 · answer #9 · answered by serendipity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋