his family are bossy and my husband's behavior is completely such a momy boy.He felt that without them he can't have a ideal life ,I am satistied if he himself has a close communication with them but let me have my freedom to choose.
after 12 years ,he can't understsnd that he have made another family .his kindness to me has totally related on my behaviour with his family .what's your honest idea?
2007-03-03 18:03:24 · 23 answers · asked by bookshopfish 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you did'nt marry his family, you married him, he is a little boy still wanting to please mommie, give him a divorce, he sounds like a jerk
2007-03-03 18:06:40 · answer #1 · answered by kathleen h 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you hate his family that much get the divorce!
Look, how much sacrifice does your husband make for you? does he go to your family functions? Marriage is a two way situation. Give and take, take and give you gotta support him A LITTLE BIT! I mean I hope you at least spend Christmas with them. It's what a few hours out of the YEAR!
You don't have to like it. Toss back a few shots, smile and cope. And when they start with the BOSSY attitude, don't stand for it... tell them to "shove it where the sun don't shine" start a huge family fight and your husband will never ask you to attend another of his family functions again!
On the other hand if he's threatening a divorce, then I say MEET his bluff. See how that goes. But stop stressing out over his cruddy family! trust me life is way to short to worry about petty people. And it's really not good for the kids
2007-03-03 18:21:35 · answer #2 · answered by SecretFriend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I, honestly, sense that it is not a real marriage...if he loved you and cared about you the way a husband is supposed to, he wouldn't base his kindness on your behavior toward someone else. If he treats you this way, imagine how your son will grow up feeling? Think of what is best for him. If you don't think leaving him is an option, then maybe try some counselling first with him.
Explain to him that you dont care if he wants to be with his family, just that you feel uncomfortable around them because _______. Just don't insult them, just simply tell him that they make you feel uncomfortable, and you would rather spend time with your son, and making a good home for him.
Dont stay in a bad relationship though for a child, it only makes it harder on the child, and they grow up with bad ideas as to what a family is supposed to be...
2007-03-03 18:08:34 · answer #3 · answered by twinkles1614 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is an old saying, "you can choose your friends but not your relatives". You chose your husband and along with him came his family. You, as female can now see what men have been going through for decades with "the in laws".
Accept it for what it is and get on with your lives, you know it is there and will not go away.
If you are looking for someone to tell you to divorce him, well on this site you probably will, but in reality that is just the easy option.
Remember that "everything in the universe is as it should be" and whatever you decide to do will be right!
2007-03-03 18:13:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband doesn't force me to do anything and if he threatened me with anything I'd kick him!
A marriage is a partnership and as such you have to be open and accepting, that goes for your husband too! Fair enuf he wants his family involved but he married you and has made a new family unit, if he can't understand that I say let his mum have him back!
2007-03-03 18:10:15 · answer #5 · answered by Andromeda Newton™ 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you are his family, not through birth but because he chose to marry you till death do you part, Explain to him the trouble that is being caused by his behaviour, tell him that you have come to the end of the line, it is you or them, just because you are his wife does not mean that you are not a person in your own right. I f your marriage is good in very oher way, tell him that he will have to agree to differ on this one subject. Hope you sort it.
2007-03-03 18:15:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't understand why you should feel "forced", you should want to have a relationship with his family. After all, that is the family he came from. Perhaps you are just being so selfish, you can't see the benefits...
2007-03-04 01:43:29 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As his wife, you have an obligation to be cordial to his family members--nothing more. As your husband, he has an obligation to put you first in his life. If he doesn't do that, you need to get out of the marriage, whether you have a son or not.
2007-03-03 18:20:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, does he have a relationship with your family?...If he does, and its a good one, then for the sake of the marriage, you should at least try...If he doesn't get along with your family either, then it would be very hard and very naive to think that a marriage can survive when neither spouse can get along with the inlaws...
2007-03-03 18:08:12 · answer #9 · answered by Terry C. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
family is everything, if i didnt have my mum i dont know what id do. my husband doesnt exeactly like her but he tries for my sake.so if you can just be polite around them and that way you keep the piece between you and your husband. if you dont have to live with them and only have to put up with them for a few hours every week or month its a small price to pay for your happiness.
2007-03-03 18:07:57 · answer #10 · answered by jenperera 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage is about a partnership, give and take, and respecting the other, it doesnt sound like your husband puts you first. you have your own mind, i honestly would not let myself be forced into doing what i didnt want, you are not a doormat, if hes giving you this ultimatum, say to him, if thats all our marriage means to you that you control what i do and give stupid ultimatums, then maybe we dont have a marriage, it sounds like youre unhappy, what life is that for you? good luck, and be firm
2007-03-03 21:03:17 · answer #11 · answered by chakra girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋