What should I do-sister in law is telling husband I'm talking about her behind her back.?

Question

I work with her and she carpools with a secretary who is Ms. gossip herself. Sister in law has put so many lies in my husbands head that he moved to his mom's because he says "I love you BUT she's my sister". I never had any problems with her for 5 years then I lost 120#, bought a new house etc and now it's like I'm her worst nightmare. I forgot to say I asked a shrink friend and he told me the family is trailer trash and if he couldn't see thru this it was his problem BUT I love him.

Answer 1

When you marry someone, it means the strings of dependence on family is cut. Sure, love your family, but love your wife more. He needs to understand, its not his sister he is going to grow old with, its you. He needs to show a bit more loyalty to you. He is totally disrespecting you as his wife. He is in the wrong here....dont take any responsibility for his lack of loyalty. Stand your ground....tell him to stay at his mothers if he cannot place you above them. Maybe turn the tables on him, maybe spend more time with your family and when he is feeling neglected you could say to him...."I love you, but hey, they are my family"....see how hurt he feels. Maybe you need to go as far as to have it out with his sister....expose her for the liar she is. Its not fair she is influencing your marriage the way she is but its even worse that your husband is taking her side. I wouldnt be feeling sorry for myself, I would be getting as angry as hell with my husband for disrespecting me. Let him stay at his mothers, make him understand what its like to go to bed alone, make him be responsible for the choices he has made....make him understand that he either respects you as his wife or he can stay at his mothers for good. I wouldnt be putting up with his crap. Be strong, dont back down because you are in the right.

Answer 2

I would get them an the same room. An tell your sister-law in front of your husband that you have not been doing any of the things that she is saying put it all out on the line. I know you love your husband! But then I would turn to him an say I love you more then anything an I really don't think you beleave that I would do any-thing like what she is saying. But if you can not stand by me on this then I hope you an your sister will be happy togather!! I know this will be hard for you but if he really does love you he will soon see the light. I also would not take any of his calls for about a week or two. You need to show him you mean every word of what you said. Good luck.

Answer 3

Ok, your "therapist" friend isn't a therapist or a good one to say the least, so don't listen to her. She's simply bashing your family and that's not what a therapist does. You know what you need to do? You need to tell your husband that he can either stand by his wife, or he can please his family. He needs to grow a pair and start sticking up to them instead of running to them whenever his sister tells him some bs. I hope you don't talk badly about your husband around his sister. From now on, do not say anything about your relationship with him to his sister, co workers, or any of his family. This why all of the drama started. You have to keep your mouth shut to avoid drama. His sister will eventually realize what a immature brat she's being and grow up. My husband and I learned that we keep our mouths shut around our parents about our relationship and we are much better off. When we argue, I never tell my mom or anyone. It gives them a negative view about my husband, and causes resentment. They are hearing one side of the story and it's not fair to your spouse. Keep your mouth shut and don't have anything to do with his sister.

Answer 4

well, if the guy can't even take your word for it or at least listen to your side of the story, maybe he's not worth keeping. there is nothing that you can do about the sister. you just need to work on your husband. who cares even if you were talking behind her back. you are both grown adults and the last time i checked it was still legal to talk crap about other people. talk to your husband about it.

Answer 5

I can't believe a shrink told you someone is trailer trash. I don't know what to tell you because I think there's more than meets the eye here.

Answer 6

Wow I think she's jealous....

U need to tell your husband to move back and choose your side if not than I love you won't cut it she maybe his sister but you my dear are his wife also just ignore everything she said Ask your husband if he believes and trusts you.....If that doesn't work move to a new job city away from them.

Answer 7

You should confront her infront of your husband. I understand your hubby is trying to defend his sister, but you married him NOT his family. You should be his main priority right now. Maybe his sister is jealous of your relationship or something. Your husband is wrong for leaving and stating he loves you but that is his sister, he should be defending your honor.