why can't i let out my emotions??

Question

it seems like on the outside, im always smiling and crap, but i don't know how to actually let out my emotions, they're stuck inside of me because of something that happened a while back and i was devastated, now i can't even be serious, i want to be how i used to be! how can i cry and let everything out? and when i try i don't know what to say, its as if my emotions are just locked up with a thousand chains. Someone please, help.

Answer 1

You need to talk to someone, anyone, who you feel comfortable opening up to. If you want to let it out, you need to pour it out onto someone else. It won't work if you're alone.

Answer 2

Crying is actually an act that acknowledges something that has taken place. To not cry means that a) you have not acknowledged that which has happened or b) you have acknowledged it and moved on.

The pattern goes like this: Not crying, Accept, Cry, Move on, Not crying.

Acceptance of bad things is different for each person because each person accepts different aspects of it (some can't accept that it happened, others cant accept that it stopped and still others cant accept that they can/have to move on.)

Holding onto an emotion is actually one way of holding onto the person the emotion is about. Depending upon the situation, some people can't let that person go, so they keep them locked up, afraid they will get out.

First thing, you have to find out why the person who devastated you is locked up: why are you keeping them inside you? What purpose do they serve?

As for being who you used to be, perhaps that is part of why you can't cry: what has happened has really changed you in some way and you are afraid of what to do now? Maybe you can't be as innocent as you were before the incident, so now you are afraid of how to see the world now.

I don't want to try and place too many ideas in your head, or make you think I am 'forcing' you to do something. Part of the path of acceptance is accepting the path you the individual take to getting to it. No one can or should force you to 'accept' before you are ready, and right now it could be that you are trying to force yourself, which could be making you hold onto those chains tighter, or even add more onto them.

I have a problem that I am having trouble dealing with, but my problem has a timetable to it, so that anytime I feel anxious about it, I simply remember that its not something I have to give up right this minute. I tried doing that, and it only made me hold onto the person tighter.

The tears WILL come; all you have to do is to stop waiting for them (easier said than done, I know.)

Answer 3

Hey, I understand. Well, I lost one of my closest friends just shy of two years ago and I am still dealing with it. It took 9 months for me to be able to cry about it, and I mean really cry. Until then, I'd cried a little, but those tears weren't really serious tears of grief. What triggered it was that I'd been to visit his wife, daughter and mother-in-law for a week over the holidays and she had given me a coat of his. I wore it home and when I went to put it in my closet, I finally, really cried. What I am saying is that it may take some time for you to be able to deal with your feelings, so give yourself time. (I've never gone through anything like this before, so it is all new to me, and everyone deals with it differently.) Not knowing what happened, it may not be as devastating, or it may be, to you, just as devastating, in a different way. Your reaction may be a result of not wanting the world to know just how much it has hurt you and you are more than likely afraid of experiencing the feelings you will experience once you do let everything out. You may be afraid that once you start crying, you will not be able to stop. Try talking to the best ear there is--God. He listens better than anyone I know and He understands better than anyone I know. He can help you to sort it out and to let it out. He's been there for me, always, and He's the best. God bless you and I will pray for you.

Answer 4

It is unhealthy for you to keep all of these things inside. People who do so wind up having breakdowns, or exploding--and doing something to harm someone.

If you have a trusted friend or relative to talk to--start talking. Otherwise, get the phone number of the free/sliding scale mental health clinic in your area, and let it all out to a therapist--that's what they're there for.

I wish you well :)

Answer 5

Sit down with someone you know, love, and trust. Then let it all out.
Forget about the past, and stop thinking about it. That's all I can say.

Answer 6

go out and relax, go on vacation, see places, do what you like to do, play well, do rigorous exercises if possible, do regular jogging or running. you will be back to normal.