My hubby has this problem..he uses ridiculous amounts ofdishes daily,leaves them in bedroomsand all over kitchen(along with themess from whatever he fixed),leaves clothes where he took them off,leaves papers and phonebooks on the floor,he's the epitomy of a slob!..Comes home from work and complains that the house looks the way HE left it!..He doesn't seem to understand why I don't mind picking up after our toddlers costantly,but am bothered by his filthy habits.What's his problem?What to do?
2007-03-03 16:11:14 · 16 answers · asked by Direktor 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hemakes 3 times the mess the kids do! A grown man shouldnot be this messy,married or not.I'm his wife not his mother!
2007-03-03 16:16:53 · update #1
I fix all three meals and two snacks during the day..he eats all the time! He does things like use three glasses for the same drink,use two plates for one hotdog(he can't eat it on the plate he zapped it in cause it's greasy now!),leaves candy/little debbie wraps all over house...stuff like that.
2007-03-03 16:43:20 · update #2
Do you stay at home all day? If you do, clean for the whole family and he has a right to complain if you do nothing!
2007-03-03 16:13:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I imagine he’s always been a slob, and you knew this before you married him. The chances of him changing now are extremely slim, and he’s sure not going to change unless HE wants to do it.
And as far as why you expects YOU to clean up after him…are you a stay-at-home Mom? If so, that’s why. In HIS mind, cleaning the house is your job, regardless of where the mess came from. I’m certainly not saying he’s right (because I’m pretty sure when God put you on this earth, He had more in mind for you than spending your life being some man’s personal servant), but that’s probably why he thinks that way.
2007-03-04 00:40:38 · answer #2 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are both to blame. You never drew the line on his being a slob, and now you have toddlers and things are out of control and you are both angry about it. You won't solve it through angry exhortations. He definitely has bad habits, but it also sounds like he is fixing his own meals, and just maybe he is acting out on the dishes due to that? I presume he has a full time job which consumes 10 hrs of his day away from his house. You guys have to sit down, and you have to explain that even though you have the privilege of being a stay at home mom, that it is a lot of work and he has to at least pick up after himself for starters. You guys then need to compromise on who does what, so that both of you are getting a fair shake. Each of you needs to listen to the other, repeat and validate the others feelings, think about it then both offer a compromise solution. Then write it down, what each of you offers to do. He may have some gripes too. Each of you is human and even though you both agree, there will be slipups and you each will have to remind each other in a fair friendly way to please help out and do better.
2007-03-04 00:32:04 · answer #3 · answered by r1q7d2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a messy husband. I leave crap laying around everywhere.. yet I also hate clutter. You need to lay down the law. You need to point out that he's a slob, and that if he doesn't start pulling his weight by doing very small things (it's always the small things that add up), then it's going to put a strain on your marriage..
Dirty clothes belong in a hamper. If you don't own one, buy one. Dirty dishes belong in the sink or dishwasher. It's simple. You tell him that if he just follows through, life will be much more organized, and your relationship will be happier.. clutter sucks hard, and it can totally drain you emotionally and time wise.
Nag him to death, and don't stop until the slob picks up after himself.
2007-03-04 00:16:31 · answer #4 · answered by answerneil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to him about this and tell him what you have to go through, get him on your side first by telling him how you understand he has to make money for the family and work. But then tell him how you have the kids to take care of and cleaning the house, and it would help alot if he could pick up after himself a little.
2007-03-04 00:14:47 · answer #5 · answered by anwermate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel and ask him nicely to start picking up after himself and say please and do not demand and yell at him about it. If this does not work then take him on the Dr. Phil man camp show and this may help. Good luck to you. His problem is he knows you will do the picking up and cleaning for him and he just does not want to be bothered to do it. He is acting like a toddler and needs to grow up.
2007-03-04 00:27:59 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the world of the man- they all do this mine included it's like they have amnesia that they caused the mess lol, then expect you to have the house spotless cause they think you can easily clean when you're home all day with kids even though in reality you're saving dolly from the toilet, saving kitty from being strangled, making sure nobody lands on their head playing superman off the back of the couch etc
2007-03-04 00:15:23 · answer #7 · answered by Shawna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he's just another toddler. His behavior is ridiculous. I'm guessing that you are a stay-at-home mom and he's doing that to say you should also pick up after him because you don't work a full-time job like he does...but i'm guessing that he doesn't realize what a full-time job it is watching/taking care of your kids all day long. He sounds lazy and annoying. I wouldn't clean his mess up for him. His problem is that he's used to you doing it for him and he doesn't want to have to do anything for himself. He wants you to be his mommy too in that way. He sounds like a nasty slob. I'm sorry...Just tell him no, you're through witch picking up after him and it sets a bag example for the kids too.
2007-03-04 00:16:17 · answer #8 · answered by Jade D. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's part of being married, it's like having another child in the house to clean up after, i understand how hard it is to take care of kids and a hubby, but it's done everyday mothers work come home cook and clean and it never ends
2007-03-04 00:17:43 · answer #9 · answered by kat_luvr2003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop complaining and start training your husband. When I got married the first thing my Father told me was train your husband. Explain to him that he's married now and has to take care of you. If you break down from bending over his dirty socks too many times, he will have to pick up after himself, take care of the kids, take care of you and go to work.
My Mother constantly picks up after my Dad and caters to his every whim and Caprice. But he told me to "Train " my husband. It was hard but I did.
Don't get mad , just be so reasonable it's annoying. He will come to appreciate that you are not the Maid.
2007-03-04 00:24:20 · answer #10 · answered by Tip Top 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get after him to pick up after himself, just like you would the kids. MY daughter is 2 and i make her put her things away, she now loves to do laundry and empty the dishwasher. Tell him to Man up!
2007-03-04 00:20:00 · answer #11 · answered by nfgatcer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋