I need a mans perspective. Married woman looking for some advice?

Question

I had a long time on and off boyfriend who I finally married when I became pregnant. Ive always had hunches he was on the unfaithful side but never had real proof or evidence & he would assure me it either happened when we were "on a break" or that it was just untrue. Recently I discovered some pictures of him and another woman in different embraces, hugs kisses etc. A friend of mine found them online. He has convinced me that they are not recent pictures (they have no dates on them) and that if he is still living there its because he wants to be with me and our toddler. Should I believe him? If he is staying with me and not leaving to be with the woman in te pictures shouldnt that mean he is telling the truth? He does go out pretty often by himself though but its usually work related. He's usually up late at night and sometimes his work takes him out at night. (He is a freelancer) As men do u think he could be lying? why would he stay with me if he is cheating?

I really have no male friends (and nevr really did) that I can trust with this so I woud really appreciate some truth & light on this matter

The pics were up on some slideshow site but its under a screename and there is no further info. Her last log in was rather recent. Its the womans page

Answer 1

Men cheat and stay in their marriage for all sorts of reasons. The question you should be asking yourself is, not why he would stay if he is cheating, but why are you staying with a man you believe to be unfaithful. I think there are too many coincidences for you not to think he is still cheating. It is very easy for a man to go out and cheat and use work as an excuse. You want to believe him, but unfortunately your gut is telling you differently. Maybe you need to sort this out once and for all. You need to stop your confusion by hiring a private detective, or else do your own detective work. Be warned though, if you find he is still cheating then you have to have a plan in mind. You have to be prepared to leave him.....can you do that? Not many men do leave their wives for another woman, even though they may be totally unhappy in the marriage, and if they do leave it is usally because the wife will not put up with his infedility.

I hope for your sake that it isnt true, because you probably love him very much. But love yourself just as much, collect all the pride you posess and find out the truth.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

You really want to believe your husband is faithful, don't you? It's clear in the way you express yourself that in your heart of hearts you're pretty sure that he fools around but you just can't face that probability because you are now dependent on him and you have his child.

This is a really tough spot to be in, but it seems so commonplace and there are a lot of questions like this in "Answers". I'm so sorry for you and the situation you are in.

I think that given your lack of experience with men (you have no other male friends, it would seem), you are going to need some professional coaching. I would find a competent marriage counselor and go there alone and tell that person exactly what you have said here. That person can then guide you on how to get at the truth about your husband. In spite of the other answers here, he very well could be telling you the truth.

However, you also need this counselor to prepare you for the worst should he not be telling you the truth. You need to know what to do and how best to do it in the event that you are dealing with a cheating spouse.

Good luck and God bless.

Answer 4

It is always sad when a marriage breaks for any reason but especially when it is a reason that should have been sorted out before vows were exchanged. Your wife was dishonest by not revealing her infertility if she knew that having a family was important to you. You would not be wrong leaving your marriage if you are truly unhappy. I do think that you should be honest with her and see if there is a chance counseling can resolve the marital issues. It is my personal opinion that an emotional affair is just as wrong as a physical affair. Perhaps you should put the other woman on hold while you sort through your present marriage. If your marriage cannot be saved you can then pursue the other woman with a clear conscience. I wish you the very best and hope that an agreement can be reached that bring happiness and fulfillment to all parties.

Answer 5

wow, lady, this has all the "fixins" of a real problemit looks like if he is with you ..it could be the truth about the older pictures on computer, so why does he still have them there? do you recognise any of his clothes in the pic? or his hair cut style?. it is the little things that can give you some evidence.. also you can get deeper into the computer and find the date when the pics were loaded..
Sooo, that being said, he MIGHT be telling you the truth, which i hope he relly is being honest with you.. this is a big mystery in my view. so i wish you good luck what ever happens.

Answer 6

if you didn't think he was lying you wouldnt have ask the question. If you found pictures of him on line, then it is most likely myspace or something like that. if so is it his site or hers. if its his, then you know the answer. If it is hers, no telling. I am sorry, if you let him go out all the time and keep believing this crap, then you just want to be a victim. Unless you put your foot down it will never stop.

Answer 7

you just got to take precaution
when ever a guy cheats
he will always be a cheater no matter what
but you dont want to let him down by doing so and he isnt
so just watch what you are saying and doing
make him prove to you that all it is is you and your baby no one else
just because he is a freelancer dont mean he can screw with you while you are home with the baby
but just do what you think is best for the both of you
you could try to confront it with him
and comprimise about it
that works as well
wish you luck

Answer 8

Women, you best think again. don't be fooled. you best get the facts straight.
Of course he is going to lie if its true. He has a good thing going with you. why should he give it up. If you are , willing to believe him. then thats your choice.
But i would think twice about it. maybe you should go out sometime ,and see whats going on. You say hes a freelancer, but what is he a freelancer of? think about it.

Answer 9

why ask us if he is lying, your the one who has been with him for a long time, you must know the answer but just don't want to face the truth. the Question is Will you stay with him if it is true? Get MAN Friends!

Answer 10

well you seen the pictures an they say aicture say a 1000 words