I have been interested in this guy for 2.5yrs and he has been interested in me just as long (so he says). We have been hanging out more and more in the past 8 or 9 months but things have been going really slow (relationship wise). Recently, I noticed that he was starting to back off so I approached him about it, he said that he wasn't ready to jump into it the way that I am, and that he isn't ready to have a girlfriend, but in the same sentence told me that if there was any girl he thought about everyday, it is me. I told him I would back off completely and leave whatever happened between us, in the past. He said thats not what he wants at all, but he's just not ready to date me because he wants to get his life together, and i have a couple of kids. (I think thats part of it too) He said he still wants to hang out with me "on occasion". I have backed off but he sends me text messages almost everyday and wants to hang out with me, i dont know what to think of this. Any advice?
2007-03-03 14:41:58 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Unfortunately, I believe the best truthful response to your problem is not flattering for you, nor is it hopeful. I have seen this situation before, and I can personally say from what I've observed, it's probably because he doesn't plan on getting married to you for starters. He doesn't want to help raise someone else's kids. He doesn't have anyone else in his life right now that he can be romantically involved with, so he doesn't necessarily want to leave you. Coming around on occasion seems to me that he just wants to have a more sexual relationship than a romantic relationship. Doesn't really feel concerned for you or your problems, and simply wants to be away from you until he wants to see you, which I gurantee will be so he can try and have sex with you.
My advice is to separate yourself from him, peacefully if possible, and look for someone else that will be willing to eventually accept your family. That I know would be tough but it always is tough, and there's absolutely no getting around that. Just remember you need to do what's best for yourself as well as for your children. I'm sure you are a good parent, but the male figure in their life should be a positive one, and one which would bestow decent morals upon your children. If he has such an unstable life that he can't make up his mind as to being a full-time partner with you, then he's 100% not worth the risk.
Whatever you choose to do, I'm sure you will be alright, good-luck to you. :)
2007-03-03 14:54:45 · answer #1 · answered by Mr Cooper 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
could be several things...but first...PLEASE listen to what he is telling you. The text messages and hanging out don't matter...he is telling you that he doesn't want to have a relationship with you, believe him!!!
2nd- sometimes men back off big time right before/after a big step in a relationship..the best thing that you can do is be patient, don't push or make him feel bad about it (as long as he isn't out and about with other women)
3rd-if you can handle "hanging out" and you want to..then great, but I would not fool around with him at all
Many men send text messages to their friends...and sometimes they call their female friends "sweetie", so even if he is calling you that, that doesn't mean it is privileged just to you....
so honestly, i would back off and wait for him to make the next move....and if he doesn't, then no matter how much it hurts now, atleast you know....good luck! (and if it is becuz of ur kids, then he wouldnt be the right one for you...you come as a package and you deserve to be with someone that wants all of you!!)
2007-03-03 22:50:26 · answer #2 · answered by daisy31 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he does not know what he wants. He is being a typical man. He would not know a good thing if it jumped up and bit him in the tush. If you really want him for more then a friend. Tell me openly and honestly. Just don't use the L word. Say I want you in so much more ways then a friend. And see where it goes.
2007-03-03 22:47:44 · answer #3 · answered by kittymom28 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this man appears to be keeping his options open for a better deal. He likes you, no doubt because he's keeping in touch, however, he's still searching, he's looking around. He's keeping you on hold. So close to a booty call? Aren't you better than that???? Most of us are however? We've all been in this spot and have all had this same question.
Move on. Stay friends, just on your terms, not his. There are better men out there for you.
2007-03-03 22:48:04 · answer #4 · answered by jennifer p 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he just wants a friend instead of a girlfriend. Hang out with him if you want or just move on.
2007-03-03 22:47:43 · answer #5 · answered by heyitsannamaria 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old is he? Don't waste anymore of your time. Move on. he wants a friend and nothing more. Seems like he is hiding something and maybe he doesn't want kids? Tell him...its been real but you won't waste anymore of YOUR time.
2007-03-03 22:46:22 · answer #6 · answered by ladygwen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
id say just move on
2007-03-03 22:47:00 · answer #7 · answered by Beckyy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋