How is my husband mad that I cheated if he cheated before. Arent we equal now?

Question

I forgave him why cant he for give me????? he is the reason I cheated by him being an ***.

Answer 1

it's still damaging to the relatinship (really damaging) to cheat on your husband. it dosen't matter what your husband did in the past, what matters is what you are bringing to the relationship. get a good marriage therapist

Answer 2

If you forgave him, then you would not have cheated just to "get back" at him. If he jumped off a cliff, would you go do it just to say you all are even. Yes he was wrong for cheating on you, and you had a choice to leave or stay and you decided to stay. Therefore, the smart thing you should have done was to work things out and try to have a better relationship instead you made matters worse. By you cheating and he has cheated before, you all will not have trust in one another and the marriage may not last. Honestly, men have a harder time dealing with the fact his significant other cheated on them. So, if you want to save your marriage, you all need to start communicating better, figure out ways to spice up the marriage and maybe consider marriage counseling.

Answer 3

i ought to think of how terrible you sense and that i understand why your feeling the way you do. collectively as you have each and every good to be upset and indignant approximately this, do you rather need to with the aid of away the marriage because of the fact of it? I wouldnt. truthfully this replace into it sluggish in the past, and collectively as you in no way knew the "puzzled" guy he replace into lower back then, i will see how some have faith matters will are available to play now by way of whats happened. the considerable area of bear in suggestions it particularly is that your guy is now not "puzzled". men are particularly undesirable at committing and have been this nevertheless the region, I doubt he'd decide to propose. That suggested, hes replaced specific, and he's in simple terms telling you presently because of the fact he didnt prefer to wreck your emotions then. Thats to not say that its not any much less disappointing now, yet i'm hoping that a minimum of your in a extra perfect place to paintings issues out now after 8years then you in any different case might have been in case you found out while it orginally happened. pay attention, you have have been given great babies and you have pronounced the impressive father and husband he's. you'll be judging him by that and what hes been for the previous 8years and not something past. You wouldnt prefer to hang this over his head inspite of that or supply up all at the same time. Marriage counseling is on your suited interest in case you prefer to end feeling like this and that i surprisingly reccommend which you the two go at the same time. sturdy success.

Answer 4

I'm with all the folks who say, Didn't anyone ever tell you that two wrongs don't make a right? It doesn't even sound like you can say 'I was drunk' or 'I thought I loved him' or whatever your husband's (perhaps piss-poor) excuse may have been: you simply hut him on purpose.

Forgiveness doesn't mean you go out and deliberately hurt him back. If you wanted to stay together and heal, being an adult means you deal with the hurt and talk about it - not go out and dish out some of your own.

Answer 5

Yep, you're equal, although now you probably won't ever be able to trust each other. Obviously you thought he might do it again if you went out just to spite him. If you want to work on your marriage you both have to stop cheating, or agree to an open marriage where you can't get mad at each other for sleeping with other people. Maybe start swinging!

Answer 6

Because two wrongs doesn't make a right...or make things even as you want to call it. He has every right to get mad at you, especially since you forgave him and he is apparently working to earn your trust again.

Why did you go cheat on him? For revenge? To "make him feel how I felt?" Whatever the reason, you were wrong and stupid for stooping so low. You said you forgave him. Why aren't you working to trust your husband again and make your marriage whole again?

Where is your head at? What were you thinking? Since he has atoned and wants to make the marriage work, he has every right to question whether YOU want to make it work.

Answer 7

He is not the reason you cheated. you cheated for your benefit! That's silly to blame him for your infidelities...grow up! I'm not saying he isn't wrong either but don't blame the other person. I'll tell you why he's mad...he's mad cause you were some ones cheap thrill. (nicely put) Men think like that...he;s thinking why should he lay up with you and be married...your not special. If you don't believe me..ask him what he thinks of you. That's if your ready to hear his honest thoughts.

Answer 8

No such thing as being equal when it comes to cheating in a marriage or relationship. My friend's husband cheated on her once and she cheated on him just because he cheated and after 3 years of marriage, they are now divorce. They could no longer trust each other after that. I wish you well and I hope that your cheating and his cheating was well worth it.

Answer 9

No you're not equal. You showed how childish you are by doing the same thing he did. If you really did forgive him, you wouldn't have cheated on him just to provde a point.

Answer 10

If you feel you were justified in doing what you did, then all parties should get over it and move past it....i really only think that when someone cheats on YOU, the only way to make them feel like **** is to do it to them...i am sure your husband has an "excuse" about WHY it was OK for him to cheat and not you, but TOO F---king bad....what's goods for the goose is good for the gander..he needs to get over it!!