Living alone for 1st time.?

Question

Im 33 & recently split from boyfriend & living alone.Ive never lived in my own house on my own b4,always with a partner or family.Im finding it lonely & hard 2 adjust.Any sugestions to stop me geting lonely in the house.I visit my mam & friends & walk the dog during day but stil find it hard when im in the house on my own.Its worse on nights,theres less to do & no1 to talk 2 in house.I cant b out anymore than i am,its not fair t 2 leave my dogs .I do go out but i want 2 feel happier wen im in the house in my own company & not so restless.Yahoo answers helps take my mind of it.

Answer 1

Mostly, it's mind over matter.
Stay tuned into the outside
world, and don't dwell on the
negative.
On holidays and birthdays, find
a way to give of yourself.
Helps a lot.
Best wishes

Answer 2

Hi,

I know what you mean - I've been there in the past. I know it's not easy... I moved out of home when I was 17 and lived in a flat on my own until I was 21. I now live with my fiance and, much as I am independent and strong, there's always something missing when he's away for more than a day or two. Sometimes silence can be deafening, can't it, when you're not used to it?

Have you considered taking up some sort of new hobby that interests you? Or perhaps taking a class or joining a group, that meets once a week? That way you'd have projects, assignments, research, or other activities to take your mind off the emptiness you feel, this would give you something extra to concentrate on while you're at home.

There's nothing wrong with spending time browsing the web, either in my opinion. If visiting Yahoo! Answers helps you, then go for it! God knows I'm on here all the time - I'm an insomniac and this is what I do at 3am to stop me going nuts, when I'm not reading.

I hope this helps you in some way. You're not alone. x

Answer 3

Hi there.

Likeyou I have never ever lived alone. My daughter left for University last year. I found it really really hard. It didn't hit me for 2 months and when it did I felt very lost and alone.

I promise you it does get easier as time goes by. The problem is you have to get out there and it's hard to take that first step.

After a few dark weeks in which time I cried every night when I went to bed, I decided it was time to brush the dust off and get on with it. I had a good think about things. For me the most imporant thing is to plan my week-ends in advance. I joined an online dating site. No luck so far. Only weirdos and geeks. But I tried and am open to meeting a really nice guy. I will keep my options open. At least I am trying.

I have helped my family and close friends out with their children and applied for some voluntary work outside my working hours. Most of my friend are married and with children and busy during Bank Holidays so that is a must, to plan ahead.

A very sweet lady I know lost her husband. Her GP gave her three crucial words of advice. 'You need people'. I totally agree.

Make a list of all the things you could do to help yourself. If you want to meet a guy you could try the internet sites (though be careful!). If you want to meet likeminded women, try something which interests you. know it all sounds very corny but it really is a way of meeting people. I am joining a rambling group where I can take my dog out. Dogs are a great ice breaker.

Don't give up. I promise you it will all get better. It is hard to adjust and I would never undermine that. I value my time alone and value the time when my daughter comes home now. In fact she left today and I cried all the way home. Now a couple of hours later I am fine again. I just hate good-byes.

Take care and all the best. Let us all know how you are getting on. x

Answer 4

like you I am lonely all the time I cannot call on family they are all a fight away but sometimes I feel that makes me the lucky one as I dont get a holiday from the loneliness that only serves to emphasis it.What I do love is picture the alternative the fat slob of a partner sprawled out on the sofa only waking up to moan and yell and order a cuppa or dinner.Also at least when the walls are shabby and I have to decorate its because theres no one else to do it not because the blob you could really do with a hand from has once again taken over the sofa.Well hun once you've had 10 mins of those kind of reminiscences You ll suddenly feel that peace is restored and silence is such a beautiful sound haha xxx

Answer 5

I'm feeling your pain right now. I've never been on my own for more then 3 days but now my husband is in Iraq. I usually keep busy. Nights are lonely for me too, really lonely cuz I don't even have pets. What I usually do is find a hobby to do at home. I paint, draw, and make scrapbook pages. As for the sleeping alone part I usually leave the tv on so its not so quiet and I sleep with a really big stuffed animal so its like someone else is there with me. It works for me, I hope you cope a lil better soon.

Answer 6

Your goals may have ended up revolving around meeting the needs of your former partner, and therefore have put your own needs and goals way out of mind.

It's time to look at the five areas of 'your' life and think about what 'you' want from each.

Domestic - be selfish and have it exactly the way you have always wanted it. Colours, fabricks, furniture - change your room around. It's yours, not his.

Career - realise just what you have put on hold while servising that relationship! Aim to progress through education - learn things that move you on and put you in good stead.

Social - sometimes a split needs a social clearout! Support networks are important and close confiding individuals can be counted as less than five. Social is meeting others, no strings, stress free. Always best as in learning something rather than just passing time. Either way it has to be enjoyable. An activity is always the best vehicle to meeting others.

Financial - Learn to budget and live within your means no matter how much, or little, you have.
Control your money and you can better manage the other areas in your life, and feel better about it.

Self - like youself once more. If I asked others what your three best points are, what would they tell me? Concentrate on the positive and don't even entertain the negative.

And remember, it's very appropriate that number one comes first at times. This maybe one of those times.

When you begin to like yourself more, lonliness turns to solitude and solitude is the prize.

Answer 7

Girl those dogs will be ok u need a friend u know a man then u won't be so lonely or better yet scratch that I know how u feel i do it all the time I get up and leave I go to the library, get a gym membership find ladies with things in common with u talk Im here 223-1624

Answer 8

Well, the best advice I can give is, try and get into a routine, maybe watch some TV, do some cleaning, have dinner, pamper yourself in the bath whilst playing your favourite music. Have an early night with a good book.
The busier you are at home, the quicker you will get used to it and remember that your're not on your own feeling lonely and you might meet Mr Right tomorrow!
Take care. x

Answer 9

I`m 24 and living on my own since my ex of 6 years walked out,thankfully though i have my son but i do get lonely at nights when he`s asleep and i have to much time to think so i know how you feel,read watch dvd`s play music whatever makes you feel happy and have company around as often a you can.

Answer 10

Stay on here, if this is what makes you happy. Alternatively, turn on the TV or radio for some human comfort. Nights are a bit lonely, but you'll soon get used to it.