Should I be worried if I can't remember a lot of my childhood?

Question

I have a fairly good memory of going to school, but I have very few memories of my home life as a child. My three siblings remember so many things clearly (even my sister that is eight years younger than me can remember events that I was part of, but I still have no recollection).

Apparently my father was abusive, but I don't remember him as such. Other than that, no one has mentioned any traumatic events that I could possibly be blocking.

It used to be funny that I couldn't remember anything, but I am starting to worry about it. I thought maybe I was blocking those memories because of my father, but if that's the case then why do my sisters remember everything so clearly, and why can't I remember all of the happier times that they all seem to vividly recall?

My family was never really into taking pictures so I don't have a lot from when I was a kid.

Answer 1

Well, do you your sisters remember anything abusive? Especially in reference to you. I have the same kind of memory problem and IT IS due to problems in my childhood.. partially from abuse at home, but mostly things that went on in school. Sometimes there will be a "trigger" and Ill remember a piece which leads to another, and another.. and it kind of floods back in . I'm 27 now, and would say I have recovered most of my memory however it's taken around 8-9 years... I would consult a psychologist if you're that concerned or talk to you siblings and find out what they know..

Answer 2

If the reason you don't remember your childhood is because it was full of traumatic memories--well, what's so bad about that? This is your brain trying to protect you and keep you happy! In our culture we sometimes put a big premium on talking about painful emotions or confronting bad memories--but these things aren't good in and of themselves. They are only useful when the end result is you becoming a happier or healthier person. So unless you are currently depressed or always seem to make bad life choices, why not focus on creating some great memories now instead of dredging up unpleasant ones from the past.

Answer 3

Typically people who have encountered a significant amount of trauma are not able to remember their child hood. Yes, you should be worried b/c the reason you may not remember so much may be because you have blocked it out, but that doesnt last forever sometimes. In some cases when people begin to recall what they have blocked out it can be worse than if they just remembered all along. I suggest you try to begin to remember in a therapeutic setting this way the right type of support is in place for you. You can never be too sure what types of triggers can come up.

Answer 4

The brain can block traumatic events as a defense mechanism. Especially if there was abuse in your past, it is very normal not to have clear memories of large chunks of time. If it is a concern, I suggest contacting a therapist to help you get thru any unresolved issues you may have, or dig deeper to find out what you are blocking out.

Answer 5

Alice Miller wrote a fine book, "Walls of Silence." If there were abuse and trauma, then many families work in a conspiracy of not sharing it. They edit it out. Those walls of silence are strong. They lead inquirers down a primrose path. Should you worry? No. But it sounds as if you are concerned, and that intelligent search for more insight is not wrong. Caution: The walls are fortified, and can cause highly defensive and alienating responses.

Answer 6

At some point of your life you'll remember what is meant for you to remember. One way many people remember is through photographs. They don't 'really' remember but looking at the photograph seems to bring back their memories.

As far as bad memories, some of us don't remember abuses where others remember it differently than a sibling does.

Really, don't give it a second thought. Understand what your siblings remember and enjoy what you remember. If you don't remember...that's very normal as well.

Answer 7

It isn't necessarily cause for concern. The brain can act like a computer and once it full it cant take in anything else unless it deletes something it considers un-useful. If you think it isn't 'normal' memory loss. You can talk your doctor or try taking herbal remedies like Ginkgo.