It's ruining my relationships. But I hate certain kinds of sarcasm, I can't help it. I don't know how to desensitize myself from it all. It just hurts my feelings.
2007-03-03 13:00:58 · 7 answers · asked by angie 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Ah, the age old question of constructive criticism, eh? How do you know when it is well meant advise, playful sarcasm, or some sort of hateful spite? Your concern all depends on your own sense of worth. If you accept who you are and are proud of it, then your question is moot.
Believe in yourself. Believe in what you are doing. Believe in your own confidence to make the proper decisions. Then what others think becomes immaterial. When you can believe in yourself, then all other outside influences begin to dissipate and, eventually, they become only comments that you can consider, IF you choose to do so.
In other words, try to build up your own self confidence so that the comments or rumors you hear do not impact your feelings. I know this is easier said than done, but its the truth.
2007-03-03 13:24:53 · answer #1 · answered by shaboom2k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a conscious choice you make on whether what is said or done is going to hurt you - or not. You make the choice to be mature about it and don't take it so serious.
When people say things, especially people that care about you, they never want to hurt you...so you - you control how its interpret ted.
On your side, what you can do is not take it personally at all during the situation. Go on and have a great time doing what ever your doing. Don't - don't - don't pout. That's very immature.
When the evening, date, or at another time even a few days later - tell the person..."you said xxxxx the other day. I know you didn't mean it to - but it hurt my feelings." Chances are, they'll never do it again. If they do, say it again. Never at that time....never. Just enjoy yourself and talk about it later.
You may also try to build your self-esteem. You may not think well enough of yourself to take the statements. When you do, they'll roll off like water on a duck's back. ;-)
2007-03-03 21:10:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder if someone in your life hasn't hurt you when you were younger so now you think people mean to hurt you. A lot of sarcasm is meant to be kidding. And usually it is never done to people that are not really liked by the person saying those things.
2007-03-03 21:07:33 · answer #3 · answered by papricka w 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think this is true for many people, including myself. i don't think desensitizing yourself is the answer. maybe once you heal the parts of you that get hurt by it, you won't be affected by it anymore. in the mean time, you could start by telling the people involved how this affects you and ask if they are willing to refrain. if they aren't willing then work on a different solution, or limit your contact.
there's a book called non-violent communication by marshall rosenberg that may be helpful for you.
2007-03-03 21:12:42 · answer #4 · answered by curious1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read the book, "You can be Happy No Matter What. Five Steps to Keeping Your Life in Perspective." By Richard Carlson.
It will change your life.
2007-03-03 21:09:16 · answer #5 · answered by Scott 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let whoever you are with know that wether they mean it to be funny or not it still hurts your feelings. and then you need to try not to take offence when you know they are just trying to be funny. it might take a while but if the person really loves you they will understand.
2007-03-03 21:06:29 · answer #6 · answered by peach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just try really hard to not let it get to you. think about something positive when you start thinking about the negative things. don't let it affect your happiness, remember they are people who love you.
2007-03-03 21:04:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋