my 18 year old has turned into an abusive drunk he is in trouble with the police should i make him leave home?

Question

i am a lone parent with no one to talk to and apart from work i never leave the house any more as he is abusive and threatening to other members of the family if i asked him to leave he would have no where to go what can i do

thanks for all replys i have tried most of the suggestions and nothing has worked we have cried screamed shouted and tried to find a solution i love him and want the best for him but he seems to be in a self distruct mode i give him no money to resolve the problem but his so called friends and him just steal one has been caught but no deterent these people are not allowed in my home but he lets them in when i go to bed and when i am disturbed i ask them to leave but receive verbal abuse it is quite intimidating if i did not have a mortgage to pay i think i would have given in work a long time ago to keep a vigil at home, the doors are kept locked but he uses the windows as acess for his friends

Answer 1

tough question. I would make him leave home because he might be bringing it into your home, then you could get involved in it. Maybe him being in jail for a little while might help him learn his lesson. If he is threatening others then they will feel unsafe , and wont want to come around. It's either him going to jail for a little while or him continuing what he is doing. its a hard decision to make. I hoped i helped
good luck

Answer 2

Make sure all feelings are considered before, during and after councilling, legally everyone are all adults in this situation at 18 in terms of life he is still a child and being in front of people who misunderstand you can lead to a person becoming despondant lets be honest councillors can be hard to trust if they have power to punish. Some people want love others want more from life no matter how much of a waster they may appear or they themselves feel, some people just feel lost and find their answers in hard situations, places, or drugs, as long as being lost doesnt eat up the person they are and make them eternal hedonists, some of us just need to replace love that was once there for another with self-respect.

Answer 3

you should bypass to the information media with this one hon.they ought to work out how corrupt the welfare gadget on your section is and how your mom is milking it for all she would be able to get. She should not be receiving something if her "newborn therapist" b/f is working and residing there. next, they dropped the ball with you being abused with the help of them and not stepping in. you do no longer ought to return abode any way.flow wherein comprise your dad and paintings on the college subject when you get settled in,that's not extra risky on the college than that's which comprise your mom.next you recognize they are ingesting and utilising, call THE law enforcement officers and turn THEM IN each and each time until now they kill some harmless human beings or an entire relatives! understand that your mom and her loser b/f choose GOD or they are going to burn in hell. Get in church your self hon and GOD can help heal you,the United Pentecostal church homes are solid.in case you get the possibility ,study : Matthew 11:28-30 a million Peter 5:7 Romans 5:12 John 3:a million-5 and Acts 2:38

Answer 4

You are faced with a difficult choice and there are a few things to consider.

You said that he is an abusive drunk and he is putting other members of the family at risk. He is doing that with just the drinking and add to that, letting his friends into the house after hours as well. The risk to other family members is two fold and it will escalate as time goes on.

His friends are enabling him and the pattern of behaviour is going to continue.

You need to protect your family and get help for him but you can't do both while he is at home.

You could consider inpatient drug/alcohol rehabilitation and add family counselling as a part of the therapy.

The biggest problem is that if he refuses help or doesn't want to change then he will revert back to known behaviour. You may want to help him but he has to "want" to change or to get better.


The bottom line is that you need to take care of your family that is at risk and try and get him help through inpatient treatment/therapy and bring him back into the family unit after that. It is difficult to help or fix someone that refuses it.


The hardest thing is going to be waiting for him to hit rock bottom and realise that he has a problem and ask/want help.

Answer 5

Its a hard decision with serious consequences either way,if you let him stay he isn`t gonna change overnight but if you tell him to leave he may get worse and being on the streets turn to crime or drugs.

Why has he suddenly changed,is there a reason for it?
I think you need to sit him down and have a serious talk with him,dont nag or bawl as it wont get you anywhere,but just try having a relaxed heart to heart and let him know that if he doesn`t change his ways then he`ll be out the door and let him know you mean buisness by doing just that.That way you`ve given him the chance to change and he`s not taken it.

Answer 6

Your son is 18. I don't know of any state where the legal drinking age is that low. The first question is, where is he getting the alcohol? Who is supplying it? Call the police on that bozo first. Next, tell your son it's either alcohol or a roof over his head. If he won't stop drinking, throw him out. He is an adult afterall. He needs to grow up fast and understand the full consequences of his actions. The next time you catch him drinking, call the police to issue a Minor in Possession citation. Standing in front of a judge and paying a hefty fine might prove a bit of a wake up call for him.

Answer 7

If he is abusive to other family members,he needs to leave. He is eighteen and he is disrespecting you. Sit down,talk to him. Tell him that you are willing to support him if he gets professional help. If he refuses then you must ask him to leave. Make him get a job , go to counseling-that is his ticket to live in YOUR home. It will be hard. If you can/want offer to attend counseling with him. Either way an alcoholic abuser is extremely dangerous and it is unlikely that this is just a phase. This is serious. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this.

Answer 8

If he is putting your other family members at risk, you must do what has to be done in order to protect your other family members. He is too young to be drinking and needs some tough love fast. I would tell him that he needs to make some changes or he will have to find another place to live. Is he working? Has there been anything going on that may be causing these changes? Maybe counseling would help.

Answer 9

I am sorry you are faced with such a difficult situation. If you have any reason to fear for your own safety, he must leave. However, if you have a little time and do not feel personally threatened, you may be able to orchestrate an intervention with support from people who know about these things. With any alcohol issues, there are support groups associated with AA and you will get their number in every phone book. Look after yourself first and you have my heartfelt best wishes.

Answer 10

you must be going through a really hard time right now.
why don't you search for help? counseling 4 example.
i myself was an alcoholic and my parents did everything they possibly could to
help me. why don't you do the same? to be truthful and honest with you i think you need to let him go. He is never going to learn if he always has shelter, food, etc. i bet you do love him. i guarantee you that he loves you as well. you may not see it but he is a human and he does have feelings. I can't explain myself how some people such as your 18 yr old are so thick headed. once he is in jail.. i bet you anything that he won't see his friends visiting him, instead it'll be you. you- the one who hasn't given up on him. I give you props for that. :)