I am severly depressed 36/m who struggles to be happy is this normal?

Question

A little info about me. I lost my sister in 1997, we went to high school and college together. She died from HIV, some guy gave it to her. This destroyed me and broke my heart. Life has not been the same ever since then.

I broke up with ex g/f in July 2006. We had been dating for 4-5 years. Turns out all she did was lie to me.

Lost father August 2006.

My mother is verbally abusive to me even tho I still try to be the bigger person and tell her I love her regardless of her abuse.

My other sister won't talk much to me anymore because she cheated on her husband and now hates the family and blames us all for her mistakes.

I work from home so I spend alot of time alone, and have a few friends but most of them are alcoholics and some do drugs. I tried drugs but decided it wasn't for me cause I don't want to end up dead.

I am just tired, lonely, and it is a struggle to get through each day. It is a struggle to be happy. I am a good guy.

Answer 1

Hi there...

Two things going on here. One is that your life has had a lot of emotional struggles over the last 10 years. Huge struggles that could easily bring on depression. The second thing is that you work at home, which doesn't nurture a healthy emotional or mental situation just due to the nature of being home by yourself.

I think you should go and talk to a counselor about how to center yourself. Or, if you are religious, center yourself through your faith or higher power. Maybe try to meditate.

On the topic of working from home, I also have a home-based office. When I first started doing this about four years ago, I became severely depressed just because I was home alone all day! I didn't even want to make dinner as I was always home, and the kitchen was completely unattractive. About a year into it, I decided that I had to find things during the day to break it up.

I went to the gym in the middle of the day. I met friends for lunch. I joined a book club. I purposely planned out my weeks so that I had stuff to do. Do you have any hobbies that may be of interest? Stuff like that. But, just get yourself out of the house!

All in all, it sounds like you need to just center yourself, work on you. Find what will help you. You have had a lot of trauma, and working from home only reinforces the depression.

Have faith in yourself that you can pull out of this slump and that your life will be better. You are in charge of your happiness, just figure out what it'll take.

Answer 2

You seem like a nice guy.

So, i suggest you start living your life instead of judging it. Please try and ignore the cliche-ness.

Perhaps, for starters, you don't wanna spend the whole day cooped up at home, you could try going out for lunch/dinner. And if working at home really is putting you down, you should maybe rent a office, or get a part time outside work? Something that will keep you out of the house.

As for relationship-wise, it seems everyone is blaming someone else, and so i would suggest that you just leave them be, but always be open to them. Send them cards for yearly holidays and stuff, but don't cross that line.

And well, you're not only nice, you seem smart. Not doing drugs is an excellent idea.

And if it helps, you might wanna join a church or religious group? It helps you to unwind, and meet people.

Take care bro! All the best

Answer 3

It is absolutely normal to be 30 something and unhappy. There are a lot of people out there like your self who have family problems , they don't have a partner , they dont have a job, no home , and some people have health problems.
Life is a struggle ,every one has a story to tell. The challenge is either you change your situation or do nothing. In your case look at the bright side ..you are only 36..you have a whole life ahead of you..you are feeling down now, but who doesn't.
Time heals all the wounds..move on meet some new people, you may meet some one and start your own family. Best of luck.

Answer 4

You are suffering from "tunnel vision". You have your self caught up in yourself, and dwelling on the "bad" issues of your life! I know it isn't going to make you feel any better to tell you we all have our own bad issues, but it's true, we do! BUT, we all hopefully don't get caught up in a stage, we keep trying, everyday. When you get "tunnel vision" you seem to dwell on the poor me syndrome. At that point your headed straight down, like it or not! To get yourself out of that slump, or at least your brain, you are probably going to need therapy or even meds. The brain is a funny thing, but very strong! You do have a right to feel what your feeling, but when it starts to interfere with your daily living, it's than that you have problems, and need to reach out for help. Some ways of helping your self, is by asking your dear mother to back off until she can talk to you with respect and treat you with human compassion. You deserve that much. Go places and try to make NEW friends that are NOT involved with alcohol and drugs, places like that are out there. As for your sister and her divorce, well she's on her own, what happened to her is NOT your fault, so don't even think or let it be. Think wise, and learn ways to love yourself more. This is where therapy will come in. Don't be ashamed, we could all use it at sometime or another! Sorry about your other sister's death, but realize she also was in charge of her own happiness, and I bet she would love to see you happy!

Answer 5

Wow, with all the tragedy, this is normal for you.
You need to get some aroma therapy like the smell of
honeysuckles help you get over the loss of a loved one.
Hope things get better with Spring approaching.
You need to get out more before you get cabin fever.

Answer 6

I can relate. I really don't know what to say.I am a 180 from your work style,HALT, Hungry, Angry. Lonely, Tired.

Answer 7

its normal to struggle to be happy bcause everyone does it but it sounds like you need counsiling