Is this relationship going somewhere ?

Question

I have been dating this woman for 7 months , we started slow and it developed into alot of passion , fantastic chemestry , it really feels like true love , we miss each other , make each other smile , everything about her is purfect to me , the bad part is that she is divorcing a husband of 20 yrs who cheated , she is very unsure of things and is planning on moving out of state in a few years is she can , she has broke it off with me a few times only to let me know later that she misses me and wants to see me , she says she has lost alot of sleep over missing me and that breaking up with me was harder on her than ending the 20 yrs marriage , will htis ever be a good relationship for both of us , I know in my heart that she is the woman I could love for the rest of my life .

Answer 1

Hi,
I think that maybe you should give her some time to get over the end of her marriage before you begin a life-long relationship. She may need a time where she is not in a relationship since she has spent the past 20 years in one. Perhaps after some time apart, she may be ready to begin another long term relationship. Good luck to you both!

Answer 2

Sounds like she is on the rebound. I hate giving advice like this knowing how you feel, but you need to see the whole truth and since you posted on here, i am assuming thats what you are looking for. First off, i think she has trouble with commitment. 20 years is a long time, but it sounds like SHE was the one who ended it and last time i check, when you take your vows before God, you say for better or worse. That means once she ditches her hubby for you, chances are she will ditch you as soon as things get worse with you. Im not saying you would cheat, because i dont know you, but if you lost your job she might be ready to run a bail.

I would not trust this woman, as she said she is divorcing her husband because he cheated, yet she is still marriend and cheating on him with you. I know everything feels great right now for you, but this relationship started without any honor (she should have at least got divorced before looking for a new boyfriend) and there is almost no chance it will last.

I would also becareful if i were you. Could be a good chance that she has no intention of divorcing him and is just telling you this stuff to keep you around. You need to find a woman who has a good sense of committment, someone that will stick by you. Do you believe she would stick by you? She has broken up with you a few times already and its only been 7 months.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but i would get rid of her.

Answer 3

It could be a great relationship, this sounds like exactly what im going through with my girl, she got out of a 10 yr and has done the same to me, I feel that she is havig a hard time getting over him, and wrestling with a possible reconciliation with him in her mind, but swears that it isnt that, and would deny those are her feelings until she died to protect my own feelings, so iwould guess that only alot of time will dictate what she wants, but she wont tell you of her thoughts, because she is still hurting, it makes you feel like you are being strung along and that at any second all the good feelings that she has brought to your life will be ripped away from you, so you sit and await your fate, in constant limbo, wondering hoping, protecting your heart with a brick wall trying to not lose your grip on what little control that you still have, i know your pain all to well my friend, hope for the best and prepare for the worst and takes what comes because the sun will rise again tomorrow and you will still have to live up to your responsibilities keep your chin up

Answer 4

It sounds like she is still trying to work through her feelings about the marriage ending, and it is probably not a good thing that she got involved with someone until she had closure from that. It is too late for that now so....It sounds like you both love each other very much, but she needs some space to work through things mentally. Try to give her the space she needs (which will not be easy on you), but call to let her know you care. By doing this, she will come back to you stronger and with closure so that things will go forward without her thinking about the past so much.

Answer 5

a 20 year marriage is going to take more than 7 mos. to put behind and move on. i am sure she is confused,especially if her marriage was in bad shape for awhile before it ended. and the love and affection she gets from you are great.but i think you should step back and give her plenty of space,still let her know you aren't going anywhere and let her know she has your support. she needs to figure out if she misses you for you,or if it is just because she is having a hard time being alone after having someone there for 20 years.believe me you deserve more than to be just someone who is filling the void she suddenly has. and i am also sure she misses you more cos you have given her lots of love and attention in the last 7 mos. you know how it is in a new relationship. and you make her feel secure while she is no longer secure in the marriage that has fallen apart. so please take the time to be sure and let her have time to figure out what she really wants.

Answer 6

Okay, one of two things happened in your situation. Either your girlfriend is still heartbroken over her husband and is having trust issues because he cheated or you were her rebound relationship. In either case only time will tell so the best thing for you to do is wait it out. Be patient with her. Twenty years is a long time and I'm sure that at this moment she is feeling like she wasted the majority of her life. Good luck to you and her.

Answer 7

That depends on how long she's been apart from her soon to be ex, and whether or not she's over him. If he cheated on her then this is still fresh to her, and after 20 years she may have had her mind settled in to the idea of "this is the man I'll grow old with". Having that idea suddenly shattered can take awhile for her to get over. You may just be a replacement in her mind- a "quick fix" to ease the shock and heartache of what's just happened to her.
If, on the other hand, it has been awhile and she truly is over him, then what is she unsure about? Sounds like she needs to quit comparing you to him and judging you based on what he did to her. Talk to her about this, tell her what you just wrote in your question above, and sort it out with her. The truth will save you a lot of heartache in the long run!

Answer 8

no. it will never be the relationship you want 1st she is cheating on her husband in revenge and probably will not get a divorce and if she does she might end up back with him, my advice is if she does get a divorce let her live by herself so that she can grow into a person that you might love, and then you can see the real her. Right now she is all messed up from your side of emotions pulling at her and her husbands side.

Answer 9

You just need to reassure her that you will not cheat on her. Always be true to your word when telling her anything. Make sure that you're where you say you'll be and that you're doing what you say you'll be doing. After a while, she'll chill out and realize that some of us are not deceptive. Right now her entire world seems like one big lie. Nothing she counted on was real. To her, life probably goes in and out of focus and has little meaning, at times. She's hurt and angry about being made a fool of for years probably and doesn't want to be made a fool of again. Just let your actions be true to your words.

Answer 10

If you really feel this way you must tell her that! before its too late! She is divorcing someone she has a broken this is all confusing...the best thing yuo can do is comfort her and help her through this because apprently you can make her smile!!! Just tell her how you fell about this. Her moving out of state andhow much u luff her! Tell her she is your world...talking this out may help you!!! it work...maybe that all you need a long serios talk!