How can I move out without boyfriend knowing?

Question

He left and went to his cousin( its been a month) because we are not getting along. I asked him to come back as we have an 8 month old baby but he has not. He is paying rent for me but If he won't come back and be a family I want to move back west with my baby where I have family and a support network. I moved here to be with him last year-he has family here. But when we fight he tells them all about it and has turned them against me. I have no friends or support here and hate it here. I need to get out as smoothly as possible and can't tell him my plan because he might try and get a court order to keep me here. It's will be hard because I have an old car and pets.I am willing to let him visit his child if I leave or even reconcile if he is willing but I want to move!( iam her primary caregiver)I talked to a lawyer and she said I had custody being unmarried mom and I could move but to do so sooner than later because he could try and file to stop me saying he wants to fight forcustody

. I was thinking of telling him I was going to visit my sister then calling him and telling him I wanted to stay there but how would I get my stuff?
I need a step by step plan of what to do when. Should I sell my car? I was thinking I could sell it and have the person pick it up right before i left.
Any detailed advice would be great !

to the person who answered and said I would be considered an unfit mother because I am a stay at home mom: being a mom who is present is one of the most honorable jobs there is and me and my fiance both thought a newborn baby should be taken care of by it's mother not some day care center or stranger if at all possible. we made an agreement that I would stay home with the baby ( i work from home as well decorating cakes part time)until she is in school then I can work outside too. Nuff said

Answer 1

Run really fast. Leave now.

Answer 2

First of all, it sounds as if he is using manipulation, power, and control tactics on you. If you continue to accept this behavior from him then you are putting yourself in an abused persona. If he has ever laid a mean hand on you or hit you then you need to get out for the safety of you and the baby. Contact your family and see if there is someone who can come help you move and that will also allow you to stay with them until you find a place of your own, 3 months is a good time but no more than 6 months staying with family. If you have a cell phone in your name and not his, then use it for all calls and if you don't, then get a prepaid cell phone to use. Pack only what you need and what will fit in the vehicles you arrange to use. Belongings are just objects and can be replaced. Since he has been gone for a month, there is the possibility that he may be coming back soon. Most people return to the home within 3 months. If you want to get out without his knowing, you have just a few weeks to do it in. If he is a good man and you two just don't get along, then try talking to him about moving and by all means keep him in the baby's life as long as it is safe for her. Good luck.

Answer 3

He might already have filed papers for custody and is only setting you up forfailure. He may show to the courts that your not working and he is paying the rent making you an unfit mother.
Contact your local womans shelter, but do it quick. Arguing is verbal abuse and unhealthy for a child to be hearing that.
If you move now back home to where you know you'll be safe atleast you'll have the upper hand. Then file in the state you reside for child support and he will have to appear in your states's court.
Can your family help you move? Best time is when he is at work.

Answer 4

When you said he tells his family every time you have a little run in, that would be enough for me to be moving on. I hate for a man to tell all his business and all about his wife or whatever ever little disagreement because it is none of their damn business.
Just get that bag packed , oil changed, pack up all your groceries and whatever you can load up and move on real fast like. He don't love you, are he would be with you helping you raise that baby. I'd be doing some traveling first hit that divorce atty, and file for divorce, custody of your baby, and for him to pay all court cost , atty fees and child support. Let him go tell mommy and da-da all about what a terrible person your are. If he call me I'd tell him to kiss my a** and go straight to hell and tell him to be sure and spread the news to all his family the whole caboodle.

Answer 5

Get a plane ticket scheduled as soon as possible if you can't find one soon call up a family member or stay at a hotel until you can get back to the west. Get the suitcases and pack up NOW!! Get back to your hometown and get a job as soon as possible so he cannot say that you are not working.(Of course get a good paying job.) It sounds like he has control over you or something. If he calls do not answer the phone. I repeat if you have to stay at a hotel until you can get out. DO IT. When you get back with your family cut off any connection with him. Change your cell number if you have to. Delete your old email address whatever. Just get out TONIGHT!

Answer 6

do what your lawyer said and go now he can fight you if he finds out keep your mouth shut when his family is around. ask your family for help and I'm sure they will and as for the pets give them away to the human society, they will find them good homes. its about you and your baby and if doesn't want to come home then you have no choice, move out go where you have support and where you can be around people who love you and that baby. he maybe seeing someone that's why he's not coming home so i say get out now and when the times right you'll find love again and you will learn from this and not allow it to happen again. good luck

Answer 7

Just arrange with a friend or family member to have a place to stay and go. Do it as soon as possible. I mean, make a call, pack the things you need and load yourself, the baby and the pets into the car.
Its really that easy.

Answer 8

Now it's when you need your family.
Call then and tell then you need somebody to come help you drive back to the west cost where they live. You just need to do that and from here do your legal battle.
It seems that he got cold feet, he doesn't want to be attached but wants to keep you close for whatever selfish reason.
You know you need to move out of there, start acting now.

Answer 9

Pack only things that you and your baby need and just leave.
Don't worry about anything else.If your worried about your car maybe you could call a friend or family member to come and get you.

Answer 10

You poor thing. Run. Go, Get out while you can. Get your family to help you to get your things and leave when he is not around. Your right the sooner the better

Answer 11

Take the necessities and go. You can always come back for the rest later, or have someone else get them or you can replace them. If you feel you have to leave right away, then do it.