me and my hubby come from 2 different background. i'm catholc and he's babpits. my parents are well off and his are not. i try to be nice to them but nothing works. what can i do. its hurts our marrage. cause they invite him and the girls to thing and not me.
2007-03-03 11:39:15 · 13 answers · asked by lisaanndubay 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should talk to your husband about how it makes you feel. He should not allow his family to treat you like that. He should take a stand and say that you are his wife and that you plan to be together forever so they should get to know you. My husband finally did this with his family and they backed down. You should also go to your in-laws and in a really NICE way, tell them that you feel alienated and you want a better relationship with them. Don't act accusatory or angry. Just tell them that you wish you were closer to them. You could also try to do nice and thoughtful things for you in-laws. Things that show that you care about them. Like perhaps making a scrapbook of the kids for them. Just something that shows you are putting forth effort. Don't expect immediate progress. Just keep on doing those things and eventually they will see that their opinions of you were wrong.
2007-03-03 11:48:16 · answer #1 · answered by cakekweeny 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it is not your job to get them to like you. Never try to win a persons love; just be yourself.....I know that this hurt but do not allow them to change who you are......the fact is your family do have money and you are catholic,so what they should still love you; you are family now
Secondly, your hubby needs to stand up for you. He need to let them know that you guys are one flesh and if they invite him they must invite you. That is something your hubby must say not you.
You and you hubby must stick together in a situation like this b/c now you guys are the family.
2007-03-03 19:52:19 · answer #2 · answered by ELDER 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good luck on that--my grandparents still do not get along with my aunt who married my uncle 25 years ago, and my father in law doesn't like me much and I've been married to his son over 8 years. I think the best you can do is to just let them be whoever they are going to be, but for your own self-respect treat them like family even if they don't want to act like it. And don't expect much out of them.
2007-03-03 19:46:47 · answer #3 · answered by Phartzalot 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG
I lived in a marriage for 20 years with His unbearable parents.
And believe me when I tell you they were unbearable! We both have rich parents....They offered him money to leave me.....and he did it.
It was his fault I was so good to them he was the one who could have made things better...but he was a mama's boy and Mama's boys are REAL trouble. Next man I get involved with will have dead parents...I will never live like that again.
Oh and by the way...we have been divorced for almost 3 years
she caused me alot of heartache I would cry for days and years...one day she dropped dead. I really am not glad...because I KNOW she is in hell.
2007-03-03 20:22:10 · answer #4 · answered by Bobbie4u 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him you feel left out.
Just be you - if they dont like it, who cares? The only way you get to know people is to be around them.
Thats what my momma always told me.
I have several married in aunts. Once they started talking and being socialable, they were in. One has been in the family for 30 years. She has said twenty words to me my whole life. I cant stand the stuck up huzz.
Just be cool, and dont worry about what people think of you.
2007-03-03 19:48:41 · answer #5 · answered by Mia l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes those babpits are like that. Just work on your marrage and treat your in laws politely whenever you encounter them. Eventually they will invite you to thing too.
2007-03-03 19:43:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, first off, they need to just accept you for you and respect you as their son's wife. They don't have to fall all over you but they need to be civil and respectful. Secondly, your husband needs to tell them that if they want to see him and the girls, they will have to treat you as they should. You are a package deal. I went through the same thing with my in-laws and that is what my wife told them. My wife is Baptist and I'm Catholic but when it comes down to it, they are both Christian religions with the same message.
2007-03-03 19:45:50 · answer #7 · answered by OrangeCharlie 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't bend over backwards to please anyone. You'll be the one getting hurt. Your husband should stand up for you in saying that if she's not invited then neither am I. It's rude not to invite a spouse along. It's perfectly ok for him to spend time with them without you, but to flat out not invite you is simply rude ! I'd say something to him about it as well !!
2007-03-03 19:43:58 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm sure you've talk to your husband how much this situation with his family bothers you. Is he on your side, or does he goes to those family reunion without you because you're not invited?
If he hasn't yet, he should talk to then and tell then that without you he can't go to their house because when they reject you they are rejecting him. He should stay 100% on your side.
2007-03-03 19:50:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been in this situation. Your husband has to stand up for you and make them respect you and include you. He has to make it clear to his family that he loves you and that they need to treat you well if they want him around. Until this happens they will continue to treat you badly.
2007-03-03 21:38:43 · answer #10 · answered by Shelley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋