I need help with my husband??????

Question

I need help with my husband. I am a young stay at home mother of two, go to school onlinel go to the gym,and do all the cooking in the house.And all I am asking for is for my husband to spend more
time with me. I have confronted him many times about this and he just doesn't get it. All he really cares about is going to work and working on cars. I am so sick of it. Most of the time I am home on my own with the kids. I believe I have a lot on my plate. I would love to be more intimate with him. How does he expect me to have a high self esteem if he doesn't make me feel wanted. I am 5'2" and 125 lbs. Does anyone thing there is something wrong with me..I feel like all I do is nag.
I don't know what to do anymore??????

Answer 1

sounds like he is bored

let him do his stuff with his cars and let him be happy. Find some hobbies of your own and do as much as you can to be intimate before bedtime

Answer 2

You already answered your own question, and the answer is: kids. He's had all the intimate time he's wanted to have, because if he goes near that again, he'll have #3 on his hands instead of 2. The honeymoon is over after baby #1, the love ends with #2, and you can imagine what would happen with #3.

The other thing is that you don't seem to understand that he is bringing home the money, so let him do what he wants, otherwise YOU go out and get a job, then see how hot you feel after a long day at work. Work is not "time to ourselves," work is slavery, and I don't think any slaves have fun, so let him have his fun with cars, porn, or whatever. He deserves it!

You're being a bit demanding of him, wanting him to make enough to support 4 people, then come home and entertain you like he's some kind of robot built for you amusement! You chose to have kids, so don't whine and complain about your life now!

Answer 3

What you've got to do is take some control back. Plan a romantic weekend. Do everything so he's not put out. Get the babysitter, reserve the room, gas up the car, I mean everything. Then kidnap him. Have friends and family in on it so you can pull it off.
Once you're alone with him show him the best time he's ever had. Make it fun for both of you. On the way home explain to him that your marriage need this twice a year, or however often you want it. Hopefully, some of the intimacy felt from the weekend will still be there.
Lastly, know that taking care of kids is a very difficult and demanding job. If your husband isn't willing to share time with you, carve some out for yourself. Find a new hobby or sport. Just make sure it makes you happy. Good luck and know you're not alone. This is a really common situation.

Answer 4

I kinda have the same problem, I have been married for 7 years and have 2 kids, my hubby works 50+ hours a week and when he gets home all he wants to do is play on the computer. I have had many talks and fights about this, and all I have come up with that he is bored. He needs to be challenged more, and the kids well after working all day he comes home to them jumping all around daddy daddy and he trys to tune them out. I just get left behind because he knows that I will be here tomorrow. So I told him he needs to evaluate whats important me or the computer! Now we both make an effort to be alone like when he gets home at 3in the morning from work (at a bar/grill) I get up to have "alone time" with him. It seems to be working after we are done if he chooses to play on the computer then so be it as long as he knows that in the morning he is going to be a husband and a dad and play with the kids.

Answer 5

If you have someone to take care of the kids for few hours, ask them to babysit them out of the house, then make a delicious dinner for two (not the ones you cook because kids like them, no cook something he likes it very much) then wear something sexy and smell very good, do a little make up, have his favorite music on, after all this I don't think he will be the same as he was before. You have to find out the ways he can't resist and say no to you. No kids, I mean they are precious but you guys need time to be alone together.
and why not sometimes when he is fixing a car make his favorite drink, take it to him,and start a sweet conversation, ask questions about the cars and etc.

and after all this, just be thankful for the life you have.
there are women out there, who have to work cook and have more than two kids. don't complain a lot, and make your self happy with small things.

Answer 6

I think it could possibly be that he doesn't feel the two of you have anything in common to talk about or do together. Find something that he enjoys that you can enjoy with him, and don't pretend only try things that you feel you might enjoy as well maybe this will help and lay off on the nagging they all hate it even tho we feel like we aren't being heard is the only reason why we do it, and it most definetly isn't you and there is nothing wrong with you this is an entirely normal thing to happen in a marriage, good luck and remember act content to get him to relax and maybe things will change but don't expect overnight results :D

Answer 7

There's no reason why you should have low self-esteem. You're doing so much, You're doing everything. The physical part is not bad at all, and your husband doesn't appreciate you? I feel sorry for him.
Perhaps you'll get a degree soon, start working, take your kids to day care, or whatever your goals are, and you'll find out that you're a great person... now if your husband doesn't realize that, it's his problem, but don't rely on him to be happy.
Follow your goals, enjoy your kids and if he doesn't take the blindfold of his eyes, then sadly but perhaps necessary, find someone who wants to share you all that you can give.
You're are doing great, good luck.

Answer 8

Nona, it sounds like you are married to me. lol
I worked 80-90 hours a week, came home, took the kids out and worked there too. Then I'd work on my rods. My wife asked me the same question as you asked yours. So, one day she appeared out in the garage leaning over the fender asking can I help? That went on for a couple of months. And we talked, and talked, got a little frisky in the garage, and I saw another side of the fence. My family.

I never looked back. Started going to church together, and we never went anywhere we would be ashamed to take our kids.
Well, that was 37 years ago! I don't have a vehicle that needs working on. I still make things, but mostly as a family.

That's my experience. I certainly can't tell you what to do, but maybe you can get some ideas from my story.

Answer 9

I understand how you feel.......you feel like you are stuck between a hard rock and a rough place!!!
First of all, find a way to get his attention........stop trying to talk about this and talk about that, instead stock him.........one day get a babysitter and plan a stay at home dinner just for the two of you.......do all the things he enjoy....flatter him with positive words and make the night centered all around him.............then you tell him you wish that ya'll could do things like this more often and that you really like it when his attention is only focused on you. Ask him if ya'll could do something like that a least once a week?

Setting a date is good b/c you can plan and you know that it is your time........I know you want more but you must first get what you can get and work your way up.
Sometimes you just have to show men things and this is one of them times...

Answer 10

Im sure there is nothing wrong with you. I know it is hard to be away from your husband while he is at work, but remember, he worked all day too, and he needs time to do his own thing.
When you go to bed, try to talk a little bit about his day, he will feel good that your interested. Remind him about how much you love him, and how glad you are that you have a family with him.
Try to plan just one night a week where you can be alone together, even if it's for just a few hours...explain how important it is to you, and to him.
Lastly.....There's always walking around in a sexy lingerie set...works every time.
Good Luck, your doing fine.

Answer 11

You are a strong woman to do all these things and you definitely need to be given more attention and appreciation. I suggest that you take a day off and leave him in charge (have your mom or dad or some other relative on standby in case an emergency arises). Let him get a dose of his own medicine. I suggest you wake up one morning - tell him have a nice day and leave on a "me" day. Let your family members know that they aren't allowed to babysit for him (unless it's an emergency) or aren't allowed to help him out. If your kids are old enough to understand the night before you leave explain to them that you need to handle some grown up business and that daddy will be mommy for a day. Or if you don't want to go this far - go on strike. Pick a Sunday or Saturday and make a sign listing your demands and sit on the couch or wherever you feel comfortable and can be seen by the public. Good Luck ! God Bless !!