Am I strange?

Question

I had a miscarriage 5 weeks ago. I was 5 weeks pregnanct when it happened. I was obviously devastated but want to try again straight away. I feel that people are expecting me to be upset about it constantly. I do think about what happened a lot but I always come back to " whats meant to be is meant to be" I think people think that I dont care because this is the way I see things but of course I do. Am i OK over this miscarriage or has it just not hit me what has happened. Why am I worrying about what people thin. Am i holding the grief in without realising it? Am I strange?

Answer 1

no your not strange.

i had a miscarriage 10 years ago and whilst i was upset i was sort of half expecting it. you see my mum had two miscarriages before she had me i know it doesn't run in family's but it still makes you think.
i started bleeding on the Friday night so we went to the hospital and they confirmed my suspicions but booked me in for a scan on the monday i started to deal with it straight away but my boyfriend refused to until we had had the scan. he was deverstated and wouldn't talk about it at all where as i was more ok then thats a shame.
it wasn't until a few months later when i was watching a programme with a newborn baby in it that from nowhere i started crying and didn't stop for hours!

we all deal with things differrently.

we're married now with a three year old but we still talk about the baby we lost and what it might have been like. we both know though that it wasn't the right time for us.

hope this helps xx

Answer 2

Sounds like either you need to do some self reflection or your letting these people affect you. It's not their life. This is your life and your choices over your feelings. Sometimes you can share too much information with people. No matter how close they are, there are some things you don't really share with people because too many people think THEY need to tell YOU what should happen, what is true and what you should do. Talk to only who you trust about serious things and only take away what you choose to. Some things they say will apply, some things won't. Ultimately it's your choice and your life in the end. You're unconsciously holding grief if you think that you are unconsciously holding grief. Self reflect, explore exactly how you feel about everything that has happened and go from there in making your decision about whatever you need to make a decision for. Stick to your beliefs and who you are and don't let someone else doubt your decisions for your life, becuase it's not thier life. Be sure of who you are and make educated decision.

Answer 3

no - you're not strange. u were only 5 weeks pregnant and hadn't really had long to get used to the idea of being pregnant, and u wouldn't have had many physical symptoms of being pregnant at that stage. i think it would have been a lot more difficult for u had it happened later on in the pregnancy. stop worrying about what u think u should be feeling, every one reacts differently hon. good luck with conceiving. i had a miscarriage too, but managed to fall pregnant again 4 months later, and went on to have a healthy baby boy. hope it all goes well for u.

Answer 4

I had a miscarriage in 2000, really wanted the baby, and yes I was devastated. I wanted another baby right away but had to delay it due to ankle surgery...but we tried again as soon as we could and in December 2001 I had a beautiful baby boy. Having that child is what really helped in my case.

Sometimes I think about the child I lost and cry a little bit, over six years later...but I've come to the conclusion that what happened, happened, and I'm able to get on with my life.

You grieve in your own way. Don't expect to be like everyone else.

{{{hugs}}}

Answer 5

After each of my miscarriages ( I had 2 at 13 weeks each time) the doctors asked me why I wasnt upset. I too, believe what will be will be. However, even though i am not throwing myself into rages of depression I do think about the babies almost all the time. Always wondering. Even though I was so early, it was still there. I do not think that you are strange at all. And if anybody thinks you are weird b/c you deal differently, I would tell them to go shove their opinions into a certain orface of their body. Lol. Good luck and have fun trying again!!!

Answer 6

No, you're not strange. It's perfectly fine that you're over it, and there's nothing wrong with that. Yes, you DO realize what has happened, but your response to it is a greatly confident one. I admire you for that!
Honestly, it's no one's business how you feel about whatever happens to YOU. Why should they care at all even if you really didn't care? Forget about them! I've learned that I can never please people/society no matter what I do. SOMEONE out there will ALWAYS have probs with me, and do people expect me to pay attention to everyone's view of me??
Chances are, they see how strong you are for coping with it like a real strong woman, and they wish they were the same way. So since they admire you for that and hate to admit it, they express their jealousy to you by criticizing you. I'm not wrong, believe me.
You lost an unborn child; it wasn't your fault; there's nothing you can do about it, and grieving over it will NOT bring him/her back at all. What you CAN do, however, is have another child if you want, and again, IGNORE what peop have to say concerning your decision. They don't know what's in your heart, and they don't need to know. Smile at them sweetly and tell them (if they ask) that you wish to have a child and have every right to have one.
Good luck, and don't worry at all about what others say :D! It won't get you anywhere.
Peace and blessings be upon you!

Answer 7

i had a miscarriage when i was 10 wks pregnant i was upset but decided to try straight after within a very short period of time i got pregnant i now have 5 lovely healthy children and 20wks pregnant with no 6 so i understand what you mean you go for it don't dwell on what could have been some people become consumed in grief and never move on best wishes to you xx

Answer 8

no sweetie you are fine and it will bother you from time to time.But i think you are better off not to sit and go crazy over it.I have had 5 miscarriages and the first 3 i about went out of my mind over.My Dr was the 1 to sit me down and tell me that if i kept on the way i was going then it was no good,the stress on my body would never allow me to carry a baby,he said to think about the child and children we lost and shed a tear if i must but then smile and know that they are whole now and nothing is the matter with them now they are at home with God were sorrow and tears are not allowed and 1 day we would meet again.That help me a lot,and now when i find out i'm pregnant i dont even act like it matters because i dont want to get my hopes up until i get past the danger zone,so that way if i lose it i can simpley keep my mind.I just tell myself that God wanted that 1 also,i cry over it and hurt,but i try to put it out of my mind and just act like i just got my period late.so see we all deal with things different then others and you know what is best for you so just do what i did just tell people you are trying to move past it and you do not wish to talk about it that it just keeps it all in the open and raw and affects you to much.If they really care for you then they will understand and respect your wishes.I wish you the best and good luck, take care

Answer 9

Maybe you want to get pregnant straight away so you dont miss the baby youve lost as much,when youve been pregnant & not got a baby at the end of it perhaps its made you want a baby even more.You expected to have another baby,that urge ,those hormones & feelings wont disappear overnight so you probably do want another baby.It sounds like a natural reaction to me.Try & think though,is your body & mind,strong & healthy enough at the moment.You want a healthy baby when the time comes & having a miscarriage takes a lot out of you so make sure your physically ready if you do decide to try again.Have a chat with your doctor to make sure your physically back to normal.& if you are dont worry about other people,go with your heart.You'l know when your ready.

Answer 10

no your not strange and you know what for those people that tell you stuff like that you need to tell them where to shove it this is your life and if you want a baby that bad than do everything that you can i know having a miscarriage isnt the easiest thing to go through but you are right what is mean to be is mean to be regardless so what if it hasnt hit you yet that you had a misscariage it may never hit you hard and it may hit you hard its all about how you are controlling the whole deal and dont let people tell you how to handle your situation okay