What's your suggestion?

Question

My husband took the day off to spend with our child. They went to a restaurant that has games so they could play. My husband said he had to go in to work after so they came home & then he left. Well, my four year old told me "daddy said don't talk about the girls". I asked "what girls?". He said "from daddy's work". After asking my son a few more questions he told me that they went to this woman's house & even told me that they have two cats & that the woman & the "little girl"(her daughter apparently) all went to the restaurant. He said that the woman road up front & the little girl in the backseat w/him & that at the restaurant daddy sat by the "big girl". I don't feel like my child is making this up & why would a kid? Later this month my child & I are moving away "for awhile" to supposedly save money or so my husband says. The question I am debating is whether I am going to say something now or after I move. Is this enough evidence of maybe..cheating? Any suggestions?

Answer 1

My opinion: say something now, but without an angry overtone. Don't ask him if this is true, approach him as if you already know and you want an explanation for this to determine what does all of this mean. Sometimes when we ask questions we secretly look to hear what we want to hear and that would be anything to ease our hearts. All that does is fuel our denial. Face the truth even if its painful. You deserve to be in a respectful relationship. Just remember: anything that starts wrong ends wrong and if he is "cheating" He is only cheating himself. He also isn't setting a good example for his son . He is sending mixed messages that will confuse him later in life as he starts to seek meaningful relationships. I would approach the situation like this: I would say honey we need to talk and this is something very serious. I am disturbed that you would invite our son on one of Your "dates" and somewhere in the back of his little mind he knows that it was wrong because he made reference to it. If you choose to be disrespectful, i would apprecate if you wouldn't include him unless we mutually agree that we have seperated and are seeing other people.-
You mentioned that you are moving away and expect the best, but be prepared for anything. You have a son and you need to be strong for him. It appears that your husband is already preparing for your exit. It's not fair for any woman to live with a man/husband when his mind is somewhere else. Be strong and remember you have the best Man in the world_ "The one you gave birth to". Pray for guidance and strength. Oh... before i forget, Don't ask your son anything about the situation. Don't unintentionally hire him as a private investigator. I know alot of women do that and it builds up negative emotions in kids and they "feel" that something is wrong and feel inadequate because they will start blaming themselves for revealing information that "just by your Expressions" they will see that you are hurt by what you are being told.
Here is a scripture for you: I John 2: 19
You'll be fine.........

Answer 2

First of all, do not use your child by asking all those questions. All that aside, confront your husband. Do you want to stay with him or leave him for cheating? Why is your husband saying your temporary move will save money? Maybe it is convenient for him if he is playing the field. You need to have an hones conversation with him before making any judgments. Good luck!

Answer 3

I don't understand how you could ignore it. He is obviously cheating and has taken your child to meet his mistress. Look for some other signs and clues of cheating and confront your husband. Didn't you find it odd that he wanted you to move away to "save money"? If you were saving money wouldn't he be eating at home instead of going to a restaurant? Think logically and you might be surprised at what you can figure out.

Answer 4

I would say go with your instincts on this one. Children are brutally honest and have no reason to make up lies like that. If your husband is acting a little strange and you have notice subtle changes, you need to ask him up front what is going on. Good Luck.

Answer 5

well I would definatly be doing some investigating . You are not stupid and i think there are some tale tell signs there . I would be asking some ?s of my husband . I would be going around his office checking things out too. Be smart about it though . good luck .

Answer 6

have you ever asked him or showed up at his work take to your husband he needs to know how you feel don't be afraid to ask Questiong he might have thought you would get mad if you are the jelious type talk too him find out talk to his friends or both of your friends. if you are concerned follow him see what he is up to take pictures and notes of what you see thats what I did now He is the one who got kicked out

Answer 7

Open up the communication with your husband.

Answer 8

Out of the mouths of babes...!

I would question him on it.

Answer 9

Please talk to your husband.............