How can i deal with this ?

Question

I am from India but living in the US. Over in India humor is not always exchanged in a social situation but here it seems to be. When i pass by someone and don't say a word, people seem to get suspicious of me. I try to say something nice to a person but dont' know what to say, so i just keep quite.

Answer 1

Why would they be suspicious? Don't worry, I'm a quiet person too. Just stick with your friends, it doesn't really matter what other people that you don't know think. It's good that you're thinking of being polite. If you know these people, think of some conversation starters so that you can talk to them, like,
"Hey, how's it going?" or "How was your weekend?", "How's your pet doing?" , "What did you think of that....(fill in blank)". It'll get easier, don't worry. Hope I helped. Good luck!

Answer 2

Have a look at the book "Behave Yourself!: The Essential Guide to International Etiquette" by Michael Powell. It has a summary of the important social difference between dozens of cultures.

Read the section on your own country and compare to the section on the United States. I read this book before I spent time in eastern Europe--it was spot on!

If you don't have to time to read the whole thing here is a 10 second capsule of the U.S section: Amercans typically smile ALLOT, second perhaps only to Thais. We are very familiar with one another, formalities are mostly for funerals, courtrooms, and other situations we'd rather not think about. "How are you?" Is a greeting, not a question.

Answer 3

hey man i share the same feeling....
Dont worry i got over that feeling just 3 month ago
Humour it's a natural thing, either you have it or you dont. And also humour only comes out when you are in a suitable environment, because only then your body and mind will be relaxed, and that's what i mean by "natural humour", also i don't know if you read a lot or not, the reason i found my self not funny in the class because of 3 reasons. First, i am from China, come from a huge city, and there fore not only do they treat me a little different, but i act very defensively toward some of my class mates when they are rude to me. (tell me to shut up, when asking a question (you know??) ) 2nd reason, is that i dont know the language as well as the other people, and have a different cultural background, it's a difference i must accept right at the moment, because i need time to catch up on that. 3 rd reason was because I live in a town where there is no chinese here, (minor reason) i tend to differentiate locals from my own people, anyways, also because i did not join any sports team or anything, so dont meet a lot of people, there fore dont interact with others as often as i like, dont share a lot of common ground if you know what i mean. Most of them grew up as friends, and i came as an outsider, feeling defensive toward their every move, it doesn't work.. My solution to that problem was first accept the facts, the fact that i am different from the rest, now that does not mean i have to treat them differently, just know the difference between us, and do the best you can to interact with them. First of all, interact with the people you know, whether they are your friend or not, talk with them, or just passing them in the hall way or in class room, ask them to burrow a pen or something (this is also a good way of knowing and recognizing your potential friends in the class room) . Be very positve, (it's very hard, took me a year to get used to this concept), by that i mean smile when you can (though it is pretty hard for someone to smile when they are tired, also care less about other's opinions toward you (another hard thing to do) and also be patient as the saying goes "Patience makes lighter/ What sorrow may not heal." Be patient my friend!! also a few comments on how i felt when I "HAD" your feeling back 3 month ago. I did not think it was neccessary to associate with other people because i thought standing in the hall way was a waste of time, especially talking about (girls, cars, current school events) i mean come on!! But sometimes, when people dont know you as well, some and i mean some will attack... Watch out for that.. dodge if you can, avoid is the best solution in the long run, dont wanna make enemies before you get to know them here's my favorite:

-Non-violent resistance implies the very opposite of weakness. Defiance combined with non-retaliatory acceptance of repression from one's opponents is active, not passive. It requires strength, and there is nothing automatic or intuitive about the resoluteness required for using non-violent methods in political struggle and the quest for Truth.

By Mohandas Gandhi

Take partial hints from that quote see if it actually applies to you, it may not at alll, i learned something from it ( maybe it was because i perverted the definition or something) i dont know..... WEll i hope that helps...

Answer 4

Don't worry what other people might be thinking. Just be yourself. I think you might be imagining that people are suspicious of you when you pass them by and don't say a word. Actually here in the u.s. in big cities people will become suspicious of a person who they don't know passes by and says nice things to them. If you pass someone you know try saying hi, hows it going, nice day to day etc, etc.

Answer 5

I think the best thing for you to try is just be yourself and just be pleasant. Once people get ti know the real you, you should be fine with the humour issue. I understand that you are from a different culture, and things are a lot different here than from your native country. Just be patient, and soon things will fall into place for you. Since I am from Canada.....Welcome to North America :D

Answer 6

Paranoia tends to affect people that way. Now your job is to set an example and remain true to yourself. Joking around is a coverup for their extreme fear. They are not aware of it. It is simply a mechanical reaction. On the bright side, this tendency diminished after Viet Nam and I expect the same will happen soon.

Answer 7

This is a common type of cultural problem that exists everywhere in the world. Both you and your host country have to make efforts to reach and understand each other.
Just be yourself - And also your "cultural" self. You are not doing anything wrong at all.

Answer 8

I'm American and i have the same problem. It just offends some people when you don't have a lot to say. Say hi, answer their questions, smile, ask the basic questions like, 'what are you doing today' and 'what are your plans for this weekend' and 'wow, im so glad it's almost summer'. try to expand on how they respond. it sometimes helps. if it doesn't, who cares? you have yourself to worry about.

Answer 9

Not all people are like those people. So don't keep quiet. Keep saying nice things to people like Hi I am...... and how are you.... What do you like to do I like to.......... So what do you think about this weather we are having? You know stuff like that and it should help you out a bit.

Answer 10

You can start with: "Hello,Good morning/afternoon /evening, how are you? etc. Slowly, you will feel easy with him and then you can exchange your views, perceptions, attitudes and politics etc. Therefore, do not hesitate to begin the process of dialogue.