ok so my mom was abusive, im not gonna get into details but it was bad enough for me not 2b able 2 live with her, i tried 2 hate her and not love her, but she didnt beat me wn i was little and acually acted like she loved me. im 14 and i live with my gramma and grampa,1/2 of me is sayin i dont want 2 c her ever again, but 1/2 of me is crying for my mommy, well the old her. is it bad that i miss her? i am not allowed 2 speak 2 her or have any sort of contact with her, but what do i do, i miss my mommy.
2007-03-03 10:12:52 · 14 answers · asked by koi 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Since you arent allowed to see or speak to her right now here is an idea to help you deal and cope a little better. Start writing in a journal of all the things you would like to talk to her about or how you are feeling and when the time is right show her the journal...
2007-03-03 10:18:20 · answer #1 · answered by courious2 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is a very hard thing to go thru, but when you are older and have kids of your own, maybe you will understand a little better. The best place for you now is with your grandparents. It's normal to want your mom and to miss and love her because...she's your mom! But when a parent is abusive like she is, you don't want to be around her because it will only damage you more. Try talking to your grandparents about how you are feeling. Maybe there can be supervised visits every once in a while.
But trust me when I say, the more times you come in contact with her, the more you will start to realize how painful your relationship is with her. It will only depress you more. Try focusing on surrounding yourself with friends who make you feel good about yourself. But talk to your grandparents about this. They should know how you are feeling.
2007-03-03 18:22:14 · answer #2 · answered by impossiblemama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart , I'm sorry to hear this, but hear are some things you should know. That's more than a 14yo. needs to go through.
Tell your grandparents you want to go to counseling. They will be able to help you better than the Internet, But for now I don't know if was drugs or whatever that made your mom change, but it must of been pretty bad for you to have been taken from her. You need to know it's OK to love someone but not be able to contact them. That also happens when someone passes away.
Whatever made her change maybe she can fix it and you can go back to her. But you really need to know that your still loved by those around you, and when you need a hug go to your grandparents. That's what were good at.
Hope this helps, holler if you need me
2007-03-03 19:53:03 · answer #3 · answered by walker9842 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By the way - you are completely normal. Emotions are neither good nor bad, they simply are. You miss your mother, makes perfect sense. I recommend asking for help, like counseling, to talk about your feelings and what to do with them. Feelings aren't good or bad, right or wrong, but there are unhealthy ways to handle some feelings, and this could be harmful to you if you don't find a way to handle this in a healthy way. Hang in there, what you are going through is completely normal and sometimes all you need to hear is that it's okay to feel the way you do. Good luck with everything...
2007-03-03 18:17:20 · answer #4 · answered by helper_for_life16 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i can relate to your question because i also live with my g-ma and g-pa. i haved lived with them since i was 14 and now i am seventeen. i dont live with my mom because she was into heavy illegal drugs and her boyfriend would abuse me in all differnt way. i am not allowed to talk or see my mon either, but i still think about her all the time and i even miss her boyfriend. like you said she was nice when i was little. they were nice to me too. there is nothing wrong with missing your mother and yes you still love her. if you had a relationship with her @ all it would probably be better when you are older. and make sure she has changed, and if you do go alone go to a public place, but i wouldnt really advise seeing her now because all it will do is cause more heart ache. nikita indiana
2007-03-03 19:16:44 · answer #5 · answered by ccoolchick15 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh sweetheart! ITS totally normal and understandable that you miss your mom. see this is what is called unconditional love-from the minute a child is born they have this for their mother and rarely can it ever be erased.NO matter what happened-you still love her because she is your mom-and thats totally fine. I dont know the situation u were in, but chances are she loves you the same way but doesnt know how to deal with things properly-maybe she needs counceling/therapy. Just remember you may not be allowed to see her right now,but trust me 4 years will pass like a flash!! And you willbe of age to make that decision for yourself...
I wish you the best honey-its going to be alright
2007-03-03 18:23:03 · answer #6 · answered by tokenwhtgrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she has some problems and needs to get better. If she was abusive towards you, and you are not allowed to talk to her, I would take the time to have the space and let her get better. This way, when you can see her again, she will be rehabilitated and you will know it's never OK to allow someone to abuse you. I am sorry for your situation, I hope it works out for you.
2007-03-03 18:19:06 · answer #7 · answered by mo_luv22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is natural for you to miss her... she is your mommy even though she put you through some crap. Talk to your grandparents and hopefully everything will get better. Good luck sweety
2007-03-03 19:24:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not wrong to miss ur mom...... every kid has a special bond w/ their mother...... and its hard to completely destroy that bond.... u just have to think of the good memories.... not the bad..... memories wont be the same as having a mom but its better than nothing and trying to convince urself to hate her......
good luck and God blessâ¥
2007-03-03 18:18:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course you do honey, no matter what she did to you shes still your mommy! just be strong, stone is hard but it doesn't have to be cold! You'll get through it,i know you will.
good luck girly,
I heartmykitties
2007-03-04 15:11:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋