My best friend for 12 years has recently split up with her boyfriend and for the past couple of weeks that she hasnt been with him all she talks about is meeting someone better. Then today another one of my friends told me that she is seeing my ex boyfriend and has even read the texts theyve sent each other, but that friend wasnt supposed to tell me but thought i had the right to know. My best friend has been lying to me about where shes been at night - shes been with him. How do i get her to confess to me, i dont want to confront her. Is she a worthwile friend to have. She really doesnt want me to know about this!
2007-03-03 09:57:30 · 25 answers · asked by Sarah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Perhaps she doesn't want to tell you because she is afraid of upsetting you. Just tell her very calmly that you know that they are seeing each other and that as he is your EX she is welcome to him and good luck to them. Problem solved.
2007-03-03 10:01:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Everyone knows that one of the code between friends is that you can't date a friends ex. Obviously she doesn't want you to find out about it because a) she knows that you will get upset and angry about it and b) because she knows that she is in the wrong.
The thing is because she has been your friend for 12 years she should have told you about the fact that she liked your ex and that she wanted to date him, she obviously doesn't think that much about your friendship as she has been lying to you.
If I were you I would confront her, but don't go in there shouting, just tell her that after 12 years of friendship you expected more and that you didn't think that she's lie to you over something like this and she what she has to say about things. If don't think that she is sincere then maybe you should consider whether you still want to be friends with her
2007-03-03 21:34:32 · answer #2 · answered by Baps . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Sarah, I understand what an awquard situation you are in, and also your best friend. Unfortunately in life we cant help who we fall in love with and its the fact that your friendship means so much to her that she hasnt the courage to tell you in fear of losing you. Put yourself in her shoes and think what you would do in that situation. He is your ex and only you know how you feel about him - have you still got feelings for him or is he out of the picture altogether? She has been your best friend for 12 years, if she could fight these feelings she has for him I'm sure she would but we all let our heart rule our head at some point in our lives. If your ex is well in the past then I shouldnt worry, if you still have feelings for him and your best friend knows this-thats another story..
You dont say how old you are but whatever, is it worth a bloke coming between 2 best friends?
Good luck, hope it resolves amicably.x
2007-03-03 10:11:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Sarah, the question for you do you have any feelings for your ex.
Your friend may not have told you because you are her best friend and she feels what she is doing would hurt your feelings.
She isn't trying to be sneaky and see him behind your back,but does'nt know how to tell you.
She may fear that you won't be her friend anymore so she is keeping quiet about it.
If it does'nt bother you that she is seeing your ex,but you are upset that she has'nt told you then you need to talk.
Ask her if she would like to talk about her and your ex,and that you really don't mind.
Once she realises you won't feel hurt i'm sure she will open up to you again.
Tell her you were'nt hurt by her dating your ex,but the fact she could'nt as your best friend tell you was what really hurt.
But you must also be careful that the friend who told you isn't trying to cause your other friend problems.
I think the best way to approach this is to tell the friend who is dating the ex that a roomer has spread about her and your ex.
And you would rather she told you than other people,then just listen to what she says.
2007-03-03 12:24:10 · answer #4 · answered by Tony 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since she is a worthwhile friend to have, accept her and her choice to see your ex, or whomever else she may choose. She obviously doesn't want to hurt you by her choice which is why she has not informed you. Whatever will be will be. They may be right for each other or not, time will tell. Be a big hearted person. Let people be free to love whomever they will. You would want the same consideration.
2007-03-03 10:10:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has looked at you, looked at him, and decided that she would rather have him in her life. if she thought she was doing nothing wrong, why is she hiding, at least you have one friend who is honest and trustworthy enough to do the right thing and tell you.
It's an unwritten rule about woman kind, that we don't play with our friends exes. Some do, and it works out ok, that's fair enough, but normally, it is deceit and betrayel and I would be so utterly furious with her. She is not a friend worth having, unless she begs for forgiveness and gets rid of him. She has to choose you now or get lost. If she chooses him, good riddence. some rules just don't get broken.
2007-03-03 10:03:30 · answer #6 · answered by CHARISMA 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Confront her, any mate worth her salt would know there's a line you just dont cross in friendships and this is one of them.
I bet she doesn't want you to know because she's knows she's being a total bit@h!
I'd get a bag of old knickers and scatter them all over her front garden and then attatch a HUGE sign to her front door saying "seeing as you like my old cast off's so much, try these for size"
Any friend who crosses a line like that is not worthy to call themselves a true friend!
2007-03-03 12:06:29 · answer #7 · answered by The Original Highbury Gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
usually id say that if she'd do that then she obviously isnt your best friend and they both deserve eachother. however it seems a tiny bit more complicated than that... she's probably on a downer from splitting up with her boyfriend and needs an ego boost, which she is gettingfrom your ex. she knows you'd be disappointed in her so is keeping it from you.
confront her about it
good luck
2007-03-03 13:42:23 · answer #8 · answered by maraesa1000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lose the best friend as soon as possible, she is no longer under the classification of best friend. She is lying and basically stealing, only what she wants is what she will go for. Good Luck.
2007-03-03 10:35:08 · answer #9 · answered by Holly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortuantely you have to confront her if you want to know the truth. If she was a worthwhile friend, then she wouldn't be lying to you, and would respect the rule of not dating your ex boyfriend. Best of luck to you.
2007-03-03 10:15:47 · answer #10 · answered by emtb9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As hard as it is a best friend should have talked to you about this. Dating your friends exes is tricky ground but at the very least she should be honest about her feelings for him and at least guage your opinion. know people can't help who thay're attracted to but you deserve some respect-which you are definitely not getting if she is telling other people about the situation. I would question whether she really is your 'best' friend..sorry
2007-03-03 10:04:16 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋