any one here who knows about child[13] psychology?

Question

son with a sever attitude problem ,wont come in when he is told tried denieing him x box play station tv computer. but he has a b in his bonet about something and wont conform.hes splitting the whole family up.please help.......

Answer 1

A start could be asking him whats up(i know you already have) Tell him that youre on his side and love him whatever, but you cant start to help him solve the problem unless you know what it is. Tell him also that whatever is up, he cant continue to disrupt the rest of the household. His behaviour is just unacceptable and certain behaviour will be punished unless you start to work it out together. You can only give him so much leeway before he gets into the habit of 'ruling the roost' and it becomes worse.
My sons problems started with a teacher hitting him and the school doing nothing about it. He had a s**t adolescence but is now really a good bloke at age 24. There is hope.

Answer 2

This is normal really, I would try not shouting at him for a while, just ignore him, teenagers are almost crazy with their hormones going haywire, poor sods. He will calm down, keep punishing him, but don't let it afffect you all. If he shouts and swears completely ignore it, this is how they train dogs, and oddly enough, it does work on kids too, eventually. The most important thing is to be consistant and never issue idle threats. If you tell him he will be punished then don't do it or let him off a few times then there is no definate guideline for his behaviour. Also, if you ignore his shitty behaviour 99% of the time, and don't once, the once you don't will immediatley reset you back to square one. Be strong, and repeat to yourself, 'my will is stronger than is', because it is, you just need to make yourself behave a certain way before he will. Good luck.

Answer 3

Attitudes are often reflective of a person's interactions with others. No one develops an attitude all by their lonesome; it is a reaction to something else.

Emotional issues (trauma, confusion, feelings of hurt, anger, betrayal) usually predate periods of attitude dysfunction. Especially with children, sudden shifts in environment can create a strong psychological or emotional disturbance within them, simply because they don't have the experience to gauge what it means. A 4 year old child only has 4 years of experience to cope with, and maybe even only 2 or 3 years of conscious awareness expereince by which to judge the world. What may be 'normal' for an adult (since they have plenty of experience to judge the frequency of the action) can be construed by the child as abnormal, fantastic, and/or overwhelming. Consequently, they overrreact to compensate for the imbalance.

A child is not an adult, with an adult's library of experiences behind them. What you know, and what your child knows, are two different things altogether. Expecting him to conform the way you understand conformity is like a calculus teacher expecting a kindergartner to be able to multiply binomial equations.

You have to teach him at the level he is capable of understanding. If you can't do that, that's what professionals are for, at least in terms of evaluating what the 'problem' is.

Answer 4

Guess what....he's a teenager...lol
Seriously though have you asked about cannabis, it's rife in schools and it does change a persons behaviour.
If it is not that and just normal teenage angst etc, make some time just for you two. Go to a football match, gym. Don't allow him out late as he'll become a street kid, whereby they become a family of their own and then get into loads of trouble.
Compromise and come to a 'deal' about what you expect of him and what he wants of you. You're in for it till he's at least 18. And even after that it's a lifetimes worry, then you worry about grandkids.
The simple rule is, is that you rule/control, he doesn't, he's a kid. Don't lose that control. You can't be his friend, you're his parent and he needs bounderies. Look at his diet too, junk food really does cause bad behaviour.
Only one consolation for you.....it gets worse...lol

Answer 5

He sounds like a perfectly normal teenage boy to me.

Answer 6

welcome to the teenage nightmare
have two teenage boys been there with both just let him know you are there for him they try to rebel against everything you say you have to keep calm let them know you want respect & if they want treated like a adult they have to behave like one
keep asking him what is wrong let him know he can talk to you & you luv him