How do I get my husband to come back to me and our kids?

Question

My husband and I have been together for about 4 years total and married for one.We have a 2yr old son and we are expecting in july.Well, This past Jan. we went on our 1 yr anniversory vac. and I thought everything was fine, I thought we were very much in love, well I still am, him and our children are all i think about. Well, the day we came home he hade plans with some buddies to watch football, I didn't mind. But somehow, sometime that night he got drunk and winded up with a young girl. Well, he denied it for a while, but out of being hurt and feeling betrayed, I left. Now, I wish I would have tried to work things out, talked to him about it , just not up and left, cause now I want nothing more than to have him back. He is the the man i married the love of my life and I want him back. Please help me.

We have talked and sometimes we really get along. He says he doesn't know what he wants right now and he needs time, but I think he still sees her from time to time. However he says he's not giving us up for her and we may can work things out.

Answer 1

Maybe he loves you as much as you love him. The only solution to this problem is to talk to him....ask him does he want the marriage to work? Depending on his reaction, it will be only then will you know what he really wants. Maybe he wants the marriage as much as you do, but without having a serious, honest talk with him, you will never know. If he is happy not being married to you, then there is not a lot you can do. Its not too late to sort this out, but when you talk to him and when/if he wants the marriage as much as you, you need to stipulate some terms....one of them being....you both go to counselling because as much as you love him and want to be with him, it will only be time until the doubts happen again. If this marriage is going to survive and become strong then both of you need to get some help. I certainly would not be going back with him until these issues are sorted out. Talk to him, find out where you stand and if he wants the marriage then counselling is imperative. If he doesnt want the marriage then you will have no option but to move on....maybe you will need counselling if that is the outcome. Whatever the outcome you do need some help to come to terms with the whole situation.

I hope it turns out the way you want it to.

Answer 2

I am sorry that you have been betrayed by one you love, it hurts when that happens.
Don't blame yourself too much for leaving, though a little more time to reflect on the incidence would have landed you a different solution.
There are several ways you can get back with your hubby since you are the one who left. However, your departure afforded him the liberty and space for him to engage and strengthen the illicit relationship, it might take a lot more to break in now than then. One thing I can tell is that he is as concerned about the children as you are, even though he might maintain an flinching exterior.
The first thing I would suggest is to call him over to talk.If he has not contacted you since you left, be prepared to make tough decisions. Walk back into your house, say nothing about the issue. He will take it that you went away to cool down over the issue. If things have gone out hand, be prepare to move on and share the children's lives apart. Not an easy thing to do and experience.

I pray for the best outcome for you and your family.

Answer 3

First of all you need to stop acting like a brat. You can't just fly off the handle and leave because he make a mistake. Believe me what he did was wrong, but you should have given him an opportunity to fix himself. He has to get his crap together and act like a husband and father. If he decides that he doesn't want to be married, I would take a step back and look at the situation. If it was something that you guys rushed into and he's not mature enough to stay married then cut you're losses and be a mom to the babies that you've made.

Answer 4

Well, humm hard to say with out knowing how he feels about the situation.. does he want u back? or is actting as if he's fine with the arrangements the way they are..??

Im thinking, with u being the one that left.. he may be thinking its over cause u want it to be over and he's not even trying because he's thinking u've made ur decision and he has no chance of getting u back..

Or

This wasnt a mistake of sleeping with the girl, and he finally found his out, which if thats the case, he doesnt want to be married, and he finally found his excuse to get out, in which case u wont be able to force him to come back, he's got to want to come back..

So its really hard to know whats going through his mind based on ur question but i suppose if i were u , id talk to him ask him what he thinks u both should do now.. to find out if its really over or not.. and if he's willing to work on it, then give it another shot, if he wants out, then let him out cause trust me holding onto a man that doesnt want u , only hurts more in the long run, he's got to want to come back and make it work, just as much as u want it to happen if its going to work..

Good luck.

Answer 5

If he is true in that he is not giving up on ya'll then ask him to move back or vice versa. You did the right thing leaving at least he knows you will not tolerate this behavior. You alone and the both of you together will need some type of counseling in order for ya'll to be able to deal with what has happen. Don't give up on him but don't allow yourself to hold on to someone that does not want to go through the proper channels to resolve this one way or another.

Answer 6

hmmm if you want him fight for him however in saying this remember what he did and can you forget and forgive him despite the fact he was drunk and we all know guys cant get that hard if they are that drunk they cant remember for godsakes ... you had every right to walk out and truely if he wants you and the kids and it was a mistake he would be on his hands and knees begging you back honey .... dont let him have that control to use you as a back up when he has finished playing his games and getting his freedom to do whatever he is out there doing ... be a strong woman and stand up to him and if he doesnt want you and the kids today then move on he never will !!!!!!!!!!! as hard as it seems you are just destined for heartache if you dont !!! ur kids will be fine with you raising them and you will find happiness somewhere else ... he wont cause he is a LOSER !!!!

Answer 7

i am so sorry for you, but I see you fell for the old 'I was drunk ' routine? well anyway call him and tell him you'd like for you both to see a counselor, together, if he won't go-go alone,
what he did is a sin and immoral, it is good for you to forgive him, but i fear that behavior will continue if you are too emotional--and simply run back to him, this is time when you need to be strong,
try to find strength through Jesus, in prayer, get your rest, you are pregnant, have quiet loving times with your toddler, i know your heart is broken but this time will pass, if he could actually want out of the relationship, at this time in your lives--he is the kind of man with no conscience, and be evil in your life anyway.
I know a girl who went through this, she lost much weight and many sleepless nights, still, he would not change-she got involved with church, and today she is at peace and with her young child, and he is still the pathetic fool trying to get young girls. Show your husband that you are strong, and you find your strength from God, not any human. Be nice and talk sweetly,, but remember these days who knows- he could give you a deseise, there will ALWAYS be young girls who sleep around, so it's him who has to have a change of heart, its him who took vows with you, not any young girl. [Even when drunk a person knows they are having sex.]

Answer 8

Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/q3oea

Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.

The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.

Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.

Answer 9

he slept with another woman!! Dont be an idiot. you don't miss him you probabaly just miss the companionship. how could you love someone that would betray you. your self-esteem is really low after going through such a tragedy. right now would not be the best time to go back because your vulnerable. give yourself a time to get your worth back before you even consider reconciling. you won't be able to trust him and it will only end up hurting you more. be strong. good luck

Answer 10

Maybe a little of his own medicine would wake him up a bit. He already knows that you are just waiting for him no matter what. What would he do if you had a "friend" who might take his place. I bet you at the least would get a reaction