After I buy myself expensive things..?

Question

When I go shopping for myself.. I feel bad. I feel guilty when I buy myself expensive things. I don't know why. I don't have bills to pay (still live at home). Even the littlest thing - such as lip gloss I feel bad for. Example: I refuse to buy myself perfume but I have no problem buying other people perfume/cologne. I feel good when I buy other people expensive things though. I want to want to pamper myself and take care of myself without feeling bad. How do I do this? And is it normal to feel that way? Does this happen to anyone else?

Answer 1

well you sound like a very nice person. you feel guilty pampering yourself because you probably don't want to be selfish. you feel guilty because there are other people out there who don't get to do that for themselves. but DON'T feel guilty! it is your money, you do what you wish with it! there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. i was always told take care of yourself first. and it is so nice of you to buy other people things, yes it is a good feeling and that is where true happiness comes in. there are too many people that are not like you, don't change! but treat yourself and feel good about it. :)

Answer 2

Guilt is a loaded word. Everyone feels it, but they don't always know why and don't always trust why. Yet, even if they can't trust it, they can't ignore it either. That's because 1) people actually crave the opinions of others and 2) people want to be 'good'.

However, not all feelings of guilt do what they are supposed to do. Sometimes, guilt actually does the opposite; it creates the situation where the person feels compelled to do the 'guilty' act, which causes repercussions and repression, which expresses itself later in doing the guilty act as a sort of revenge against the original guilt, which brings about more guilt to replace the guilt that was gotten rid of, etc etc etc etc.

In your case, my first question is: who taught you that shopping is bad for yourself? Nobody feels bad naturally about something; it is always the result of someone else telling us such. And it might not be that someone taught you that 'shopping' is bad, it could be that someone taught you that spending money (or treating yourself to anything) is bad.

Spending money, in and off itself, is not bad. Context, the events and reasons surrounding the action, help to define whether something is 'good' or 'bad'. Besides, if spending money was 'bad', nobody would buy anything, which means nobody would be able to work because there would be no factories or anything producing anything.

Because you believe spending money on yourself is bad (again, the reasons could be very complex), you assuage your feelings by channelling your actions into what you believe to be 'good' actions. Since spending money for other people is soemthing that most people consider 'good', being able to buy people the things you feel you can't buy for yourself does two things 1) it allows you to buy the thing you want with no guilt and 2) it allows you the feeling of having done something 'good' because you spent money on others.

A great way to assuage your feelings is to strike a bargain with them: compromise. Set aside so much money every month (or every payday) to spend on yourself. It can be as big or as small as your conscious can handle. The important this is to make sure that it is an amount you feel 'ok' with. Then, after paying your bills and doing everything 'good' on your list, you have that 'allowance' to spend on the things that you want. If you don't have enough to buy it this month (maybe you want a new perfume that is very rich but very expensive) then save it til next month. When you buy it the next month, you won't feel guilty because 1) you only spent the money you saved for your self and didn't use any other money and 2) it was done in a way that satisfies both your feelings of restraining yourself (you waited til you could emotionally afford it) and of indulging yourself (you really really wanted it).

How we achieve our goals can be as important as achieving them, which means we must learn to work with ourselves in order to maximize the effort. However, if you cannot set aside even a tiny amount to spend on yourself, then perhaps you have strong issues of self-esteem that need to be talked over with a professional. All of us deserve to have the things that we want, (cheap, expensive, whatnot) so the only thing wrong is how we go about getting them.

Answer 3

I'm sure it happens to a lot of other people. You should tell yourself that you deserve such things. It is not selfish to buy yourself things. I mean you cannot expect someone else to love you and treat you well if you don't love yourself. It is perfectly normal to buy yourself expensive things. In order to pamper yourself without feeling bad just take baby steps and start buying yourself small things step by step and always remember that you are worth it.

Answer 4

Yes, I know people who this happens to. It's normal sometimes but you just have to learn to spend time on your own needs too. You deserve something expensive every once in a while, just like everyone else. You shouldn't feel bad! If you have the means to buy yourself something nice, do it. You'll feel good.

Answer 5

i think of, that's counting on your earnings and Spending without the cost reductions for the Emergency, Makes You in charge or you could purchase the failings with the Others money, without Your Contribution to Them could Makes You in charge, that's count on your habit, completely. So, Make your self to regulate Your Spending with the unfastened affiliation and Likes of Your cloth issues, without hassle, to rearrange Your purchase with the unfastened strategies, consequently to the Beneficiary of your self and the worldwide, with the deepest, affordable, and the Social with the sentiments of the Fulfilled Liking with the delight interior the determining to purchase.

Answer 6

maybe you just feel guilty for "wasting" money.....It probably happens to a lot of people