My wife is a very sweet woman but she has emotional problems a few weeks a month. It's like a roller coaster and I can see she hates the ground I walk on. She saw a commercial regarding PMDD and said that's me! I read the symptoms and it's basically she hates me and herself for two weeks and doesn't like being married and we get into huge fights. Them she's OK, then back again. Anybody had this and what did you do to help it before your husband walked out on you? I'm almost to that point. It's abusive for like 2 weeks a month.
2007-03-03 09:25:36 · 17 answers · asked by survivor 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
PMDD- I cant say I agree with the new "condition" they have come up with... but I would say - does your wife realize how she is acting? that is the first step - sometimes we as women are told basically that 'that time of the month' is just something that screws us up and there isnt anything we can do about it - I had a hormone imbalance and your wife sounds exactly like me - i was abusive 2 wks out of every month - they put me on provera from day 1-14 of my cycle and I didnt think it changed me much until one of my friends made a joke about " well, just warn me when its that time so i can get out of your way" - I told him it was that time already and had been for the past 3 days and he looked at me and said "are you serious? you havent hit anything or anyone and havent exploded once- what happened?" I didnt realize that it made me that violent and abusive until i got meds for it and my friends pointed it out - i will say though, later i was diagnosed as bipolar - so its a tough call but back then taking hormones from day 1-14 took away the abusivness... If she realizes that she fits that description, during her nice weeks, try to point out to her how much she hurts you emotionally during those weeks and help her get treatment - and positive reinforcement helps too... in otherwords, if she gets on the meds and it works, just make sure to mention that shes alot nicer... :)
if they dont work, try not to give up on her as long as she is willing to try to get help - sometimes the timing is just coincidental - you can be bipolar and cycle like that and it has nothing to do with your hormones - and she would need a different medication for that...
my husband nearly walked out on me several times before i got a correct diagnosis and found meds that worked for me - i was very abusive to him but didnt really realize it until afterwards and then i couldnt even remember why i was yelling at him and couldnt remember 1/2 of what i had yelled at him.... that being said though - if she isnt willing to get help- LEAVE ... i grew up with a non medicated bipolar mom and i know the kind of emotional destruction and scars it leaves...
Once I got on meds that worked I told my husband, if I ever get like that with the kids or you again- point it out to me, give me a week but if im not better, tell our daughter that mommy is sick and take the kids and leave... hes had to do it once when they had to switch my meds... it sucks being bipolar, but if you deal with the reality of it, you have to be prepared to do what you need to in order to take care of yourself - no one should be emotionally abused - man woman or child... and just because you get a diagnosis, doesnt mean that you have an excuse to do it or for you, just because she might get a diagnosis doesnt mean that it makes it okay for her to abuse you like that.
2007-03-03 09:49:35 · answer #1 · answered by unimatrix_42 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I know about this, and it can be devastating. She almost becomes another person, right?
I'm pretty sure that she can get some help with this. It has to do with an abnormal swing in hormones and I'm fairly certain that there is treatment for it. I've heard that there are ways to level it out somewhat so that the mood swings are not so dramatic.
You're correct. This could end your marriage. She needs to see a competent medical professional (I'd suggest a female...and that she goes during the "good" part of the month at least the first time), and I suggest that you go with her and be as supportive as possible. Get to know what to do and how to help her through these dark times. You might want to get some counseling yourself to help you cope.
If she refuses to get help and/or counseling, give her an ultimatum and stick to it. Trust me, this rarely gets any better without intervention, and it might get a whole lot worse. You wouldn't be very wise if you stuck this out for a lifetime of grief and verbal/emotional abuse.
Don't wait - get going with this. You could really be her savior if you act now and stay close to her all the way.
2007-03-03 09:39:10 · answer #2 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some woman get what you call PMS, it's the time before you get your menstrual period. This doesn't give a person the right to abuse you because their hormones are out of whack. The best thing for your wife to do is go to her doctor and get a medication that is hormone related. This will help enormously! Sometimes a spouse will act in a bad way because they can and get away with it. Don't allow this to go on, it will ruin your marriage. Loving your mate 24\7 you don't carry on this way. Maybe shes not happy and uses this kind of attitude to make herself feel better. Give her a choice whether to smarten up or move on. No One Needs This Treatment! Good Luck Cocoa
2007-03-03 09:44:42 · answer #3 · answered by cocoa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Courtney Love
2016-03-28 22:31:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both know what to do. She needs medical attention. THere is treatment for whatever she has - it may be depression, pmdd, or other issues. But it wont' get better until it gets treated.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and help your wife. She's crying out for that medical attention. She doesn't want to go through this but she needs your support.
2007-03-03 09:39:08 · answer #5 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad to hear that you love your wife! God Bless you guys for having to put up with us emotional women. Remind her that you do love her and that it would mean alot to you if she would ,Please see her OB Gyn about getting a test for this PMDD to make sure that's the problem and possibly getting on on some medication for this . If she refuses tell her how strongly you feel about it and that's it's affecting you badly too. I wish you all the best!
2007-03-03 09:36:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw, Your wife needs to go to the doctor and be diagnosed, and the doctor can give her the proper mediciation to help her, It will make your life and her feel so much better.
She needs to be honest with the doctor and tell him, completly how she feels...so he can properly diagnose her.
Im sorry your going through this..I have a friend who goes through the same thing with his wife, Its so terribly sad, His wife has never wanted to stay on the medicine consistently and has made him lose contact with his family...
Take her to the doctor, and get it under control...
It can be treated, and she will be ok...
Hope this helps some...
2007-03-03 09:36:43 · answer #7 · answered by ~Annette~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly she may not be able to control this. It sounds like she has a Disorder of some kind. Take her to a Doctor and tell him whats going on. There is medication out there that can help her..
2007-03-03 09:57:03 · answer #8 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her problems go beyond hormones, although it is a convenient excuse.
She needs to find out why she's abusive and full of rage.
If you're not safe, leave. Things like this usually escalate.
2007-03-03 09:34:25 · answer #9 · answered by T Time 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really truly love her, you won't leave her. Leaving her mostly likely means you don't love her. You should support her and go with her to see the doctor and get some support. She'll be fine and caring about her this way, will make her feel better and she will be cured soon. =)
2007-03-05 13:28:18 · answer #10 · answered by Jen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋