What is the proper use of "whom" and "who"?

Answer 1

Very simple rules of thumb are nice, and some insist on them, but real spoken language may refuse to follow them!

Originally it was a simple matter of "use 'who' when the word is the subject of the sentence (or clause), 'whom' when the word is an object".

But that's not quite the case anymore [pun intended]. In REAL spoken English the basic rule is now "Use 'who', EXCEPT right after a preposition ("for whom...?" but "who is it for?")"


A little explanation:

Notice that according to the original rule you SHOULD say both "Whom is this for?" But almost noone would say that! On the other hand, people often DO follow the rule when they say "To whom should I address the letter?"

The problem is that Modern English, unlike Old English and many other languages (including Latin) makes VERY little use of case endings to distinguish the role a noun or pronoun plays in a sentence (word order is far more critical). The only instance where we change the form according to case is several of the personal pronouns ("I/he/she/we/they" for subject, "me/him/her/us/them" for object). As for relative pronouns, "which" uses the same form for subject or object. That leaves "who-m" as the ONE that stands somewhere in the middle. Hence the confusion.


So, how do we decide when to use "who" and "whom"?

Again. I do NOT agree on the simple "substitution" rule. It is useful for distinguishing "you and I" (subject) from "you and me" (object), and it may be "formally" correct for who/whom, but thanks to the minimizing of case forms in English, scarcely anyone actually SPEAKS that way (and if they do, they get odd looks!) In fact, I sincerely doubt that those who have given you this sort of answer even try to follow it consistently.

Incidentally, note here that I'm focusing mainly on IN-formal use, that is, everyday speech. And we must remember that when informal differs from formal that does NOT mean the informal use is "wrong"! (Nor is it "uneducated" or "slang".) It's simply different! (And, as I noted above, it is based on a basic feature of English, viz., the importance of word order.)

So here is my basic rule of thumb, which is based on normal English WORD ORDER. For normal, informal use, that is, outside of formal writing (where someone demands it of you!):

Feel free to use "who" in ALL instances --whether as subject or object-- EXCEPT when you the word falls IMMEDIATELY after a preposition (where by definition it cannot be the subject). In that instance use "whom". Thus we say "TO whoM it may concern", "WITH whoM are you speaking?", "FOR whoM the bell tolls". But when the preposition is moved we say things like "who are you speaking with?". Of course, most English speakers simply avoid the preceding preposition as much as possible, since it too sounds "stuffy".

Answer 2

Who always refers to the subject (the person performing the action). Whom always refers to the person receiving the action of the verb. for example, in the sentence, "The boy who kicked the rock, hurt his foot". who refers to the subject (the boy). In the following sentence, "The girls to whom I gave the book, wore a blue coat. The subject is I and the verb is gave. The girls is the receiver of the action, therefore you would use whom. Hope this helps!

Answer 3

“Who” is the subjective pronoun; “whom” is the object. As simple as that distinction is, many people have difficulty deciding on the proper usage of “who” and “whom” in sentences.

A technique that works really well is to simply substitute the personal pronoun “he/him” or “she/her” for “who/whom.” If he or she would be the correct form, the proper choice is WHO.” If “him” or “her” would be correct, use “WHOM.”

For example:

- Mrs. Dimwit consulted an astrologer WHOM she met in Seattle. (SHE met him in Seattle.)

- Jones is the man WHOM I went fishing with last spring. (I went fishing with him.)

- Joyce is the girl WHO got the job. (SHE got the job.)

- WHOM can we turn to in a time of crisis? (Can we turn to HER?)

This rule works most of the time, for everyday usage of the two words.

Answer 4

Here's the best way to remember it: If the answer to the question would be "I" then the correct word for the question is "who." If the answer to the question would be "me" then the correct word for the question is "whom."

Who is getting that present?
I am.

To whom are you giving that present?
To me.

Answer 5

Tony Chen's answer is correct. Basically, "who" is ALWAYS a subject. Otherwise, the correct word is "whom."
As a hint, substitute the words "he" and "him" for "who" and "whom." Where you would normally use "he," use "who." Where you would normally use "him," use "whom."

Answer 6

whom is the direct object. who is the subject