they were married 30 yrs she left him when he started seeing someone and it became serious the wife and grown children wanted to go back together. he did and now says he made a mistake, does the person he was involved with pick up the phone and talk to him. he si still living with his wife and has been for 3 weeks. the wife was gone 8 monthes, the other woman dated him for 6 months. he says that he cannot understand how he could fall in love in 6 months verses 30 something yrs with someone.
2007-03-03 08:44:04 · 10 answers · asked by dd 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The wife disrespected the marriage by getting involved with another man. He met someone else he fell in love with. Of course you can fall in love with someone else in 6 months. He seems like this pawn who was coersed into going back to his wife because its what she wanted. He would be finding it very hard to trust her again and probably thinking of the wonderful times he spent with his girlfriend. The reason the wife walked out was probably the same reason he could fall in love with someone else. The marriage was stale...the wife found someone else, the husband found someone else. The wife probably came back because it didnt work out with the new man. If she has gone back without either of them getting counselling, the relationship is doomed. There were problems in the marriage a long time before either of them found someone else and if those problems havent been dealt with then the same thing can and probably will happen again. The husband is probably there out of responsibility only. If he is calling his lover saying hes made a mistake then I would hear him out....his wife was the one who started this whole situation. I will say it again....of course its possible for someone to fall in love in 6 months. Feelings dont lie.....the husband needs to understand that. He can either stay in a stale marriage or move on with love in his life.
2007-03-03 08:58:36 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what you are saying , is that he started having an affair, got caught, and she left him and he got her to come back home and now that she is there he is trying to get the other woman back so he will have his cake and eat it too. I would tell the other woman that she should not have anything to do with him until he moves out and leaves her and the kids the house. When he moves out and get his own place and it doesn't have to be a secret that you are seeing him , (to make sure he is not lying) then I would date him if you both feel that way. If he can't be honest with someone that he was married to for 30 years and still is and living in the same house, what makes you think you can trust him? After all you are just,,,the other woman.
2007-03-03 08:53:47 · answer #2 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run far, run fast. Why put yourself in the middle of a game like this? If he's willing to be selfish enough to put his wife of 30 years through this not once, but twice - then what will he be willing to put his girlfriend of 6 months through? The first time, ok I'll buy he could still be a decent guy who screwed up and handled things bad, got overwhelmed with emotions, blah blah blah. But the same thing twice? The exact same lie to his wife of 30 years, the same relationship behind her back when she's putting herself on the line trying to trust him again? That's beyond selfish.
2007-03-03 08:54:37 · answer #3 · answered by romipenne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not in love he's in heat. He just had something different after 30 years, assuming that's the only one of course, but he would probably like to have his cake and eat it too, like any man, it doesn't work that way. He's in love with his wife, he has to be to stay with her 30 years and the other woman needs to forget about him and leave him alone! Have some respect for yourself too, you can do better than that for yourself, don't find a married one who's just looking for adventure.
2007-03-03 08:57:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The person should not pick up the phone and talk to him. If he is someone else's husband, he should not be calling the other person in the first place. Being the "other woman" is not glamorous or fair--it's humiliating and miserable. Try to move on and find someone who has no familial obligations and will live to make YOU happy, not just himself. Sorry for your troubles, but you can definitely do better than second best! Best of luck to you!
2007-03-03 09:00:24 · answer #5 · answered by mhlsister 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok from what i am reading the man wife left him... 2 months later he got a gf..and after they were together 6 months he left the gf for the wife.. who now wanted him back.. run as fast as you can.. he sounds like he dont really know what he wants... if his children were little i would say give him a break.. but sense they are grown then he should know what he wanted the gf or the wife
2007-03-03 08:58:42 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Which person are you, it helps if you put names in of course not their real names it is a very confusing message.
Which mistake did he say he made the one leaving the wife or the one taking her back.
If your the other women (I am asssuming this because the message is so confusing) then you struck out he is back with her.
He had a good time and went back home don't call him.
2007-03-03 09:00:33 · answer #7 · answered by Lou 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have a sticky situation. But i say if there are no children involved with the other woman. I say that the wife should take her husband back with some rules of course.
2007-03-03 08:49:22 · answer #8 · answered by southern_cutti3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
confident, no longer a satisfied existence, in spite of the incontrovertible fact that that's interior of your powers to dodge it from being an entire life of misery. the subject with the final guy is obviously a distinction in thought and consequently value of your conferences. For you - an entire worldwide of strategies and thoughts is in the back of it. For him - in simple terms a promise of a speedy, no string linked, romance. IF he enjoyed you, you will been together 3 years in the past. in spite of the incontrovertible fact that, he's married to the girl he loves, in spite of the excuses for his "no instruct". realize it and a futility of any further contacts. do no longer provide him a delight of seeing your harm. that's humiliating for you, and kinda stroking his ego. think of which you have never waited for him, and behave consequently. So, divorce your husband and get busy with all different interesting and substantial stuff on your existence (occupation? pastimes?), once you're the two legally and emotionally unfastened. once you quit searching for romance, it is going to discover you.
2016-10-02 08:11:17 · answer #9 · answered by grimon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's messed up. It's best to stay far away from this man.
2007-03-03 09:01:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋