went to turkey in Jan fell in love with him he wants to marry me. He worked in bazar selling dance costumes, speak to him every day on msn and he phones and texts me regularly. He doesnt want any of my money as as he said when I get divorced he wants me to draw up a prenuptuial agreement stataing every thing that I own will go to my son and not him.
2007-03-03 08:35:45 · 23 answers · asked by christine c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, it is a difficult question...The answer is basically give it some time. I met my husband who is Turkish. I have a child from a previous marriage...I moved to Turkey while he went to the military for 18 months. I wanted to see how his family treated me without him around. They treated me well. We lived together when he returned. He asked me to marry him, and I told him if he really loved me then he would wait atleast 5 years. I supported myself when he was gone. I never "loaned" any body any money. They never asked. If they had I would have told them "I would like to help but, I don't have enough..." You know how it is... When my husband returned from the military, we lived together. We split the bills. Period. I did not work, but helped him part-time with his work. But, I had some money coming in each month to live on. My child came first. I made it clear, very clear, never to come between my child and I. Never. After 6 years of living together, I said I was ready to marry him. We married, 2 years later we had our 1st child and then a 2nd. We have been married for 15 years. It worked, continues to work for us. It is still difficult at times with the cultural differences. However, we do discuss things, he not a "typical" Turkish man. He is very open minded. Understanding, and patient. He helps, cook, clean and watch the kids, and gets along with my child from my 1st marriage. But, as I said before, time. If he really loves YOU, then he will do it your way. When we went back to "my home" he paid his own way. He didn't want my family to think he was using me. Any way, take your time, a lot of time. Life here is not easy. Things can be very slow when you want something done. Its the small things that drive you crazy. I made it very clear 15 years ago. He is the man, he will support this family, provide a home etc. He has done that and more. I have been lucky. But, I know others that have not. They would have learned if they would have given it TIME. Good luck.
2007-03-03 10:20:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear, are you sure about him?!? How long do you know him? Has he met your son? I may sound harsh, but a Turkish man selling dance costumes in bazaar would not be a dream man for me. I don't have anything against people from Turkey, I actually had a boy-friend long time ago. I am glad it did not lead to anything serious, because our cultures are so different and I would never be able to adapt to living there. When my ex started to ask me to buy him the phone so that he could call me any time - that was it. Asta lavista, baby! It was very cheeky and he violated my trust because the money was what he wanted. I am just saying - make no mistake and don't let him fool you. A man, who says "I don't want your money" has obviously thought about having them. I know, it's all romantic and you don't want to hear it - but be careful.
2007-03-03 08:44:51 · answer #2 · answered by Alyssa Macey 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wake up and smell the coffee, i read about this kind of thing every week in papers and magazines.
You met him in June and he claims to love you, how many other women do you think he's said that to over the holiday period?
he's probably got scores of women in the very same situation right now, and he's sitting back in turkey with his wife and kid's rubbing his hand's together and having a good laugh at your expense.
you barely know this man and yet he's already bringing money into the equation,even though he's saying he's not after any of it.
Go back to turkey without a pot to pi$$ in and i bet you wont seem as attractive, he's not after a loving relationship he's after cold hard cash and when he's bled you dry and made sure his family are taken care of you'll be kicked to the curb without a second thought.
Holiday romances are fine and dandy but dont get sucked in by a man who has made it his life's mission to rip off the female population!
2007-03-03 11:51:29 · answer #3 · answered by The Original Highbury Gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend met and married a Turkish dancer when she worked over there as a holiday rep. Although they have remained together, the differences in their cultures are so great that it has caused so many problems that I would have walked a long time ago.
Having said that, everyone is different and your man could be the man of your dreams. Do what you feel is right. Good luck
2007-03-03 08:41:19 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well dodgy,they fall in love very easily.There was a article in a magazine from a woman,she got divorced,went to live there,he worked long hours,she stayed in a flat over his brothers bar.His brother asked her to lend him money until a cheque cleared,she did two weeks later when she asked for it back,he kicked off on her.Don't think your liven here for free! the man who she give everything up for was involved in the scam,his wife was not dead. Its a cruel game.
2007-03-03 09:32:42 · answer #5 · answered by RAINBOW 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he travels to see you then you start taking him more seriously. I would get over your first divorce before starting a new relationship or even marriage. If you didn't have doubts you wouldn't be asking us, you know he wants citizenship with or with out your money. He can still take your money while your married to him.
2007-03-03 08:45:00 · answer #6 · answered by Lou 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Which turnip wagon did you just fall off of. I am a gringo living in Panama and women from 3 different countries say similar things to all of the gringo men here and it always works out differently. Don't listen and do not trust. Remember the fun, but you are nothig more than him getting out of where ever he is.
2007-03-03 08:42:05 · answer #7 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
dear Christine,
If he wants to come to the U.K and get Married, you have to get "permission to Marry" Him now according to the new rules at U.K Home Office. So , if he is really attracted to you and you really want to be with him, take your time because if he is just after a new life in "Blighty" and thinks he can kid his way into your life through Heathrow or Dover, he will be in for a real kick in the short and curlys! His goose will be cooked !
2007-03-03 08:47:19 · answer #8 · answered by Latin Techie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i were you i would leave him to the Turkish women, not being funny, but i think the men in turkey see things differently to us , and i think that , not just men , when people want something they will say anything, and once they have it , its a totally different ball game . I hope you make the right decision, for your sake, good luck!
2007-03-03 19:42:24 · answer #9 · answered by honey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know a woman who did this, after 6 months he divorced her and left her in loads of debt. He had his way in to the country though. Why not see if he wants you to go and live there, with him supporting you til you get a job? If its true love he will.
2007-03-03 08:41:13 · answer #10 · answered by jeanimus 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋