This is a very important question to me. I've been tutoring a high school student, who is now 15, for about a year now. We've grown to really care about each other, and I love her a lot. We have a good relationship, and I tutor her often, yet she still feels stupid and has very poor grades. I think that she has a lot of potential and is very capable in this world. At this point, she says she wants to become a chef. Although I think it's important to encourage her interest in becoming a chef as well, my question here is how to inspire her IN GENERAL...she hangs out with what seems to be a "bad" crowd, and I can definitely see her getting into alcohol and maybe even drugs very soon (as of yet, I don't think she drinks or has tried drugs, but many of her friends have). What can I do to help her realize how much potential she has? I don't think she will ever become a great student, but I want her to accept this about herself and realize all the potential she DOES have-loving,loyal,strong..
2007-03-03 07:37:18 · 7 answers · asked by christina rose 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
In saying that I want her to accept that she may not be the best student and to realize the potential she does have, I mean this: I want her to do her best. I want her to earn the best grades she can. I want her to accept that C's are ok. She's said numerous times that she's stupid, and I know that she thinks this about herself (in terms of academics, at least). She gets so stressed and overwhelmed about school, and doesn't believe in herself, and deals with this by just giving up. I know that she can do better (she's gotten Ds and Fs on a number of occasions). I want her to understand that doing her best is all that matters, and to accept that she has trouble in school but not get discouraged by this and just drop out mentally. I want her to understand that when she tells herself that she's stupid, this is her "inner demon," in a sense, trying to keep her from reaching her full potential. I just want her to understand that even tho she may never be a model student, she has everything
2007-03-03 08:26:00 · update #1
she needs within herself to be a healthy, happy, and successful person. Does that clear things up?
2007-03-03 08:26:55 · update #2
First, you are to be commended for helping this girl!
If she wants to be a chef, could you enroll in a class with her? A community college near me offers inexpensive classes one evening a week...maybe you could do something like that? It would be fun for both of you and keep her away from bad influences at least once a week...
And, you may have done this, but...I would actually say to her what you said here....that you think she has so much potential and actually verbalize to her that you will do whatever you can to help her attain her dreams. I teach teens and sometimes even when they have a good relationship with you, they don't have the skills/life experiences to know that you'd really actively help them out.
Good luck :)
2007-03-03 07:44:10 · answer #1 · answered by christine_ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How kind of you to tutor this girl, and to care about her. She doesn't know yet that school isn't everything, that there is so much more to life than schoolwork and grades. Plenty of people are not "book smart" but do very very well in life. I like the idea the earlier writer had about both of you taking a course in being a chef--that could get her started in actually working toward being a chef. And you would no doubt become a better cook as a consequence of the course too! (again proving my point that anyone who volunteers always comes away from the experience far richer than they were before) Anyway, one step at a time, just get her going on one goal and when she accomplishes some progress in that goal, that will improve her self-image and help her stay away from bad influences. I guess it is too late to get her in sports? Playing sports for a while helps adolescent girls avoid bad influences and premarital sex at an early age.
Good luck, and aren't you kind to be so concerned!
2007-03-03 08:47:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your last sentence sums it up. If you dont feel that she has the potentional how can you be positive in relating to her? Ask her about her home life, is there trouble? Teach her that relationships should enhance her life, not hold her back. And teach her to know the difference between positive and negative relationships. Drugs and alcohol are a cry for help. They are a sign of low self esteem. She is looking for something outside that she cannot find within herself. Let her know that these things will hold her back and anyone she hangs around with doing these things will hold her back. Encourage her to set her own goals. Ask her what interests her. Steer her toward schools that would help her excel in reaching those goals. Also impress upon her the importance of graduating from high school and continue to tutor her in the subjects she's having trouble in. But, again, it seems that you've given up on her. That will give her permission to give up on herself. If you don't believe in her then she needs to find another tutor who will.
2007-03-03 08:16:52 · answer #3 · answered by cybermom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he choose to bypass to penitentiary for statutory rape? At his age, and thanks to her age, this could be a legal and not a misdemeanor. A minor can date an person in specific circumstances (like she's 17 and he's nineteen), yet he isWAY too previous for her. additionally, he's a 21year previous warm blooded male. he will choose intercourse quicker or later and could date women his own age. what 21 twelve months previous needs a rape case on his arms -actual or invented- if something is going bitter. All he'd could desire to do is smash up along with her and he or she would be able to call the law enforcement officers as a results of fact she's bitter and desperate. I additionally don't understand what a GROWN guy could choose to do with a TEENAGED female! Do adult men that age fairly desire to talk approximately tenth grade math issues and Justin Bieber?he'd be a taxi motive force and a father determine, no longer an substantial different. At her age, she has no longer something to furnish different than a heat physique and he won't be able to even legally touch that.
2016-10-02 08:06:44 · answer #4 · answered by cavallo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let her know that if she makes the right choices in life she will become successful and that you are there to back her up in her dreams.
2007-03-03 07:47:15 · answer #5 · answered by Calais 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is not a CHILD just to correct you, so PLEASE don't treat her like one! Teens HATE it when people do that!
2007-03-03 17:36:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dreams should not be chased. They should be welcomed. Why would you want her to chase them? Do you secretly despise her? Are you envious of her youth? Please, leave her alone. Let her do what she wants. Don't teach her to chase her dreams!
2007-03-03 07:42:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 5⤋