Would you marry someone with bipolar disorder who is in control of her life?

Question

I have been taking medication for 5 years and have not had any serious mood problems since then. I am responsible, support myself, have a good job, and a lot of friends. Do you think men would worry about marrying me because of the bipolar disorder? Would it bother you that your potential wife would have to take medication for the rest of her life? How is taking medication for bipolar disorder any different from taking medication for asthma, or diabetes? Why do you think it scares people so much? People with bipolar disorder are able to live happy, productive lives as long as they take care of themselves.

Answer 1

it shouldn't matter as long as you are on your meds. even if you weren't taking them, he should love you for who you are, not what you were.i have to take meds for high blood pressure for the rest of my life, whats the difference. it didn't stop my husband from getting to know me. that is like saying one day she might die from a heart attack and i don't want to be caught up with her. do you understand what i am trying to say. you are worrying about the wrong things. you are okay trust me i know. good luck. and worry about what you are going to cook for dinner. you will be just fine.

Answer 2

My husband married me - but of course, we didn't know I was bipolar then, and I'm sure he's kicked himself a few times over the years!!!
Honestly... if your bipolar is controlled, that's a big plus. It shows that you're serious about treatment and staying well, and also shows concern for those who care about you.
My biggest concerns would not be the meds. You're right, it's no different than taking meds for diabetes. BUT, in the case of bipolar, you know that there will probably come a time when the meds don't work, and finding a new med/dosage can be difficult. Those periods of adjustment can be extremely rough on a marriage. I know my husband has a hard time with my episodes - he hates not being able to DO anything about it but sit by and watch.
Manic episodes can be disastrous to a marriage - I'm amazed my husband is still married to me after the 2 that I've had since our wedding.
Another concern is that bipolar is shown to be hereditary - he may be concerned about future children being bipolar.
A man who truly loves you will not care about the diagnosis. Once you think a relationship may be getting serious, it's time to tell him, and allow him the chance to walk away. If he does, he never would have stuck by you when you needed him anyway, so it's no loss to you.

Answer 3

I was married to a STABLE woman with bipolar disorder until... the stresses in life would overtake her at times (e.g., childbirth, job loss, other stressors and some quite minor, etc.) and she would decompensate quickly- then the depression would strike, followed by manic episodes and the cycle would continue for long periods. She would drop from 115Lbs to <90 and then return to 115 and zoom to 135, all within 6 months. On Depakote (1500mg) she stabilized for longer periods; however, the episodes would resurface and she would again drop weight, at one time she lost >1/3 of her hair due to the weight loss.

During the manic episodes she could be aggressive, extremely hyperactive, have racing thoughts and bounce around the house like a superball- during her depression she laid in bed completely immobilized (an average of 130 days per year within our 18 year marriage), in a neuro-vegetative state. Essentially, normalcy was available <1/4 of our marriage. And I loved her with all of my heart- or so it seemed, but that part dissipated after a few episodes in which she was uncontrollable at home.

Finally, being on meds does not prevent the mood cycles from occurring, it may lengthen the time between them or the severity, but the cycles revisit you in life- all of your life.

It was hard also to live in a community as she would often behave in aggressive ways towards outsiders, screaming at men and women, having sexual dalliances in full public view, etc.
Incidentally, I still care for her and we remain very close friends, but the realities are that the pressure on a marriage is extremely heavy. The second issue would be children since bipolar disorder has a genetic component and the risks of having a child with a mood disorder are there.

So, the honest and blunt answer would be no, much, much too difficult and painful to experience and watch helplessly. On the surface these couples often appear to have conquered the condition, behind closed doors the story is very different. For example, one can go thru periods of hypersexuality during the manic phase and long periods (>3-6 months) of no sex due to her depression).

Finally, most of those responding to this will not know what they're talking about.

Answer 4

First off, I think the question should be more "will I find someone I want?" I think we focus too much on whether or not someone will want us, as opposed to if we will want them. Whatever you do, don't settle for someone simply because they accept what you think of as a flaw. I think bipolar, like anything else that falls into a chronic condition (the chemical imbalance is balanced by meds, but behavioral modifications have to be maintained to keep moods steady) is a matter of maintenance, but also not falsely advertising that things will always be rosy. Sometimes, you will have to go through med changes and therapist changes and you want to prepare the person for that. It's a matter of simply advertising yourself as you are, the good and the bad, and if you accept yourself, all parts, then you will want and you will find someone who will accept you too. Remember, people fear out of ignorance, so educating the people around you about bipolar is the first step. Good luck with everything- and you are a human being who happens to be bipolar, not a bipolar who happens to be human...

Answer 5

I think you just should not say anything on the first date or until things turn serious since it might scare people who are not literate about the topic away.
If you are in a serious relationship i think your partner will understand and support you.
I have a friend who suffers of the same desorder but under treatment she is perfectly fine, and she is happily married.
I am sure that the person that loves you will marry you doesn't matter either you have that or have no teeth.

Answer 6

Yes I would Marry someone with Bi-Polar Condition (I don't like the negativity of the word Disorder) As long as she had a grasp on the condition and stayed on medication. It's when you're "feeling better" and top taking it that can the real problems can arise, but it sounds like you know that.

Be a good person, and you most likely find your ideal relationship. Be honest about it though, and let them know. Secrets are dangerous.

Cheers!

Answer 7

i would not let bipolar disorder that is being well-managed affect my participation in a relationship.

Answer 8

people's mental illnesses don't make or break their chances of having a relationship with me. it's about whether they will love, honor and respect me.

Answer 9

I would marry them... Both of them. Hehehehe