pls help me its a serious problem about married life.?

Question

i m married since 2 years. i always feel that my husband loves me but not more than he loves his family.i know family is important...but is it fair that he always thinking about his family whenever he is with me or not... every time he keep thinking about his sister and brothers. he also knows that his mom is also not good at me...but he always says to me that dont take any tenstion i m always with u ...but i dont feel so.he feel happy when his sister and brothers praises me ....and he thinks that i should love all of them eaually.....can it be possibe that everone is good in his family ...but he thinks that he got a most perfact family in this world....pls help me suggest me something what should i say him and how can i make him understand that i cant love them all.i love my husband very much...but i cant love them all.and i think if i tell this to my husband he will stop loving me.how can i make him understand that we r intimate family..and they r estended.plss help me

Answer 1

dont tekll him that u cant love them because u can but because they are extended family u need to be concentrated on your immediate family. Make sure he knows that u care about them, but you wantto spend time alone with him ect......

Answer 2

Loved is love. Never more never less. He keeps telling you that he's always with you, doesn't he? Why do you think it's wrong for him to love his parents and siblings? He's happy when his sisters praise you. He wants you to earn your own respect in the house. Just because yo uare his wife doesn't imply that you gotta gain equal respect from his family. It's a hard earned virtue. Even at your own home you will have to earn respect.

It's just not done. You don't wanna love them, you don't want him to love them more then you, but you wanna be loved by them. Why don't make it give and take? Love them, be loved by them, earn your own respect. This would be beneficial to you as well as the whole family. How would react to it if your brother's wife won't be able to love each member of your family? Besides, even after that your brother falls for his wife and ignores your parents, what would be your suggestion about the lady?

Have patience, be a good wife, a good caretaker, and see how things around you would suddenly turn pleasant.

All the best...

:-)

Answer 3

Hi Neel,

How r u tell see it is very difficult to find a hubby like u have too loveable to his family & dont forget that u also a part of his family
next thing think that what makes u angry when he loves his family secondly do he fulfills u r requirments do he speak to u or u speak to him is his sister got married is his bro & sis works forget about his mother
1 more thing suppose if u r hubby stays at u r place (in u r mom & Fathers place ) and u does the same thing what he is doing now what would be u r action

se u bye

Answer 4

If I'm reading this right, your question boils down to this:

You think that if your husband loves his family so much, that means there is less love left for you.

You feel very needy and clingy.

The problem isn't with your husband.
It's with you.

Your husband sounds like a good guy. You sound as if nothing will ever be enough for you. If it's not his family, it will be something else.

Please go talk to a therapist. Your feeling of deprivation is, in fact, very much about you, your childhood and the way you deal with anxiety.

You can't make him understand you until you understand you.

You can do it. Good luck.

Answer 5

There are so many kinds of love, don't you know that ??
The love that a man has for his family is in no way the same as the love he has for his wife and the Mother of his children.
Sounds to me like you are very jealous of even your husbands thoughts and mention of his family. That is so sad.~~~~

What are you thinking ??You are going to kill whatever love your husband has for you. You need help in learning how to love everyone as Christ loves you. It's not hard to do once you get the green eyed monster(jealousy)out of the way. If you want to know more about how to love from the heart, get in touch with God .

I feel sorry for your husband and his wonderful close knit family that you do not want to love them all and instead want to pull him away unto yourself~In the end, you will lose a wonderful man.~Jill

Answer 6

Actually if u got to see husbands behave in this kind only.Its normal. U just want his love 4that u just have to do some small things it goes as:-
Try to keep him happy by anyways which u can, may be by listening to what he askes u to do. As u mentioned above i know its hard but u have to try to adjust, its ur new house, u r adjusting with new people. By doing this he will find that u r love him & care 4 him & do the things he likes & he will also so the same 4u.ok & never ever try to make some1 hate u. ok try this i m sure it will help u definetly ok bye GOOD LUCK IN LIFE.tc bye.

Answer 7

Hi! I think ur problem is same as mine. But to overcome it u need lots of time as well as u need to understand ur hubby family. In Indian families i.e joint families mostly ladies do face such kind of problems. But first of all u will need to make ur family happy and be always there when they need u. When u will gain their praize the automatically ur hubby will be inclined towards u. And as 4 ur mother in law it will need time to mingle will u. When ur hubby loves u then it is more than enough. As far as u r concerned try to love his family.

Answer 8

believe me I face the same problem..each word of yours tells my story and please never make him feel that you have problem loving all..I was like you before and it lead to fights between us..I then realised that I should behave very lovingly towards his family coz dear its hard to hear but true that he can and will always give preference to his family than you..and if you mess up with him in this aspect even if it is mere sharing of your feelings he wont understand and infact he will take you wrongly..remember such boys are rare and I have one too!You have to live with this dear as Im living now.Coz if I react loss is mine. Hope it helps!

Answer 9

Neel if you really love your hubby then you have to love to those people whom your husband love .Marriage in India doesn't mean marriage with your husband ,all the relations have to carry simultaneously .Go & make a good relation with your mother in law.

Answer 10

what can i say being a Indian women most Indian men are stupid when it comes to there family's its all about looking after them, tell him life is to short and we have one life to live take your pick me or them put your foot down and if he loves you he will change his ways or he will never change and never care about you or your feelings, most Indian men need to wake up and see that there parents have lived there life to the full and know its your turn his parents and sisters and brothers need to let him live his life with you his wife and be happy right.