My boyfriend is too big in the below dept for me. I am too small for him to get into. We do manage it, but with difficulty. Other than when I was abused by an old boyfriend years ago, he's the only man I've slept with. Will it slacken with age or is there any sex aids I could buy??? Please help. xxx
2007-03-03 06:58:19 · 12 answers · asked by Joanne W 4 in Health ➔ Men's Health
Not embarrassing, but I bet frustrating!
When it comes to a vagina, there is NO penis big enough! The fact that you mention the words "abuse in the past", makes me think you possibly suffer from vaginismus... It's a condition where, as soon as there's contact with your genitals, your PC muscles (the muscles in your vagina) tense up so much that your vagina CAN'T open up for penetration. It's quite common for this to be a psychological condition, not just physical...
Sure, the vagina can stretch a lot, and sure, you can use lubricants, but if you're not careful, this condition will worsen and you may end up experiencing pain.
There are a few things you can do to try and remedy this condition:
1. If you possibly still have issues relating to your previous abusive relationship, sort it out now. You may find that you mentally reject anything physical.
2. It sounds like you have a caring and understanding new boyfriend. Be open with him about the condition and make it clear to him that you shouldn't ever be pressured into having sex, as it may aggravate the whole thing.
3. Do you ever touch yourself and masturbate, or have your boyfriend do this for you? Doing it regularly is not only fun (for both of you!), but is the best way to train your brain to accept penetration and is an opportunity for you to train your PC muscles - try to relax these muscles completely and let your body "allow" physical touch or penetration. You need to train your body to accept physical contact and penetration, not to reject it. Playing with yourself will also help with lubrication, of course!
4. Obviously the use of lubricants will also help you.
Hope this helps you! Enjoy your body and the intimacy with your boyfriend!
2007-03-04 23:09:56 · answer #1 · answered by Tyler Durden 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you aren't lubricated enough - if you are nervous or don't spend long enough on foreplay, you will not produce enough moisture to allow for ease of insertion.
The vagina is very stretchy, so it is highly unlikely that you are too small or him too large. Either spend a lot longer on foreplay to make sure you are relaxed and ready, or get some lubricate such as KY Jelly or Durex. They are available from pharmacies, supermarkets and some petrol stations. You can also order on line. Make sure you use a brand that doesn't damage condoms (KY Jelly and Durex are both fine.).
If the problem still occurs with the use of plenty of lubricant, please discuss this with your doctor, as it might be psychological - I know, I've suffered with the same problem after being raped. Sometimes our mind decides that sex is too traumatic for us, and we literally 'close up'. Therapy and exercises can overcome this.
2007-03-03 07:03:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a doctor so please don't take anything I say as gospel.
I read somewhere once that theres no such thing as too big or too small ( unless you have a medical condition i suppose). so i'm guessing the problem is that you are not relaxed enough. All the letters you read in those problem pages suggest taking things slowly and also learning to pleasure yourself so you relax better.
If you are seriously worried i would suggest going to see your doctor
Good luck and i hope things get better for you. Sex should be a pleasurable thing.
2007-03-03 07:06:09 · answer #3 · answered by sharon r 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, has your boyfriend ever heard of FOREPLAY!?!? lol... It's something that is pretty much required for my girlfriend and I if I am to be able to get it inside of her... I'm not especially large, but she is VERY tight. So, I make sure that she's moist and then after that and maybe using my hand to get her goin' a little, then I enter her and it is easier for me and almost no pain for her.
Foreplay goes a LONG way
2007-03-03 10:05:26 · answer #4 · answered by bigcatbarber 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
some men are larger, but the vagine stretches or we wouldnt be able to give birth, it is more than likely youre tensingn from memories of your earlier experiences, make sure youre lubricated enough, and perhaps try a vibrator
2007-03-04 08:21:54 · answer #5 · answered by chakra girl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hes an insensitive slob Dump him.
2007-03-04 11:46:09 · answer #6 · answered by freebird 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You will eventually get used to his size. Remember, the vagina was made to stretch to accommodate giving birth, so unless his penis is larger than a baby, you should have no problems.
2007-03-03 07:02:19 · answer #7 · answered by aqx99 6 · 9⤊ 1⤋
you need plenty of lubrication, you will be able to enjoy sex with your partner if he takes his time and does not rush straight in
2007-03-03 07:49:42 · answer #8 · answered by tracy w 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
umm i dont think there are sex aids, but ask a doctor, maybe there are.
2007-03-03 14:17:56 · answer #9 · answered by george 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its not a case of you being small or him being to big
1) you need to be relaxed
2) you need to be well aroused
3) he needs to be gental
4) use ky jelly it helps
5) ENJOY
2007-03-03 08:37:49 · answer #10 · answered by mad keith 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋