When Im willing to take care of the person I love, why is that not appreciated &reciprocated?

Question

Do you think it is wrong to scratch each others back or is 1 partner always selfish?

Answer 1

A love relationship is not just a mere scratching of one anothers back, it is teamwork and committment with a lot of give and take. You have to be creative, resourceful and motivated to make it work.

People express and feel love in different ways.
The sooner you can define that for both of you the sooner you will become successful in this area. For instance my daughter is very materialistic and the only way she shows love and gives it is by giving gifts and expecting them in return. She is uncomfortable in hugging or kissing but she will buy you the world. She will question your love if you do not buy her a gift occasionally. One of my sons likes me to spend time with me, he will accept the occasional gift and hugs, but he really likes it when we sit and talk and it is the same thing he wants from his g/f. My other son likes physical touch. He does not understand the sit and talk thing nor does he want gifts. He wants a hug or a pat on the shoulder, etc.. So figure it out --how do you feel and reciprocate love and how does she feel loved and reciprocate love and see if you can get the two to mesh.

Answer 2

No two people are exactly the same - in most relationships one person gives more than the other. You shouldn't look for that perfect 50/50 split. Just do what you want to do for the other person, and don't try to keep score. I think the more you give, in most cases, the more the other gives. Just make sure you're seeing clearly. The other person may be doing things for you that you don't even realize, or aren't that important to you. Look into the book "The Five Love Languages". You and your partner may speak different "languages".
Although there are cases where one person is totally selfish, that's not normally the case.

Answer 3

You should want to scratch each other"s back. Some times it is how one is brought up, or sometimes, some people are just selfish, and only care about their own needs.

Answer 4

Ithink there is usually one partner who is more giving than the other, but in a healthy relationship...reciprocation is necessary
on some level...one does dishes,one cuts grass for example.

Answer 5

People are people and we are affected by our childhoods as well as our environments. she may not reciprocate or appreciate your efforts because she cannot get out of her own crap. she is not seeing past herself. You need to have someone appreciate you and love you right back or it's no good (for her maybe, but not you)

Answer 6

You should give love for loves sake, not because you are going to get something back.

If your partner does not feel the same way, perhaps they dont feel the same as you do. Or perhaps you havent communicated your needs fully.

Answer 7

i think its a blessing when u have a couple that work together but unfortunately it doesn't always work out that way take this my ex boyfriend who i helped out for 4 years there for him through thick and thin took his money and ran but people like that always when there luck is down wants u to be there Friend when in need .

Answer 8

Its best to do for each other it makes the relationship stronger over time.

Answer 9

no it should be reciprocated. ur niceness seems to be taken for weakness, u might wnt to re-think the person ur dealing w.

Answer 10

You should do what your heat tells you to do without any expectations of the rewards. A good work is its own reward.