would this annoy you?

Question

I have a feeling my ex`s new girlfriend is trying to stop him from being in touch with me and our son.He left 7 weeks ago and never text or anything when he was likely to be with her although i didn`t even know he was with her then i just found out 2 weeks ago.Ive met her when i was still with my ex and lets just say we didn`t hit it off.He has now changed his mobile number and i don`t have an address for him so can`t contact him unless by email which he only checks about once a week,he keeps on to come visit our son and i know this is childish but i`m thinking of letting him now as 1. i think my son is ready and 2.to get on her nerves,i`ll never let my son be in her company so he`ll be at here with him,is this bad?

I know it probably sounds as though i`m using my son here but i`m truly not as i do think my son who has learning difficulties will now be able to cope with his dad again but it does help that this might get on her nerves if she is trying to stop contact.

Answer 1

Sweetheart at the end of the day this so called man is an adult and is more than capable of making his own decisions about seeing his son or not.
If he does make contact and wants to see his son let him, i dont mean to be harsh but he left you but that does not mean he does not love his son.
As for the new girlfriend, you say you never really hit it off, you dont have to have any form of contact with her at all,so i wouldn't really let her be a thorn in your side, just dont allow your ex access to your little star just to spite her, this wont benefit your little boy and you'll look like the vindictive ex partner.
The balls in your court, and at the end of the day the most important person in this is your little boy so do whats right for him and not by trying to score points off your ex and his new lady!

Answer 2

Sounds like yes she is being a bit controlling but then i also have to wonder bout his commitment to ur son as how are u supposed to get hold of him if there was an emergency with ur son?If you feel your son is ready for visit from his dad by all means have them at your house a place where he feels safe and you'll also be there in case he isn't happy with how things go.I also agree with others make sure he is paying u some form of maintenance for ur child he helped you make him he should help u raise him either emotionally or at very least financially.

Answer 3

With the best will in the world it's always difficult not to use the children as a weapon in these circumstances. Don't believe anyone who says they haven't done it one time or another. Unfortunately now your relationship is over you won't have any influence in your exs choice of partners. Try and put your sons needs first i.e to see his Dad, whatever your views on his new partner she may end up being a permanent fixture in his life and cosequentley part of your sons life. From one who knows you may worry he gets too close to her and will not need you-this rarely if ever happens. The only advice i can give is to show your son how adults should behave with dignity (as long as you're sure he's safe let him spend time with his Dad) and ensure you move on with your own life-you're still a woman as well as a mum. Believe me boys always want their Mums and children are very savvy-he will make his own mind up about the situation so give him the best example. Most importantly hard as it is try not to complain about his Dad to him, children remember that stuff too!
good luck

Answer 4

First of all - you need to get a temporary order for support. The court will order him to provide you with his address and a phone number where he can be reached. You must have a way to get in touch with him regarding your son -especially considering the fact that visitation is taking place. That should be ALL you want from this guy. Support for your son is all he is required to provide. His new girlfriend should not be a consideration unless you feel she is actually harmful to your son. It sounds like it is time for you to move on without him.

Answer 5

i have a child with an ex and a grilfriend, my girlfriend encourages me to visit my child when her mother is being a tolal b**** i had no signed aggreement to see my daughter and my ex treated my child and me like **** aggreeing for fri till mon one week when it suited her then maybe no contact at all. I hadn't seen my daughter for 8 weeks over christmas, had her gifts at my house waiting for her mother to phone and let me collect her. It was my girlfriend who convinced me to take her to court for an arranged time that suits everyone and does not confuse my daughter who is 6, old enough to ask questions and think I dont want her. Even when my ex is still making things hard, i have nearly gave up a couple of times it is my girlfriend who makes me see things from my childs point of view. At the end of the day men are stupid and behind every good man there is an even better woman. Thats what i think anyway.

Answer 6

I think you need to think yourself lucky that he wants to see your son. There are too many men out there who have nothing to do with their kids and don't give a damn. You don't say what age your son is, but if he's old enough to understand then it's partly his decision whether or not he sees his father if he wants to. When children are involved, you need to brush aside your own feelings. It would be good for your son if he saw that all 4 of you could be civilised together - not necessarily friends, but just friendly when your son's around, otherwise it'll just mess his head up.

Answer 7

your son is entitled to see his father , dont use kids to settle your grievances. My ex wife done that 2 me an now my kids are grown up they resent her for this , and still see me

Answer 8

File for child support, your son deserves it and it will get his attention!

Answer 9

yes and i would contaact child support