What is your opinion on underage sex?

Question

both parties consenting, stable relationship, using protection

i have a younger friend considering this would like to give her some good advice age 15

Answer 1

I lost my virginity at 15. I had been with my boyfriend for over a year before, and we had been through a lot in that time, so it wasn't really your typical teenage relationship. We both lost people close to us and went through a horrific experience together. these things simply proved to me what a strong bond we had, because we saw each other at our lowest moments and still loved each other. I'm not stupid or naive, and i don't use the word 'love' lightly.
When we did have sex, we were both protected and ready for it, and our relationship carried on for a long time after that.
I think that if you are mature enough to handle all of the possible consequences of your actions, and if you know you aren't going to wake up in the morning and not be able to look at each other, and if you are in a loving, stable relationship, then theres nothing wrong with it.
Of course, I agree that many people rush into sex for all of the wrong reasons, and few people are mature enough for sex when they finally do it, and so I can only speak for myself. Of all the teenagers i know, both virgins and non-virgins, only a handful are or were ready for sex.
It is one of those things that is really a moral dilemma and will change with each person. How well do you know your friend? take a few days to watch her behaviour before you decide what to advise her. How does she act with her friends? How is she around boys? How mature is she, and how much responsibility does she have? How well does she handle situations?
All of these questions should help you decide what to advise her, so get as much info on the boyfriend and her situation as you can before you do.
Good Luck.

Answer 2

Legally it is wrong - The partner can end up in a lot of trouble - If underage then there is a presumption that consent is NOT given no matter what the under age person might say or think, no matter if it is consentual - that means the partner could be done legally BIG time. (It is often known as statutory rape). If the 15 year old really loves their partner they would protect them by saying NO.

Morally - there are as many different answers as there are people. The age limit is set for a reason, due to physical considerations, also phycological ones. But people will be ready at different ages.

My opinion is that it should not happen - too many things to go wrong at that age - too many regrets afterwards - WAIT it will be worth it.

Answer 3

Your friend should know just what a big effect having sex will have on her and her relationship.You say she is in a loving and stable relationship but is under 16.I truly feel that when you are in love and the feelings are mutual then waiting a little while cant hurt.All to often teenagers have sex and in a loving relationship this does take things to a deeper more intense level but if your friends boyfriend decides in a few months time that hes curious about sex with other girls then she will be left heartbroken.Please make sure your friend is 100%certain about what she is doing.I have been there at age 15 and I was the one who thought I was in this perfect loving relationship and he left me 9 months down the line.I dont regret him being the one because I did love him I wasnt drunk or under peer pressure but I so wish Id have kept him wanting me! and kept him gussing instead of having this rosy little picture of how much in love we were!I hope she makes the right decision and if he left her because she wasnt up 4 it then that would go 2 show he wasnt worth giving something so special away to.

Answer 4

a stable relationship when both under 16??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh dear.
i was under 16 once! and i thought b/f would last forever etc, but cant depend on that as such young ages, hormones peer pressure etc all play big aprt in how long stay together blah blah.
sorry to sound so prudish, but advise them that waiting til relationship even more stable, like when they're 16 (!) would be best. 15 at a push, but if either of them under 15 then no no no.
buy condoms, go on pill or get a coil fitted... all these options can be discussed at a family planning clinic in confidence, and if too embarrassed to go, then not mature enough to have sex.
good luck, tell them to be sensible please, unplanned babies and/or STD's are not that much fun at any age, be mature and think a while would be my advice. good luck again!

Answer 5

The question was on underage sex, not sex before marriage. All the 'wait until you get married' people should keep their noses out.
I waited until I was 18 - it was about the right time. Some young people are mature enough to handle it, some aren't. That's the problem with age limits; they don't take into account individual circumstances.
By the way, kudos to the couple for using contraception!

Answer 6

how young! Never mind sex. Do you know the definition of love. Love should always enhance your life not hold it back. Do you and your partner each have individual goals for the future? Are you allowing yourselves to go forward with these goals without controlling each other? Two people have to be able to grow together or they grow apart. I don't believe young people lack the ability to love, but you need to know the difference between real love and physical attraction. At a young age you have your whole life in front of you. Make sure that both you and your partner take that into consideration. This may not be a good time to bring a new life into this world so take those precautions. Anyone who tries to pressure you into a sexual relationship does not love you. Anyone who tries to prevent you from fulfilling your goals and dreams does not love or respect you. They are only out for themselves. Anyone who loves you will respect you and your opinions, dreams and goals and will also have dreams and goals for their own life. They teach sex education in schools, but what i speak of is LOVE education. There is a difference between love and sex. Know the difference!

Answer 7

This one by law is wrong i got with my boyfriend at 15 and have stayed together for many years now and we were under age. But i would not like to this of my daughter having under age sex i now thats the pot callin the kettle black but you dont realise its wrong until you become older and a parent. I was lucky we were both using protection and sensible but not many kids are aware of things they can catch all the nasty things out there HIV AIDS etc the nicest things they can catch is a baby. But kids dont listen to parents and that why there is a rise in STDS amongst my generation. Wait until your older that way you have age and wisdom and not thinking everything is as you see it though rose coloured glasses

Answer 8

i was only 13 when i lost my virginity. i thought i loved the guy but it was just a fascination. but the thing that bugs me now is that, i thought if ive done it once then why not do it again?
i really regret this now. i wasnt emotionally or physically ready but didnt realise this at the time. im now 18 and seeing an awesome guy ... this makes me realise what i should have waited for.
sex is sex no matter what your age is, but please warn your friend that this boy may only be with her for sex and to prepare herself for him to leave her, im not saying this will happen but it is a possibilty. just talk to her and make sure she understands the risks and that she MUST use contraception. i have just been through a pregnancy scare and it was the worst moment of my life so far.
dont try to tell your friend what to do but please let her know that sex will change her emotionally and she may not feel the same again. if this does happen, be there to support her.
i hope it all works out well

Answer 9

I think it is an unnnecessary act for some one so young, just totally WRONG. Sex is supposed to be a display of affection between two people who love each other. Teenagers don't really know what love is. They think just because some one says " I love you" that they mean it.

If you are going to have sex you need to be prepared to deal with the possibilities be it obtaining an STD or getting pregnant. You can't and shouldn't be surprised if that happens because you should have known that it could have happened.

If you get pregnant..can you affort an abortion? Do you really want to have an abortion? What about your partner...would they want to keep the baby and raise it themselves?

If you keep it...can you afford it? What happens with you and school? How will you get day care? Can a child thrive and live well in the life you are living now. Are you willing to dedicate you life to the protection and well being of another person who can not protect or care for themselves.

Not only that but your parents, getting pregnant would affect them too. So would catching an STD. They may no longer see you as a child, but an adult. You could get kicked out of your home...what would you do then?

If you give up you child...are you mentally and emotionally ready to give away YOUR CHILD... your flesh and blood, the person you carried for 9-10months and bonded with and nurished and provided for. What happens if they never get adopted? Or what if they get into an abusive foster home? That can happen. Will you regret giving you child up? If you do could you want custody back later on in their life. Not only that but you have to think of what the child will think, feel and see.

The male partner...what has he to say in this? He can get an STD and he will have parental rights too...how does this affect him and his family...his life?

There are too much oppurtunity in the world for teenagers to at least not use protection. There are free clinics ALL OVER the U.S. and there are Planned Parenthood Centers too. Help at schools. There are too many sources and types of protection, ranging from free to costly. Condoms, pills, shots, procedures, and MUCH more. The easiest, simplest and most easy to remember thing is absitnence.

Sex isn't a game or just something "fun". Teenagers are not ready to deal with the possibilites of or responsibilites that come with sex. Just because other people do it doesn't mean you should or that you are ready to. You also have to know that you having sex can affect others around you, friends, family...everyone. Our actions affect those around us and many neglect to keep that in mind. If you happen to get pregnant, there are possibilites that you won't have the "perfect 6-8 pound healthy baby" there are risks, and issues that can arise during and after pregnancy. There are genetic issues that could happen that you may never consider because you have the "it can't happen to me" idealism.

You also have to consider age because people engaging in sex acts are getting younger and younger. You have to watch out because sometimes the age difference between the two parties can get too varied, and that is VERY dangerous.

People need to wake up and realize what they are getting into and it isn't something to fool around with.

Answer 10

Personally i lost my virginity at 11, people should be able to make their decisions and be able to tell the ifference between right and wrong by the age of 7, not saying that the a age of consent should be that low, i would recommend an age change for the age of consent, i think around 13-14 would be a good age, minors know the diff between right and wrong, they've been through sex-ed and they know how to make sure intercourse is protected.